"Jim?"

"Yeah...still here. Sorry, kind of...zoned out for a minute."

"Oh...you okay? I feel like an idiot yammering about Lorraine and you're not even listening."

"No, I'm sorry...I just...sorry...so this is your third date with Lorraine?"

"Don't even act like you were listening. What's up with you?"

"No, I want to hear about Lorraine, and how sad it is that she finds you date-able."

"For the same reasons your ex girlfriend Melissa did."

"That was third grade, doesn't count. ((heavy sigh))"

"Counts to me. So tell me, what's going on, didn't you have some awards thing to go to tonight?"

"Yeah...yeah. The Dundies."

"Sounds spectacular. Like the Oscars mixed with Senior Night at Scranton High."

"Scranton High probably has better awards. Most likely to grow up and become a Paper Salesman at a Dead End Job. Thank you very much; ladies and gentlemen...I'd like to thank my guidance counselor, my college advisor, the failing economy..."

"So what award did you get?"

"I don't remember..."

"Short term memory loss already, Jim? So young."

"Oh, I won the Jim Halpert award..."

"How boring for you. He didn't give you the Tallest Freak of Nature in the Office? Or Most Likely to Find a Way NOT to Work?"

"Eh...I like my award. It's classy."

"What did Pam get? No, no...let me guess....Longest Engagement. Like last year and the year before..."

((long pause))

"Hello?"

"Uh...no, no...I finagled Michael into giving her something else this year. Um...she got....Whitest Sneaker Award."

"What's going on, Jim?"

"Aren't you going out with Lorraine tonight?"

"Talk to me, bro."

"Pam kissed me."

"Bullshit!"

"Okayyy...((heavy sigh))"

"Jim?! This is big! This is huge-!"

"That's what she said..."

"Who said? Pam?!"

"No...not...it's a joke Michael does and it's...annoying...look, it doesn't matter."

"What happened?!"

"I don't even know where to begin. She'd been having a bad day. Michael forced her to watch old Dundie tapes and she had to watch herself getting the Longest Engagement award over and over and over again. She looked a little upset, so I...being Jim, the nice guy I am, went in and convinced Michael to give her another award. She always looks so embarrassed when he announces it, so hurt-"

"Well, that's what happens when you're engaged to an asshole."

"She...loves him...I guess. I don't know."

"Yeah...((long pause)) So where's Katy?"

"She's at home. She didn't go with me. I didn't ask her really. I know we could invite family and friends, but I just...I didn't even think to invite her."

"Well you still haven't told me how you and Pam kissed."

"It doesn't matter, it didn't mean anything. She was drunk anyway, and...I dunno. Basically Roy and Darryl came with her and right before things got really started, Roy being the asshole he is, wanted to leave. I'm guessing Pam wanted to stay, even if it was embarrassing to get her award...but I mean, he never lets her fucking do anything...or more like she lets him not let her do anything. So she comes back in, they must have argued and she decided to stay. But she came back in and started guzzling drinks. It was kind of adorable because Pam's not much of a drinker."

"Okay....and the kissing started when exactly?"

"She got her award, and when Michael announced it the look on her face was pure surprise, I swear you'd though she'd won the lottery. She ran up there and grabbed the mic from Michael, thank god...and started rambling about God's in Chili's, and I'm like, laughing because even drunk she's just...friggin' amazing..."

"Jim..."

"She runs back over to me, and I go to hug her, because I'm like, glad Michael did what I asked, ya know? He never does what you ask...and I'm hugging her and she's hugging me back and she just looks up and kisses me dead on the lips."

"In front of everyone?"

"Yep. And I don't even know what to do! Should I kiss her back? Push her away because I don't want anyone saying the wrong thing about her to Roy, but then I'm like, fuck Roy, but by then she's back in her seat and I have to figure out what the hell just happened."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing...at least....well she's was kind of drunk for awhile, at the bar, it looked as if she wanted to say something...but then she fell out of the chair and Dwight took his shirt off...not that any of that matters, but then we were outside, right after Chili's banned her forever, and...I swear for like moment before she got in the car, she wanted....to say something."

"Let me guess, she didn't."

"No, she didn't. But I swear she wanted to. I swear if she just...maybe she doesn't and it was just something a really drunk girl does. Randomly makes out with whoever's around."

"Dude...you of all people know, it's not like that."

"((sigh)) I know, Jon. I know."

"Hey, you busy? I just want to ask you something really quick."

"No...just waiting for Lorraine to come over. Hey, did Lisa call you about-?"

"Mom's surprise birthday party? Yeah, she did. And I'm trying to figure out how I became in charge of picking up the cake."

"Quit your whining. I got balloons. You figure out how I can fit 100 balloons in a Nissan Z and then you can whine about cake."

"Yeah it's just that-hold on for a sec, Jon-"

"Sure."

"Mustard, no relish, and no pickles- Okay, I'm back."

"What are you doing?"

"Katy was getting me a burger and I have this thing about having it my way."

"Must be watching your girlish figure. You sound like you're in a good mood. Is Katy coming to Mom's party?"

"Uh... well... um. No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"((whispers)) Can we talk about that later?"

"Sure, I mean, don't you want her to meet Mom and I want to see her. Boy, do I want to see her."

"Shut up. ((long pause)) Okay she went to get some ketchup. Dude, how can you break the Brothers Code of Ethics asking me questions like that when she was sitting here next to me? I'm not bringing her because I just don't want to get too serious right now."

"You've been dating on and off for months."

"If you call that dating. She's coming back now, talk about something else."

"Okay, okay. I know the drill. How was work?"

"Slacked all day. You'd be proud."

"So it was an ordinary day for you."

"Actually, Michael went out finish closing on his condo and Dwight went with him for protection or something. So with no one to prank, I decided to put together all these like little games to play. And thus, Games of the First Dunder-Mifflin Olympiad were born."

"If I didn't know you were getting laid, I would think this was a cry for help."

"It was fun. Everyone was into it. It was originally Pam's idea and we just spun off into different little games around the office for downtime."

"Uh huh. Pam's idea."

"It was. I died of boredom and she got me back up and running with some silly little games. You have no idea how creative she can -Hold on, Jon. Oh, our food's ready. You're gonna get it? Thanks Katy."

"Uh huh."

"She's just going to go get our food."

"Yeah, so you have forty seconds to talk about Pam while she's away."

"Shut up."

"So what games did you play?"

"Dunderball, Skeet Schruting...which was my personal favorite. It involves Dwight's coffee cup and throwing things in it..."

"Did you sell any paper today?"

"Shut.Up."

"Jim, invite Katy to Mom's party."

"Ummm...no and I'm so going to kick your ass for this."

"Jim."

"My food's here, gotta go."

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

"Uh...yeah. Can I speak to Jim Halpert please?"

"I'm sorry, Jim isn't at his desk."

"Weird. I called earlier and no one answered."

"Oh yeah, we had a fire and uh...we were all outside. He stuck around for awhile, because we didn't know when we would be able to come back in. Jim made up some games because we were all bored, and...I'm totally rambling, anyway, he went out to lunch. Would you like to um...leave a message?"

"Oh yeah...It's his brother. Jon."

"Jon? Oh heyyyy. I'm Pam, I don't know if Jim ever mentioned me but-"

"A couple of times... I think. Nice to finally meet you. Well, 'meet' as in over the phone..."

"Ha! Jim's mentioned me...um...uh, he went to lunch with his uh...girlfriend, Katy."

"Okay, well, tell him I called."

"I will."

"Bye Pam. Again, nice talking to you."

"You too. Bye...Jon."

"Happy Halloween, little brother."

"Are you drunk dialing me? That's so...incredibly sad."

"I'm not that drunk."

"You've been to a party, I presume."

"You presume correct...ly. ((pause)) I think."

"Oh. You're clearly wasted. Incredibly sad...big bro."

"Jim?"

"Jon?"

"I think I love Lorraine."

"Ok. So tell her."

"No. No...it's too soon. Plus I don't want to just say it, ya know."

"No, I don't know. You guys have been dating for awhile. You talk about her all the time. When you love someone, you should just say it."

"HA!"

"What?"

"That was cute. Really, really cute."

"What?"

"You don't say it."

"To Katy? No. But I'm not in love with Katy; you're in love with Lorraine thou-"

"You know who I'm talking about."

"Yeah, you're wasted."

"I talked to her. When you had the fire at your job."

"Oh yeah?"

"You were out to lunch with...how'd she put it? You girlfriend, Katy. She seemed a bit put off by it, but maybe I was just hearing things. I was surprised, because I was expecting her voice to sound like heaven's harps floating in my ears. You make her sound so great."

"That's just because she...is."

"Well, she sounds like a regular person to me, but she was nice. She said you kept everyone pretty entertained."

"Yeah...well...she says a lot of things she doesn't mean sometimes."

"Like what?"

"You're way to drunk to have this conversation."

"I'm totally sober."

"And I invented the wheel. But I'll tell you anyway because you probably won't even remember any of this tomorrow. Today...I dunno why it made me so mad, and we totally made up but...earlier today, we were pranking Dwight and posting his resume to Monster.com and stuff, and it was going really great, I almost got him two jobs, one as a hot fog vendor even...but we came across this job at Cumberland Mills in Maryland and well...she said I should take that job."

"What was the job?"

"It was a really great offer actually...more money, near the Chesapeake Bay. Better benefits."

"And she told you to take it?! The nerve!"

"Your sarcasm is unnecessary."

"Off with her head!"

"Whatever. It's just, it made it seem like she could care less if I left. Like...she wouldn't miss me or anything...I dunno...Guess not, she's with Roy, right? I'm only her friend between nine and six."

"Jim, you're seriously fucking up my buzz."

"Sorry. Wouldn't want to ruin your drunkeness."

"You gonna be okay? You said you guys made up?"

"Yeah, I mean, as made up as two people who are just merely work buddies can make up. She said she would...ha...she said she would blow her brains out if I left."

"Isn't that dedicated?"

"She didn't mean it literally."

"I hope not. Uh huh. You're falling, Jim. You're falling hard and you're going to fall so hard, I don't see you getting back up again. This is worse than when you loved that girl Sherry in freshman year. Wonder what she's up to now?"

"Okay. That's the Vodka talking."

"Maybe. But it's true."

"Go have fun with Lorraine. I gotta get out of my three hole punch costume and relax."

"You still do that? You did that last year."

"Bye Jon."