"How old is this picture?" Angela asked.
"I can answer that," Dwight butted in.
"I didn't ask you, Mr. Schrute. I asked our tour guide."
"But..."
Angela gave Dwight a quick glare and he instantly turned back to the portrait he'd been admiring. Pam suspected that the scowl on Dwight’s face had little to do with the look of triumph in Truman’s eyes.
"Well, actually I'm not sure how old that particular one is, but I do know that most of our artwork ranges from the early fifteenth century on into the Kennedy administration."
"That is soooo interesting!" Kelly gushed. "What did you say your name was again?"
"Uh...it's Ryan, Ryan Pierce."
"That’s so weird. I used to have a huge crush on this guy named Ryan. Isn't that the funniest coincidence?"
"Wait, I thought you guys were dating." Pam interjected.
"Shut UP, Pam!” Kelly whispered loudly, pulling Pam over to the edge of the group. “Just because Ryan couldn’t make it this weekend doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun without him, right? I mean, I bet you anything he’s like at a bar or something right now, chatting it up with one of those stupid little hos that hit on him anytime we go anywhere. I mean, I love Ryan, you know? But sometimes I just think maybe we aren’t really meant to be. And then I’m like, duh, of course we’re meant to be, I just have to make sure he knows that, right? So now I have like this totally awesome plan. I just need to make Ryan jealous so that he’ll realize he totally wants to be with me for the rest of our lives and then he’ll freak out when he thinks I might not want him that much, but of course I will, so then he’ll be super happy that I still love him and then he’ll want to marry me and we’ll live happily ever after! I mean, it’s perfect, right? I am such a genius!” Kelly took a deep breath after her monologue, smiled once more at Pam, then walked back to her original position right next to Tour Guide Ryan.
Pam just shook her head and wandered over toward Jim who was standing near the back of the group.
“What was that all about?” he asked, whispering in her ear.
“Oh, nothing. Just…girl talk,” she replied, knowing for a fact that an engaged woman should not enjoy the feel of a man’s breath in her ear, the way she had just enjoyed Jim’s, unless of course the man in question was her fiancé, which unfortunately, Jim was not.
“So… that’s about it for the tour.” Ryan said as he began to lead them all back toward the main lobby. “Does anyone have any questions?”
No one did. Except, of course, Dwight, but in the few minutes they’d spent together Ryan had already learned to ignore Dwight’s insistent hand in the air. When they made it to the lobby, Pam noticed Jim’s brow furrow as he scanned the group anxiously. Just then, he leaned down to her.
“When was the last time you saw Michael?”
“Oh no…” Pam instantly imagined a million different ways that this could be very, very bad. Most of them ended in an international crisis of some kind. At that point the only thing she knew for sure was that by the time this trip was over, the entire Dunder-Mifflin staff would have detailed FBI files.
“Um, Ryan?” Jim called. “I think we might have lost someone on the tour.”
“What? Oh man, I can’t believe this. Josh is gonna kill me…” Ryan seemed to be a little distracted and after mumbling to himself for a few more seconds he turned back to Jim. “Okay, do you remember where you saw him last?”
“I think I saw him in the mural room,” Pam offered.
“Right. Okay. Well, I’m gonna go look for him, and the rest of you can just wait here in the lobby, okay? Just, whatever you do, don’t go anywhere. And try not to get in the way. The people here don’t like that. Got it? Okay, I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll come with you!” Kelly burst in. “It’ll give us a chance to talk.”
Ryan would’ve protested but Kelly was already pulling him back toward the far end of the lobby.
“Actually, it’s the other way,” he explained.
“Oh. Right.” she giggled. Pam noticed Kelly didn’t change direction.
-----
“Look, Donna, I’m telling you the man can’t even speak English let alone take notes in the Senate Advisory Meeting.”
“And I’m telling you that he doesn’t have to speak English as long as he can understand it. And he’ll be taking the notes in Lebanese anyway, so it can’t possibly make a difference whether—” She stopped abruptly as she realized Josh was no longer keeping pace. When she turned around all she could see was that lost-little-boy look on his face and it took her a second to remind herself that A. he was her boss, and B. he was taken. So in other words it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to jump him right there in the lobby.
“What?” she asked.
He slowly walked across the room to her and led her through the doors into the bullpen.
“Josh, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?”
“You tell me. What are all those people doing out there?”
“That’s the tour, remember?”
“What tour?”
“The tour! The one you made Ryan do for some friend of yours from New York.”
“Really? I had no idea there were going to be that many people. I thought this was like a small company outing thing. And if that’s the tour then where’s the intern?”
They both turned back to look at the group on the other side of the glass. Ryan was nowhere to be seen. On the other hand, they did see three members of the supposed tour group head off toward Leo’s office.
“Donna.”
“I know. I’ll take care of it,” she said, her hand on the door as she prepared to step back out into the lobby.
“I’ll be in my office,” he replied.
“Hiding?”
“No. But if anyone asks this was all your idea.”
“Yeah right,” Donna muttered.
-----
“Do you think we should tell them not to wander off?” Pam asked as Kevin, Oscar, and Creed began to walk in the same direction that Kelly and Ryan had a few minutes earlier.
“Not sure how that would make any difference at this point.” Jim shrugged.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Pam knew she should probably be a little more concerned about the fact that their group’s numbers were slowly dwindling, but in reality she couldn’t bring herself to care about much of anything, other than the fact that she and Jim were now sitting side by side on a very short bench, and every so often she could feel his leg against hers when either of them shifted restlessly.
“So, Beesly? Now that you’ve seen the White House in all its historic glory, what do you plan to do with the rest of your day?”
“Well… I don’t know. I mean, Phyllis and Angela were talking about going on some bus tour of the monuments at night. That sounded pretty cool.”
“Eh.” Jim sounded unimpressed. “I think I’ve had enough bus trips already this week.”
“Well then what were you planning on doing?”
“Well, I happen to know that our hotel has a hot tub.” Jim replied, raising his eyebrows at her.
Pam froze for a second, he hadn’t actually just said that, right? Luckily Jim’s gaze was diverted by something across the room.
“Really?” Pam asked, a little surprised that she could still speak.
“Yeah, I was thinking maybe Dwight and Michael and I could spend some quality time together.”
“Oh gross! I cannot believe you just said that!”
“What? That’s what this trip is all about, right? Bonding with our co-workers and ‘learning leadership in this country’s birthplace of leadership’?” Jim asked, mimicking Michael’s conference room voice with the same words he’d used to first describe the trip to the office workers.
“Uh… I guess that’s true.” Pam nodded, not sure how to respond.
“Of course, I wouldn’t mind bonding with some of my other co-workers instead. Or maybe just one in particular.”
“Who did you have in mind?”
“Well, I did hear about a really great restaurant that’s not too far from the hotel. I don’t suppose you’d be interested?”
“Um…I’ll have to check my schedule.” Pam pretended to pull something from her purse.
“Oh, that’s too bad, it looks like I’m—wait, nope. Totally free.” She smiled at him, then paused for a second wondering why she couldn’t muster up a single feeling of guilt about the fact that Jim had basically just asked her out on a date, and she’d accepted. She knew what Roy would think, of course. But Roy wasn’t here, and Jim’s smile was completely contagious.
-----
Josh was standing with his back straight up against the wall. According to his mom this was supposed to help his circulation in stressful situations. He knew he never should’ve let David Wallace talk him into this in the first place. But when his “old college buddy” had called requesting a favor and eventually reminding him about the dirt he still had on Josh from those old college days, Josh had reluctantly agreed. Besides, Ryan needed something to do on a Sunday afternoon, right? Josh figured it was important for Ryan to get a sense of the actual working hours in the White House.
After a few minutes, he stepped back out into the bullpen, and was slightly concerned to see that Donna wasn’t at her desk. He tried looking for her in the lobby, but it was empty. He was about to just head back into his office when Ryan appeared out of nowhere. And then Donna came up behind them both.
“Are they gone?” Josh asked.
“I left them waiting here…” Ryan explained, looking around the lobby like he’d just lost the last copy of the Constitution.
“All I know is, there are three of them in the Roosevelt and I think I saw two more on my way past Communications.” Donna chimed in.
Josh looked stricken.
“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. Ryan you go find everyone. Donna you go with him and run interference in case Toby or C.J. or someone asks what’s going on. And I will go stay in my office and you know, do some actual governing while I pray that you can get these people out of the building before the secret service finds out that we have visitors running loose.”
“Got it.” Ryan affirmed.
“And whatever you do, do not let Leo know what’s going on. I’m already in enough trouble as it is today.”
-----
“Who are you?”
“My name is Michael Scott, Sir. I am the regional manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin Paper.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
“Uh…no, nope. Not really.”
“Then what are you doing in my office?”
“We-ell...” Michael trailed off, glancing around at the luxurious furniture. “Do you like magic tricks?” he asked, finally.
“Margaret!” Leo bellowed.
