September 22, 2005
Sometimes, when I’m playing Free Cell on my computer, I’m really not. I’ve got my computer set up just perfectly where I can look at the screen, but really look at him instead. All I have to do is look up slightly, and there he is. Perfect, as usual. I hate this job, but I love looking at him. Sometimes, I look a little too long and he can feel me staring at him, so I have to turn away. Sometimes, the phone rings and startles me, and I have to look down at the post it note on my desk to even remember how to answer the call. Sometimes, though, he’ll turn his chair around, smile at me, and everything else will disappear.
I feel guilty feeling this way. I’m with Roy. I’ve been with Roy since I was 15, and I’ll be with Roy until the day I die, if we ever get married. I don’t understand why he’s jerking me around the way he does. I’ve been with him for so long I just don’t know who I am outside of him. It didn’t bother me until I came here… And now there’s Jim, my best friend, Jim. Maybe people have feelings like mine about their best friend all the time. I’ve never really had a best friend before. Maybe all of these feelings are just normal “best friend” feelings, and Roy, maybe he’s really the love of my life. I guess that’s all I have to hold onto… After all, nobody else is going to want me.
It wasn’t so bad when Roy left me at Chili’s the other day… I mean, I chose to stay. He wanted me to leave, but I said no to him. I don’t normally do that, I guess it kind of took him by surprise… But I stayed, and I was so angry at him and so hurt by him I didn’t know what to do… I didn’t want Jim to see me upset, so I just had a few drinks… I don’t remember much about The Dundies. I do remember that Kevin got some sort of award for farting. I asked Jim what happened, but he wouldn’t tell me. He said it wasn’t important. I must have done something really bad. I guess I’ll just see it next year when I have to make another highlights video… I do know one thing, though. My trophy is different this year… I didn’t get the “World’s Longest Engagement” trophy, which is good. I have enough of those. And besides, my engagement is not the world’s longest engagement yet. I googled it one day and this couple, Ocatavio and Adriana were engaged for 67 years. So Michael is stupid and wrong, as per usual…
I was pretty ecstatic about the award I did get. Whitest Sneakers. I’m not sure why I got it… Well, I mean, I know I got it thanks to my handy-dandy Keds… But how anyone convinced Michael to not give me that award, I don’t know. Well, actually I do… Dwight told me. He was trying to be mean, I think, but really, it just made me happy. Apparently, Jim told Michael that everyone expected that award, and the he really should consider giving me a different award… And then Michael did. Jim’s a good friend.
Roy and I are going to grab some pizza. Apparently, this is Roy’s idea of a “date”. Oh well, I’ll take what I can get. Pizza and beer and sex. They do say your relationship starts to go down hill the more you’re in it, right? I mean, under most circumstances, Roy and I would be married, and that’s when your sex life goes down hill and everything, so we’re right on schedule. Yep. I’m excited about the pizza part, at least… Even though Roy hates it when I eat pizza. I’ll have two slices and I swear it’s almost like I gained thirty pounds. Oh well, I think I’m just a little nitpicky today. “Free Cell” is more fun than dissing on Roy anyway.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Spoiler: If you haven't seen The Dundies, don't read ahead.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pam, Jim, or anything affiliated with The Office, other than a pen with some of Michael's best phrases on it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pam, Jim, or anything affiliated with The Office, other than a pen with some of Michael's best phrases on it.
Chapter End Notes:
Please review! I have chapters written all the way up to The Client. I'll upload them when I get reviews :) Let me know if you have any suggestions, criticism, etc...
