Your most marked characteristic?
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Kelly: “I would have to say…being married to a billionaire hottie and having hundreds of babies at our mansion in the Hamptons.”
Pam: “Pursing my dreams and actually succeeding.”
Jim: “Dwight wouldn’t exist so…I’m gonna say ‘no comment’ just in case I’m not allowed to say that.”
Meredith: “Me-ten years younger, a beach, white sand, a man in a blue speedo, and no kids in sight. That’s pretty much perfect to me. A drink in one hand, a man in the other.”
What is your greatest fear?
Toby: “Working here for the rest of my life…while Michael manages the branch.”
Angela: “The Lord‘s wrath….and, the group of Mexicans that moved in down the street from me.”
Dwight: “I don’t get frightened by things of this world. Now, show me a rogue unicorn that is interested in hurting humans and I’m useless. My strength will not stop them nor will any technology that man has created. That concerns me. Otherwise, I‘m not a sissy at all.”
Creed: “Marriage.”
Michael: “I’m not really scared of anything. Oh…wait…(thinks) I’m afraid of ticks. They weird me out.”
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Dwight: “I don’t identify with him right now, but when I have the power to rule like he did, I will model my government after Adolf. He was such a history maker.”
Michael: “Do you remember that movie where Joaquin Phoenix plays that really bad guy with Russell Crow? Well, I’d be him. I’d be Joaquin. He was a tortured soul…but powerful…and looked good in armor and a cape.”
Which living person do you most admire?
Dwight: “Myself.”
Andy: “Hmmm…that’s a toughy. I admire my superiors. (to the camera man) Will they be seeing this? Because if so, I admire you guys…a lot.”
Pam: “My mother.”
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Dwight: “I am reminded of Superman. His only weakness was loving and caring for this human race. I, too, have that weakness.”
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Michael: “Fugly.”
Kevin: “I hate when people are up-tight and hateful. And, I hate sitting across from those people that are like that.”
What is your greatest extravagance?
Jim: “I don’t frivolously spend usually…but most of my checks are spent on restaurants. And, the satellite bill.”
Meredith: “Anti-depressants. And a little friend of mine, Jose Cuervo.”
Dwight: “My time. I waste a lot of time caring…”
What is your favorite journey?
Dwight: “I would love to walk the path to Mordor…and find the places that the hobbits and all the other members of the fellowship walked. It would be nostalgic and meaningful.”
Kevin: “Journey. The band.”
Toby: “From the moment I leave the office to when I arrive home at night. It’s so freeing.”
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Dwight: “Honesty.”
Angela: “Kindness.”
Michael: “I think that show…uh…The Hills is overrated. It’s not really that good…”
On what occasion do you lie?
Creed: “I don’t lie. Never have been able to. But, on occasion, I lie when I’m asked any type of question where I have to be honest. It’s all that Albanian woman’s fault.”
Pam: (eyeing camera man) “I only lie when someone gets up in my face wanting to know how my day was or about something personal that I’m just not ready to discuss.”
Angela: “Lying is a sin. There is no level of sin. So, even if I lie, to God it seems like I just committed murder. Therefore, I tend to find other ways around lying. Such as: avoiding the truth.”
Michael: “When I’ve done something wrong. Little white lies never hurt anyone. Except when they escalate into bigger lies that end up making Jan even more mad-”
Jim: “Let me see….when my mother asks me how I am when I’ve had a bad week…or month. I can’t let her worry about me. Usually she figures out how I really am and I get a card or some baked goods in the mail three days later. It sometimes pays to lie to your folks…”
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Pam: “I rarely like anything about my appearance…but, I‘ve heard that I have really pretty eyes.”
Kelly: “I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’m beautiful. I am. It’s only a matter of seconds before people notice when I walk into a room.”
Which living person do you most despise?
Dwight: “Easy….everyone.”
Kevin: “Angela from accounting…and Ferris Bueller…he was such a show off.”
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Oscar: “’Yes, mother.’”
Pam: “’Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.’ I’ve said that five years too many.”
Phyllis: “I don’t think I ever overuse any phrases or words. I usually keep to myself and get straight to the point when speaking. My husband, Bob Vance-Vance Refrigeration-is the same way. We‘re quiet people.”
What is your greatest regret?
Jim: “Introducing myself to Dwight Schrute on my first day of work here.”
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Dwight: “No comment.”
Michael: “Jan would kill me if I didn’t say she was, so I guess I’ll say Jan….but, if Jan wasn‘t around…I‘d say Cheez Its. Those things are amazingly delicious.”
Kelly: “A few months ago, I would’ve said Ryan. But, now…the greatest love of my life is myself…and my Jimmy Choo heels.”
Which talent would you most like to have?
Jim: “The ability to tune people out.”
Michael: “I would like to be able to read people’s mind….yeah….just so I can hear their thoughts about what they think of me. A lot of the times, I know my employees don’t express how much I mean to them because it‘s embarrassing to be the suck up. So, if I could read their thoughts, I would know how much they love me. And, I could tell what Jan’s really thinking when I ask her what she is thinking. For some reason, I always feel like she’s lying.”
