Dwight sighed as he put his bag down next to his chair. Once again, Jim was at his desk and not taking his work seriously.
"What are you doing?"
Jim didn't look up from his book. "Reading."
Idiot. "I see that. Why aren't you working?"
"I'm reading Harry Potter and I'm 10 pages from the end," he said, looking up defiantly. "Do NOT ruin the ending for me."
"Please," Dwight replied. "The ending isn't that great. You'll be disappointed with the epilogue."
"Thanks," Jim replied sarcastically, leaning back over the book.
I'm not going to ask him about it, Dwight thought. He wants me to, but I won't. "What do you think of it so far?"
"Shh."
Dwight stared at him incredulously. He shushed me? His fingers started getting twitchy as he thought about reaching for his mace, then remembered that Toby confiscated it. Didn't matter anyway because mace would be a waste on Halpert.
Then Dwight looked at Pam. She seemed quiet, seemed normal. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He was getting worried this was another prank, but then who in their right mind would pull a prank involving Harry Potter? It seemed impossible.
Dwight was finishing up an order when he heard Jim slam the book shut across from him. "Done!" Jim announced proudly. "OK Dwigt, ask me whatever you want."
"My name is Dwight," he replied.
"Right. Are you going to ask me a question?"
Of course, Dwight had some. He had been thinking about them all weekend because, unlike Halpert, he had been able to finish it in less than a day. Jim was such an amateur. "Question!" he said, leaning over his desk. "Who was the baby in Harry's dream when he died?"
Jim looked up at the ceiling, as if contemplating the answer, before looking back. "Keanu Reeves."
"Jim! It was not Keanu Reeves!"
"Yes, it was," Jim replied. "Remember that scene in The Matrix? Same thing. JK Rowling ripped off whoever wrote that movie."
"The Wachowski brothers?"
"Yeah, them. She ripped them off."
Sigh. Once again, Dwight was going to have to set him straight. "First of all, JK Rowling came up with the idea for Harry Potter before The Matrix was even released. And second, they're not even brothers anymore since one of them had a sex change."
"And became JK Rowling," Jim replied, leaning back in his chair.
What? "He did not become JK Rowling. She was always a woman and she has more money than the Queen!"
"I still say she ripped off the weird baby in the white room from The Matrix guys."
Dwight couldn't take it anymore. He just could NOT have a conversation with Jim about the conclusion of his favorite series of all time -- and this was even after he made sure not to spoil the epilogue for Jim. In fact, he had warned Jim about how bad it was and wished someone had done the same for him.
"One of The Matrix guys is now a woman," Dwight said through gritted teeth, "and you don't deserve to be reading the awesomeness that is Harry Potter."
"If you say so."
"Also, I revoke your privileges to ever read another Harry Potter book again."
"What about Harry Potter fanfiction?" Jim asked as he looked over his monitor.
"No."
Jim started to look desperate and for a brief second, Dwight was thinking about removing Jim's ban.
"Not even the smutty fanfiction when Harry and Ron have sex in Grimmauld Place while Hermione is sleeping next to them?"
"Not even that!" he yelled, startling Phyllis and making Pam look up from her desk. He didn't care though. They just didn't understand the terror Jim would bring to the world if he were allowed to be a Harry Potter fan.
"It was a good book," he heard Jim mutter from across their desks.
"The best," Dwight replied quietly.
Jim looked over at him with a questioning look. "Even better than Prisoner of Azkaban?"
Dwight hadn't thought about it that way -- well, at least not until Jim had brought it up. "Even better," he said as honestly as he could.
Jim gave him one of those quirky smiles. "I agree."
Well, at least he isn't a total loss, Dwight thought. Maybe he would bring his Battlestar Gallactica DVDs in for Jim to borrow. Maybe.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: I'm totally hot, I know, but that doesn't mean I want the phone numbers of NBC's lawyers. So this is just a reminder, lawyers, that I'm married and these characters aren't mine.
Author's Chapter Notes:
My favorite couple on The Office is Jam and my second favorite is Dwim. That being said, these are NOT slash [sorry, slashers!]. So I present two friendly enemies and the sometimes cute things that occur between them. This is the beginning of this series, don't know if it'll have an end. These are all vignettes and I'll add more as inspiration strikes.
Btw, this has spoilers for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. You've been warned.
