***
“ – and so then he climbed on top of my desk and – oh crap!”
“Jim? Jim, what’s wrong?” Pam could hear heavy footsteps moving quickly, followed by what sounded like a very frustrated groan. She pressed the phone closer to her ear and let her pencil dangle loosely in the air. There were some clanging noises, the faint sound of water running, and a steady stream of mumblings that she couldn’t quite make out but was pretty sure wasn’t meant for more delicate ears.
Pam sighed and looked back down at the half filled sketchpad. The professor had simply said, “Draw a home,” and normally she loved that sort of open-ended assignment. It was a chance to be creative, and try to think out of the box a little.
New York was a good place for that. Years of living in Scranton hadn’t exactly prepared her for the smog of noise and color, or for clicking heels and jostling elbows and being alone and capable. Of course she missed Jim, missed him like crazy till sometimes she had to run out of her tiny apartment and just wander aimlessly to distract herself. But another part of her enjoyed the absolute freedom of a crowded city. She did what she wanted to, when she wanted to, unsheltered and (mostly) unworried. For the first time, Pam really did feel as though she was living like an adult. She’d gone from the safety of her parents’ home to the safety of Roy’s, and finally she was getting to finish what had started all those months ago when she called off the wedding – growing up. Which seemed to make this assignment even harder.
Home wasn’t her parents’ house anymore, comforting as it was, and it certainly wasn’t with Roy. Her apartment in Scranton seemed like the logical choice, but after countless sketches, somehow it simply didn’t feel right. The little apartment was a place of transition, and she loved it – it was where she learned to be independent, where she learned to love Jim – but it had never felt permanent to her. Especially not lately, with the growing surety that the two of them would be making their own home together before long. Finally, she decided to stop thinking too hard about it, and just began to draw. So far it was just a single room with some scattered furniture, but it felt like it was headed somewhere.
“I burned the Hamburger Helper.” Jim’s voice startled her. He sounded like a petulant little kid, and Pam couldn’t help but crack up.
“Oh my God, Halpert,” she said between laughs, “I didn’t even know that was possible. What were you, cooking it on a Foreman?” It felt good to be sitting there on the scratchy carpet, laughing and listening to Jim. She sketched in a doorway to a kitchen, and bit her lip, grinning, as she shaded in a light trail of smoke.
“Wow. Thanks, Beesly. I’ll have you know I used to be a Hamburger Helper gourmet.”
“Sure, Jim, you keep telling yourself that. Seriously, how did you keep from starving all these years?” She drew books and CDs on a coffee table, and an iPod with headphones twisted across a sketchpad.
“I’m telling you Pam, I was a pretty good cook before we started dating. It’s not my fault you’re so damn distracting.” He was back to happy, teasing Jim again, and she wished she could reach out and comb her fingers through his hair. Instead she drew shoes in a corner, small black flip-flops and huge, grungy, untied sneakers.
“Yeah, I bet you made a pretty mean Easy Mac.”
“That’s just cold, Pam. I don't think you understand that microwaving is an art.” He never has been very good at hiding his laughter, and the rumble of it sets off little sunbursts in her stomach. “Besides, you gotta make a choice, Beesly. It’s either my cooking skills or my loving skills.”
“Ooh, loving skills, absolutely.”
“See, this works out perfectly. You take care of the cooking, and I’ll take care of the loving. Win-win-win.”
Pam giggled as she switched to the speakerphone, stretching out onto her stomach and curling her toes.
“So you find me…distracting?” she asked slyly, pitching her voice low and letting the words roll off her tongue. She drew half-full mugs of coffee and a candy dish.
His reply was immediate. “So distracting. Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Try me.”
“Um…wow. Ok, well, like just now, we were talking, and I was watching the stove, but then I started thinking about how happy you sounded, and that made me think about how I can tell from your voice exactly how you’re feeling, and how I love the way you laugh and how you sound when we wake up in the morning –”
“Oh, Jim –”
“ – and then I start thinking about why you sound the way you do when you wake up, and it’s usually because of the night before, and once I start thinking about that I’m pretty much done for.” He paused and took a deep breath. “And that’s why I burned the Hamburger Helper.”
Pam couldn’t decide whether she wanted to laugh or cry. “I really, really, really want to kiss you right now.” She drew a striped polo draped over the arm of the couch, and a soft sweater crumpled on the seat next to it.
“Arrgh, Beesly, I swear you are going to break me. My dinner is ruined and my girlfriend is a tease. I am so not buying you a farm anymore.”
“I love you.”
“I know,” Jim groaned. “That’s what makes this so hard!”
“That’s what she said!” Pam cried out gleefully.
“Oh my God, I’m over here pouring my pathetic little heart out and you’re channeling Michael?? I’m not sure how much of this I can take.”
“Did I mention I love you?” she asked sweetly, fixing the shading on the bookshelf and smoothing out the heavy paper.
“Not helping. I want you home. Now.”
She heard him laugh ruefully, tried to picture the wry expression on his face. She let herself imagine leaning against him and wrapping her arms around his waist as he held her close. Imagined him pressing his lips to the top of her head as she traced her name on his skin with her fingers, claiming each other for good. She looked down at her drawing, so simple and natural and yet so full of their life together. Home seemed like a good place to be.
“Soon. I’ll be home really, really soon.”
***
Author's Chapter Notes:
I actually hadn't planned to write any further, but there you have it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed - very, very encouraging :D.
Chapter End Notes:
Maybe I'll keep going?
