What is your current state of mind?
Meredith: “Everything is usually hazy. So…hazy. Is hazy a state of mind?”
Creed: “Illinois.”
Pam: “I’m usually content. It’s only when Michael asks me to rewrite his messages in another color when I start to lose it.”
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Dwight: “Nothing. We are a superior race, the Schrute clan is.”
Jim: “Let me see…(thinks) I would change…the gene in our chromosomes that cause heart disease. Or, wish my sister away like I did when I was nine…”
Michael: “Jeff.”
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Michael: “Working here. It has been an honor to serve Dunder Mifflin for fourteen years. The reason? I’m a manager. How many people go to work saying that their the manager of their work? Not many. And, the other reason would be…because I lost my trophy from the third grade science fair and have no way to prove that I got honorable mention.”
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Creed: “I’d come back as a quality assurance man at this paper company. There’d be no surprises if I did. If not, I‘d bet my left shoe that I‘d get shafted and be turned into a spider monkey. (thinks) Long story….”
If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
Angela: “I don’t believe in reincarnation. But, if by chance it works out that way, I’d like to think that I’d become a feline of great beauty. You know, since I care greatly for my cats.”
Kevin: “You know the poles that strippers use to swing and dance on? I’d come back as that.”
Andy: “That’s so simple it’s stupid…duh…myself!”
What is your most treasured possession?
Kevin: “A signed pigskin from the Dallas Cowboys. I keep it hidden so Stacy or Abby won’t touch it. Last time I played with it, I smudged some of the autographs.”
Phyllis: “My great grandmother’s knitting needles. She knitted my baby blanket. There’s over a 2,000 stitches in that thing. Wait, I change my answer. My baby blanket that my great grandmother made me. (to the side) I wonder where that went…”
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Meredith: “When you have to sell your body for things. Anything…food, acceptance, booze…it’s all appalling and I regret ever getting that low.”
Where would you like to live?
Andy: “Wherever people accept me. Not including my mother’s basement.”
Jim: “It doesn’t matter which city, but I hate living in apartments. I know my neighbors way too well.”
Angela: “At a small, nice, quiet farm far away from civilization.”
Pam: “No where near Jane and Chris in apartment 307 in Constantine Heights Apartments.”
What is your favorite occupation?
Pam: “Not this one.”
Jim: “I coached some b-ball at the Y when I was in college. But, it’s not really an occupation when you’re not getting paid, right?”
Andy: “The ultimate occupation would be like…being in the FBI or CIA. I could do that. Keeping secrets and messing with people’s minds are my forte. Or, doing what Jack Bauer does everyday. I mean, every hour of his life is action packed. How does the man ever sleep?”
Michael: “This one, of course. Could it get any better?”
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Jim: “Uhh….”
Dwight: “Testosterone.”
Michael: “Go ask Oscar…”
Meredith: “Ass, pecks, and….(looks innocent) what?”
Pam: “They’re good natured side. And, the way some of them make me feel special.”
Phyllis: “Tall. Handsome. Handy. Smart. Rich. I got all that when I married Bobby.”
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Jim: “There’s a lot. Let me see (counts on fingers)…A sense of humor, great personality, nice smile, sincere heart, outgoing…ummm…need I go on?”
Kevin: (snickers) “Let me just say that it’s not her brains.”
Stanley: “Are you trying to get me in trouble?”
Andy: “Her undying affection for me.”
Angela: “I don’t really like other women. Thus, why I don’t speak to my sister or her daughters…or my mother…”
Who are your favorite writers?
Michael: “The guy who wrote and drew the Snoopy cartoons. He’s a genius.”
Andy: “The writers for Lost. The best series writing I’ve seen in years.”
Dwight: “Tolkien.”
Kelly: “Whoever created the Shopaholic series is like my favorite-est person ever. I mean I haven’t read them… who has time to sit down and read these days? Oh, and the Gossip Girl series! Did you hear it’s a show now? Now, I don’t even have to pick up the books!”
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Dwight: “There are too many to just pick one. But, I will say….(thinks) the first winner of Survivor; Richard.”
Who are your heroes in real life?
Dwight: “I already told you. Richard from Survivor. Next question.”
Oscar: “All the firemen and police officers….”
Michael: “Buddha, Gandhi, Jesus, Moses, Oprah, Tom Cruise, Neil Armstrong….”
What is it that you most dislike?
Oscar: “Homo-phobes…and posers.”
Jim: “Do you really want me to say it?-”
Creed: “Rectal exams and boils.”
Pam: “Spiders….”
Jim: (raises eyebrows and smiles) “Fine. Stinky belly buttons. It’s disgusting…and yet, it happens to the best of us.”
Meredith: “Foot rot. Disgusting.”
How would you like to die?
Kevin: “In the arms of a beautiful woman on a warm sunny day with a can of Schlitz in my hand.”
Kelly: “I don’t want to talk about death. It creeps me out.”
Jim: “Hopefully, in my sleep. You know, peaceful…”
Angela: “It doesn’t really matter, because I have assurance that my life really begins after this earthly life vanishes. Or, I’ll be taken in the Rapture.”
Dwight: “Long before my body decides to shut down, I’ll have made a machine that can harvest my entire body and replenish its strength on a daily basis. I will be virtually immortal.”
What is your motto?
Kelly: “Motto? What’s that? (leans forward to hear camera man speak) Oh, ummm…I would have to say…‘Girls just wanna have fun.’”
Kevin: “Live free or die hard.”
Jim: “’It’s only eight hours a day, Jim. It’s only eight hours.’”
Toby: “It could be worse.”
Michael: “They’re GREAT! You know, Tony the Tiger….get it?”
