* * *
“What else?” she egged him on, pulling away strands of hair as she reclined back on the plush sofa.
“Let’s see…I miss playing connect-the-dots with the freckles on your back.”
“And?” she prompted.
“I miss the way you grin when I kiss you, like you’ve just figured out the most amazing secret.”
“That’s because I have,” she giggled.
“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” she answered primly, winding her fingers around the loose threads of the pillowcase.
“Does finding out involve more kissing? Because then I definitely wouldn’t mind.”
She pretended to think for a moment. “Yes, I think more kissing is probably the answer.”
“More kissing is always the answer, Beesly.”
“Really? That’s a pretty broad statement you’re making there. Does this apply to situations involving Dwi-”
“I swear, if you finish that statement, I will throw myself in front of a car.”
“Such a drama queen.” She mocked him as slid off the couch, padding to kitchen to rummage for food.
“Careful there, Beesly. I gave you that ring on your finger and I can take it away.”
Pam paused, stepping back from the cabinet and leaning on the cracked mica countertop. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oooh, now you’re scared.” he teased, smugness apparent even over the telephone.
“Really, now, Jim? As the more experienced partner in this relationship, I think you might have a thing or two to learn about engagement breaking. I already know exactly how to handle it, thank you very much.”
“So you’ve learned from your mistakes, then.”
“Yep. Next time I’ll be sure to drive immediately to my best friend’s doorstep, proclaim my love for him, and run away to Vegas,” she answered, not missing a beat as she pulled down a saucepan and a can of soup.
“Next time? I thought I was the one doing the engagement breaking.”
“Jim,” she dragged out with exaggerated patience, “let the experts handle it, ok? As an amateur, you’d just get hurt.” The gas hissed and she waited for the click of the striker before the burner came to life, little blue flames dancing in a neat circle. All she could hear was Jim’s quiet breathing. “What, can’t think of a snappy comeback?” she teased, a touch of unease straining her voice.
“Don’t joke about that,” he said finally, voice muffled and low.
“You started it,” she shot back.
“I know, but just – don’t, ok? I don’t like hearing you say it. I don’t even want to think about.”
The pain sparked in her heart and rushed out like poison in her blood. “Jim, c’mon,” she started weakly. Pam turned off the stove and hoisted herself onto the counter, leaning her head sideways to come to rest on the refrigerator. Its steady hum seemed to vibrate through her entire body, rattling her teeth and making her fingertips itch.
“Don’t ever leave me, ok? Just…don’t. Because I think it might kill me.”
“I marrying you, you idiot,” she replied shrilly, worry making her unable to control her voice.
“I know! But promise me, promise me you won’t ever leave me.”
“Never.” She said fiercely. “Never in a million years.”
“Good. Though you know, I wouldn’t let you.”
“I wouldn’t try.”
“Even if you wanted to.”
“I wouldn’t want to.”
“Even if –“ he faltered for a second, before rushing to finish. “Even if you didn’t love me anymore.”
“Jim?”
“Yeah?”
“Remember I told you I didn’t want a long engagement?”
“Yeah,” he answered cautiously.
“It’s not just because of Roy or anything in my past. It’s because I’ve already decided that I want you to have every single part of me I can give you, and I want you and everyone else in the world to know that as soon as possible. Things are so clear for me now. I know what I want, Jim. I didn’t for a long time, I’ll admit that, but you gave me the courage to figure it out and to fight for it. And I want you.” Her palms were sweaty now, and she wiped them on the rough denim of her jeans. “I want you, I want us, and I want that for the rest of our lives. That’s not changing.”
“Even if I proposed to you in a gas station?”
“Especially because you proposed to me in a gas station,” she laughed weakly, relief making her a little limp.
“Ok,” he agreed, a little solemnly. “So we’re on for Vegas, then?”
“No!”
“Only the finest Elvis impersonator, I promise.”
“Absolutely not.”
“I’ll wear a kilt.”
“Really? I mean, no. No way.”
“Fine. I’ll just have to get you drunk and carry you off.”
“There’s nothing sexy about kidnapping, Jim.”
“So difficult, Beesly.”
“That’s why you love me,” she teased happily.
“Go figure,” he chuckled. “Looks like you're right.”
* * *
Author's Chapter Notes:
Goodness, it's been a while hasn't it? I was suddenly hit by the writing bug (after a certain long-awaited proposal) so it looks like this piece still has a little life left. Maybe not much, but we'll see how far I can take it. Title from Vampire Weekend's "Bryn".
Chapter End Notes:
Yeah, JAM makes me a little emotional. As always, thanks for readiing!
