Where would you like to live?
Dwight: I am perfectly happy with my current location. Having a beet farm is very profitable. I wouldn't mind a second bathroom though. Inside the house.
Michael: Ugh, Dwight..you're just-just so weird. I, however, would like to live in Hooters. Or Walmart.
What is your idea of earthly happiness?
Michael: Just hangin' out in my crib wit my girl!
Dwight: Just a plentiful supply of rain for my farm. That is all I ever ask for.
Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
Michael: Uhm..well, I would probably have to say the prince in Sleeping Beauty. I wish a guy would risk his life to kill a dragon for me!
Dwight: I would say myself, but I am not fictional. So, Han Solo.
Your favorite musician?
Dwight: Mozart. When my mother was pregnant with me, she played Mozart all of the time. I would not be the same person without. it.
Michael: Mozart? Seriously?!? Ugh..I enjoy Alicia Keys' music. So inspiring.
The quality you admire most in a man?
Michael: Uhm..I guess whatever Oscar admires..
Dwight: Intelligence. Dependability. And a broad knowledge of hunting ducks. Basically, my own qualities. But, you will NEVER find another Dwight Kurt Schrute. Isn't that just too bad.
Your favorite virtue?
Michael: I'm sorry? I don't understand the question.
Dwight: Patience. I once waited under a tree for three days straight for a family of squirrels. Best meat I've ever had.
Your favorite occupation?
Dwight: The job I currently have, of course. I wouldn't mind being Regional Manager though. I've almost been regional manager. Twice.
Michael: Uh, no Dwight. I'm not leaving this job, ever. Unless McDonald's has an open managing position.
Your most marked characteristic?
Michael: You mean like a birth mark? Cause I've got this one on my lower back..looks like a tattoo. Gets me all the ladies.
Dwight: I do not have a MOST marked characteristic. They are all equally marked.
The quality you most like in a woman?
Michael: Boobs and a butt. [laughs] And legs. Like that wrestler chick. What's her name, Stacy Cobbler?
Dwight: I look for the same qualities in a woman as I do in a man.
Michael: Dwight, that is so gross! What are you? Bisexual?
Dwight: No, Michael. I am not speaking romantically. I am very happy in the relationship I am currently in. Healthiest one of my life.
What is your motto?
Michael: Probably that thing Dora the Explorer always says. Uhm..what is it? Oh yeah! 'Swiper No Swiping!' She is such a great role model. And, because of her, I am now bilingual.
Dwight: I have no motto. I live my life up to my own standards, not by what someone else says.
In what country would you like to live?
Dwight: China. I read that families there sometimes give up their female offspring because they are too weak for labor. The males are who get the work done.
Michael: New Mexico. I mean, it's better than Mexico because it's newer..so who wouldn't want to go there?