INT. MICHAEL’S CONDO – THANKSGIVING MORNING
Michael is wearing sweatpants and his Fun Run T-Shirt, he is seated in the dining area, with the kitchen visible over his shoulder.
MICHAEL: So it’s Thanksgiving morning, I have the Macy’s Parade on the boob tube and the bird in the oven. Speaking of boobs, Jan left last night to visit her sister in Scottsdale. Apparently they patched up their differences and I may see her before Christmas. She got a shiny new credit card and said that she needed time to clear her head.
There is smoke beginning to come out of the oven, unseen by Michael.
But I have my turkey in the oven, Stove Top Stuffing in one microwave and my Potato Buds in the other. I got a can of cranberry sauce for Jan but I’ll save that for her. She made a shopping list of her favorite Thanksgiving foods before the deposition… And I’ve decided that I don’t care about carbs today. Bring them on. I need something to keep me company around the holidays.
The smoke is very thick now and it is billowing out of the oven. The smoke alarm starts beeping while the cameraman gestures towards the kitchen to Michael who looks at the oven then turns to bolt for the door, knocking the camera out of the cameraman’s hand and onto the floor. The camera frame is still, showing Michael running out of the condo, screaming
EXT. SCHRUTE FARMS – THANKSGIVING MORNING
The porch of Schrute Farms. Dwight is sitting in the rocking chair whittling with a Bowie knife, drinking a tin of coffee, listening to the police scanner.
DWIGHT: No, I do not celebrate holidays in the traditional sense. Since security locked the gates and I do not want to deface Scranton Business Park property, I have no choice but to stay home.
Luckily the holidays are an optimal time for public disturbances, so I have my police scanner ready. Although I may no longer be a Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy, I do feel it is my duty as a citizen of this fine county to be aware of troublemakers and charlatans. Also, my chores are done so I am just going to take in the beauty of the beet farm and enjoy the relative quiet…
POLICE SCANNER: We have a call in from Daniels Boulevard that there is an excess of smoke coming from Condo 126.
DWIGHT: 126 Daniels Boulevard is Michael’s Condo!
[Jumps up from rocking chair, throws coffee tin and Bowie knife at the house, splattering it with coffee while the knife sticks in the ground]
POLICE SCANNER: Unit 18 at the scene, dispatch. Excess of smoke due to a frozen turkey in the oven.
[laughs]
Guy must not know that you need to defrost the bird first instead of raising the temperature to 500?!
Dwight continues to run towards Trans Am, not hearing the last bit of scanner information. He slides over the hood of his car, falling to the ground. He continues to yell for Michael. He gets into the Trans Am, peels out of the driveway and slaps a light to the roof of his car.
INT. PAM’S APARTMENT – THANKSGIVING MORNING
Pam is in her apartment’s kitchen, pulling out a Green Bean Casserole; Jim knocks on the door, letting himself in.
JIM: Pam! Are you decent?
PAM: Sorry, but yes.
JIM: Do you want me to come back later?
PAM: Get in here!
[laughing]
JIM: You look nice!
[sniffing the air]
Something smells g…
PAM: …good? Oh I’m glad, I was worried that I would burn it or ruin it somehow. It’s hard to mess up Green Bean Casserole, but I’m sure I’d find a way to do it. I’m just so nervous about meeting your folks and I want to make a good first impression. Are you sure this is okay for me to wear? I was thinking of wearing…
JIM: [interrupting]
Kelly?
PAM: What?!?
JIM: Oh, I’m sorry. For a moment there I thought you had turned into Kelly what with your speed talking. If I would’ve heard you utter the words Bridget, Jones or Diary I would’ve walked out.
PAM: Very funny Halpert.
JIM: Are you ready?
PAM: Just about.
Pam puts casserole into a basket. Camera pans to Jim who has a look of mild disgust on his face.
JIM: Did you talk to my mom about what she needed you to bring?
PAM: No, you said to just bring whatever my favorite side dish is! Is she going to hate it?
JIM: I don’t think she’ll hate it, no.
PAM: Jim, should I have made something else? Does someone else usually bring Green Bean Casserole? Is Larissa allergic? Should we stop somewhere and get something else…
JIM: C’Mon Kelly, let’s go.
[smiles and takes basket; when Pam gets her coat on, he frowns]
PAM: Very funny.
[as they walk out, Jim’s cell phone rings]
Who is it?
JIM: [frowns]
Michael?
PAM: Let it go to voicemail, I don’t want to be late.
EXT. CURB ACROSS THE STREET FROM MICHAEL’S CONDO – LATE MORNING
Michael is sitting on the curb, there is a fire engine and emergency response vehicle on the street.
MICHAEL: [on cell phone]
…so if you could make room for me at your table, I’d sure appreciate it. Call me back. I’ll call Pam next. Bye.
[to camera man]
Jan took my PT Cruiser to long term parking at the airport, so I am stuck out here. She’s probably enjoying the sun in Scottsdale, so I won’t bother her.
[Michael opens cell phone and places another call]
Pam! I just tried calling Jim and he didn’t pick up either. I know you two are probably doing it right now but could you stop and come get me? You owe me one Pam. Remember after Diwali and you needed a ride home? Wait that was me… Or that one time you saw me naked in my office? That was generous of me Pam. Just come get me. Hurry. I only have a T-Shirt on. I’m cold.
[voice mail beeps; he hangs up]
INT. JIM’S CAR – LATE MORNING
Jim is driving and Pam is in the passenger seat.
PAM: [reviewing]
Your mom’s name is Jennie, your dad’s name is Greg. Larissa and Ricky are your siblings. Ricky, not Rick, is married to Jen, not Jennie, and they have a baby girl, Mindy.
JIM: [smiling]
Congratulations. You officially know more about my family than I do.
[goes to hold her hand]
They’re gonna love you too.
PAM: [Pam’s phone vibrates, she opens her phone]
I got a voice mail from Michael too.
JIM: [sees Dwight’s Trans Am speeding through the intersection in front of them, with his light on turning into the subdivision where Michael lives]
Was that?
[frowns with concern]
PAM: Yes.
JIM: Would you listen to your voicemail?
PAM: Sure…
[listens to her voicemail]
Michael wants us to pick him up because he’s only wearing a T-Shirt?
JIM: Dwight is in a bit of a hurry just for a pantsless Michael…
[pulls out his cell phone]
Will you listen to my voicemail?
PAM: Sure… what is your PIN?
JIM: 5602
PAM: 5602? Is that the…
JIM: …day I met you.
PAM: [smiles, leans in to give Jim a kiss on the cheek; listens to Jim’s voice mail]
A fire? There’s been a fire in Michael’s condo and his car is at the airport…
[Jim turns car quickly]
Jim, are you sure? We’re supposed to be at your folks’ house before the Packers/Lions game…
EXT. THE STREET FROM MICHAEL’S CONDO – LATE MORNING
In front of Michael’s condo, Dwight pulls up in his car and slams on the brakes to stop right in front of Michael.
DWIGHT: [quickly exits his car]
Michael, are you alright, do you need medical assistance?
MICHAEL: What are you doing here?
[frowns]
I haven’t called you yet.
DWIGHT: It doesn’t matter Michael, I am here now. Everything will be okay. Here, put on a sweatshirt… you must be cold.
[Dwight hands him the Battlestar Galatica sweatshirt as Jim and Pam pull up]
PAM: Oh Michael, what happened? Where’s Jan? Did you leave her in there?
MICHAEL: [leaning into Jim’s car window]
I burned my turkey Jim. Don’t tell Ryan.
JIM: Why would Ryan care if you burned your turkey?
MICHAEL: Cheesy Pita Jim. Cheesy Pita.
PAM: Where is Jan?
MICHAEL: Scottsdale, and she left the PT Cruiser at the airport. Hey, can I come with you to your Thanksgiving? The fire department said I’d need to vent the house for a day or two and I just don’t want to go back in there. Too many bad memories.
DWIGHT: You can come to my house Michael. Stay in the America room until you can get back on your feet. No charge, complements of the manager.
JIM: Great idea Dwight. Pam and I loved staying at the Radish-Inn Michael.
MICHAEL: Yeesh. Why don’t we all go out there then?
[Dwight shakes his head no]
I’ll make some calls, get the office together again.
PAM: We saw everyone yesterday.
JIM: Thank you, but no. My new niece is at my folks’ house and…
PAM: …yes, and I haven’t gotten to meet Jim’s family yet. Thanks anyway Michael.
MICHAEL: They can come too!
PAM: Just… no.
MICHAEL: Your loss.
[starts dialing on cell phone]
JIM: [To Dwight]
Thanks.
DWIGHT: It is an honor to help Michael in his time of greatest need Jim. It’s something his #2 should do.
MICHAEL: [on cell phone]
Andy! Office closure chain of calls has turned into the Thanksgiving Leftovers hotline! Call Stanley and Angela and they’ll know who to call next. Yes, I know Toby should be notified but he isn’t allowed to be anywhere near me. We’re meeting at Schrute Farms.
[pauses]
Bring whatever!
JIM: Looks like everything is under control here. Dwight, Michael, Happy Thanksgiving.
[They pull away]
-END OF ACT I-
