After a ten minute walk they arrived at a lunchroom called Mandy's place. It was kind of chilly outside so Jim was glad when they finally got there. They went inside and sat down at a little table in the corner of the room. Almost immediately a waitress came over and asked:
"Can I take your order, please?"
"Yeah, I'll have a number 16, please." Ryan said. Jim cocked his eyebrows in suprise.
"And what about you, friend of Ryan?" The waitress said, turning to face him.
"Well, erm.. I'll have the same, thank you."
"Very well, I'll be back in a minute." She left the table and dissapeared into the kitchen. Jim could hear a jazzy song playing as he watched her leave and then suddenly became aware of the fact that he was sitting here, with Ryan.
"Woow, so..." He gave Ryan a confused look.
"I come here more often."
"Never would have guessed."
"My uncle owns this place, so... I don't think he's in today, but you know. The food's pretty good actually."
"That's cool. So what's a number 16?"
"Scrambled eggs and a bagel."
"Nice."
For a while they sat at the table quietly. Jim was looking outside the window when the waitress came back with two number 16's. When he had eaten half of his bagel he finally started talking again.
"So, Ryan. You wanted to tell me something?"
"Yeah, well actually, I'd like to tell you a story."
"Okay, you're making me really curious. What's it about?"
"It's about when I was in high school."
"Ah, the good old days."
Ryan smiled uncomfortably.
"Sorry, no more interruptions." Jim didn't really know why he apologized. Somehow he felt like Ryan was struggling with something. He silently waited for him to start talking as he began to eat his scrambled eggs.
Ryan was shifting in his chair. After what seemed like an eternity he bursted into a cascade of words.
"Okay, well I don't think I've ever told anyone about this. It's kind of personal. So, here it goes. I used to know this girl, Laura. We had a lot of classes together. And she really was a great person. She was like really beautiful, really smart and very sweet. We used to have so much fun together. We fooled the teachers, joked about everything and when I got in trouble, she always got my back. When I was sick, she'd come over every day to tell me what had happened at school and to make me feel better. And you know what Jim? I'm just going to cut to the chase. As time went by, I realized that I loved her. I mean I really loved her. I would have done anything to make her happy, because she ment the world to me. But as another year passed, she suddenly had a boyfriend."
He paused and took a huge bite of his eggs, blinking rapidly. Jim just kept staring to his plate, words escaping him.
"A really tough guy, football player of course. I didn't like him. He just seemed so fake to me. And I never understood what the hell she saw in him. God, he ruined everything. She stopped coming over whenever I was sick, she never felt like pulling pranks on our teachers anymore, and after a while we kind of stopped talking to each other. I felt so alone, I..."
Jim glanced up when Ryan stopped talking. He looked like he was going to burst into tears, and it made him feel really uncomfortable. He didn't really know what to do, or what to say. He didn't even know Ryan that well. He certainly never had a conversation like this with him. And why was he telling him this? Why had this guy suddenly opened up to him. Did he just need someone to talk to or was there something else?
"That sucks, Ryan. I'm sorry." What a lame response, he thought to himself.
Ryan took a shaky breath, and then continued.
"So one night I went over to her house. I just did it, it wasn't like me at all, but something came over me that night. I just snapped. I started yelling at her. I told her he wasn't right for her, that I didn't understand why she would ever want to be with such a jerk. She got mad too, of course. She told me I didn't understand her at all, and then she told me to leave. But I didn't. I grabbed her hands and I told her I missed her. So much, I couldn't think of anything else anymore. And then I told her I loved her. That I hated seeing her with someone else. That I was jealous at that other guy. She said she didn't know what to say. So I left."
He stopped, just staring at the wall. Jim felt like he needed to say something, anything to comfort Ryan. But he couldn't think of anything to say. Ryan sighed.
"She got in an accident. A car crash. I remember her father coming over to my house, telling me the news. I remember how I received a letter from her the next morning. She must have sent it to me, hours before she died."
Ryan was crying, silently. Jim felt almost paralized.
"Ryan, I'm so sorry," he whispered.
Ryan was now resting his head in his hands, looking almost determined to get everything off his chest, to just get his story out of his heart rather than really sharing it with Jim. The words seemed to escape his lips, as he seemed unable to stop talking.
"She wrote to me, what I had wanted her to say so badly. She wrote to me that she was sorry, for neglecting me. That she missed me too and she had always loved me, but just couldn't show it for some reason. That she wasn't planning to give up, she would make things better. She promised me that. I must have read that letter a thousand times. It made me feel so happy, to know that she had loved me, and at the same time it made me feel so sad. So sad."
"Ryan, I don't really know what to say. I..."
"You don't have to say anything," Ryan replied, almost sounding annoyed.
"I just wanted you to listen. Jim, I still regret every day, that I didn't confess my feelings to her earlier. I know that's what I should've done. Things could have been different for us. But I wasted so much time."
Ryan looked at him. He was sitting there opposite of him, blank face, silent still.
"Just remember this," Ryan said.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not blind, Jim. I see the way you look at her. And most importantly, I see the way she looks back at you. Just remember this, I don't want you to make the same mistakes I have. You never know what could happen."
"Whoa, Man! What makes you think that...?"
"We need to get back," Ryan interrupted him. He got up from his chair and grabbed his coat.
"Our lunchtime is over."
He left the lunchroom, leaving behind a confused and a bit scared Jim.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Ryan tells Jim a very confronting story.
Chapter End Notes:
Next up: Jim get's back to the office, and... Pam.
