“De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da”

A few weeks later, as Kevin knocked on the door to Michael’s office, he saw Dwight wearing an odd white suit with a veiled hood and a pair of brown leather gloves.

Michael was shaking his head. “Dwight, why are you dressed like a beekeeper?”

Dwight glanced down at his ridiculous outfit, his voice muffled through the netting that covered the mask. “One word:  Protection.  My aunt and uncle let me borrow it. They make excellent beet honey. Anyway Michael, I’m serious. Jim emailed me and said that the Stamford building failed an inspection for asbestos. We need to contact Billy Merchant and have our building checked. This place is a breeding ground for diseases.”

Michael rolled his eyes toward the camera with an incredulous sigh. “Dwight, the business park was built in 1989. It doesn’t have asbestos. Besides, what are you worried about? Don’t you have superior genes or some kind of crap like that?”

“True, true. Very perceptive of you, Michael.” Dwight replied as he removed the beekeeping hat. He, however, kept the leather gloves on. He coolly regarded the accountant leaning against the door. “Oh hello, Kevin.”

Kevin stepped through the door. “Michael, can I talk to you?”

“Sure, Kevinator. Dwight, do you mind?”

“I think I should stay, as Assistant Regional Manager. I need to stay abreast of anything that happens in this office.” Kevin stifled a laugh. Dwight had said “a breast”!

Kevin took a deep breath, before speaking. “Well, I would like to give my two week’s notice. My band has been offered the chance to go on a huge concert tour and its an opportunity I can’t pass up.”

Michael nodded, “As a fellow entertainer, I understand and support your decision.” Before Kevin could say anything else, the phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, Michael quickly answered, “Oh, hello, Madame Levinson, what can I do you today?”

Jan’s frustrated voice filled the room. “Are you alone? I need to speak with you, privately.” Michael nodded for the other two men to leave the room, mouthing “Its about our relationship.” Just as Kevin exited, he heard Jan say, “And turn the speaker phone off, for goodness sake.”

An hour later, Michael called a meeting in the conference room. Kevin assumed it was to announce his departure.

“Gang, I have two big announcements. Buckle your seatbelts, its going to be a bumpy ride. Hands and feet in the car. Watch-”

“Just tell us the damn announcement already,” Stanley interrupted, a scowl forming on his face.

“Well, first, our very own Kevin Malone will be leaving us in two weeks. His dreams of becoming a rock star are coming true and he’s going on the road with his Genesis cover band.”

“The Police,” Kevin interjected.

Michael looked quizzically. “Why is your Genesis cover band called The Police?”

“No, we-” but Michael began clapping his hands before Kevin could finish speaking. The rest of the office applauded as well. Oscar gave him a high-five while Phyllis and Kelly noticeably wiped away tears.

Dwight stood up, still wearing the pair of leather gloves. “Wait! What’s the second announcement about? Is this about the asbestos contamination? As Assistant Regional Manager, I need to know everything before the rest of the office does. Whisper it in my ear, Michael.”

Michael continued, “I will not whisper in your ear, you idiot!” Dwight sheepishly sat down. “The next announcement is that the Stamford branch is being downsized and incorporated into our branch.”

Toby stood up, “Michael, you weren’t supposed to announce this until tomorrow. Corporate-”

Michael interrupted Toby as if he weren’t even in the room. “Like I was saying, members of the Stamford branch will be joining our ranks in two weeks. Andy is an accountant and will be replacing the Kev Meister. Also, some Karen chick will be joining us. I don’t really know what she does. Unfortunately, Josh Porter will be moving here as well as my assistant.”

“Actually, he’ll be co-Regional manager,” added Toby.

“Whatever. Anyway, and to add to the excitement, our very own little Jimmy Halpert will be returning. The heartbreaker, right Pam?” Pam’s face had lost all color. Everyone looked sympathetically at her. Next to her, Meredith placed a comforting arm around her shoulder.

Kevin zoned out as the room erupted in a dozen voices speaking at once. All he could think of was the fact that he would be an accountant-turned-rock star in a little over two weeks. Maybe he should go ahead and compose his Grammy acceptance speech.