It was shocking how quickly Jim’s health deteriorated after only a week. The slightest movement knocked the breath out of him and the faint blue tint of his lips was incredibly bright in contrast to his white skin. He would stay awake for a short time before drifting off to sleep and could no longer stay awake for visitors.
Pam could not handle the image of the man she loved ill and so out of it from pain medications. She spent as much time as she could with him, holding his hand and either reading or watching television quietly.
“Hey,” She jumped at the sound of his whispered voice and sat up straighter. “What’s up? How long have I been asleep?”
“Uh, about forty minutes,” Pam smiled as Jim blinked bleary green eyes. “How do you feel?”
She waited for the answer and frowned when she realized that he had drifted off again. Pam gently shook his shoulder and he snapped awake.
“Sorry, I’m just tired,” He mumbled. “I’ve been feeling worse.” A spark of hopelessness flashed through his eyes and Pam recognized the same expression he wore when he had accepted his inevitable death.
“Don’t do that,” Pam mumbled and his eyes narrowed slightly in confusion. “You can’t for a moment start doubting. Please.”
“I promised you I wouldn’t,” Jim whispered, exhausted. “But you have to understand that everyday is harder than the last. I’m in so much pain and am so tired and the idea of staying in this place is unbearable.”
“Will you marry me?” Pam said suddenly, smiling at the shocked expression on Jim’s face. “At least after you get the transplant. You can’t give up if we’ve got wedding plans to make and a wedding to look forward to.”
After a moment of silence, Jim’s face split into a grin. “My my Beesly, bribing me to make me get better. Who thought you would sink so low?”
“What can I say, I got desperate,” Pam grinned. “But what do you say?”
“You were serious?” Jim’s smiled completely faded. “Well, considering that was supposed to be the question I was supposed to ask. I’ve just not been able to go ring shopping; I’ve been rather busy. But yes, I guess I will marry you, if you’ll marry me?”
“Yes,” Pam grinned, tears building up in her eyes as she leaned in to kiss him. “Let’s get married.”
“This wasn’t the way I thought it would be. I was going to ask when I got better but this lovely hospital environment is perfect. Let’s get jell-o to celebrate!” Jim’s eyes lit up.
“Actually Dwight sent over some deer jerky if your feeling adventurous,” Pam waggled her eyebrows and pulled out a plastic bag full of jerky.
“Let’s stick with jell-o,” Jim said, disgusted.
Pam grinned, giving him another kiss before walking out of the room. She went to the nurse’s station and opened the small fridge, debating between blue and red.
“Cardiac care unit,” Susan answered the phone behind her. “Fantastic! I’ll alert them right away!”
Pam stood up, finally deciding on two cups of red jell-o.
“There’s a heart!” Susan said happily, grabbing Pam’s hand. “It’s being prepped for surgery and the surgeons are coming up to get Jim ready.”
She quickly began to make more calls and was scribbling wildly on a pad of paper. Pam stood behind Susan, forgotten cups of jell-o in her hands.
Her heart pounded wildly as she watched one of the doctors on call walk into Jim’s room. He glanced up from the magazine she had brought him that morning and smiled slightly at the doctor. Pam could not hear what they were saying but saw Jim’s eyes widen and a grin spread across his face.
She hurried into the room, grabbing his hand and enjoying the huge smile on his face. That perfect moment of solitude was shattered when nurses and doctors rushed into the room, doing tests and bringing consent forms.
“Your family has been informed and they’re on their way,” a social worker named Gene announced with a tired smile. “The operating room is being prepped as we speak so you have a little time. Your family can spend a few short minutes with you before you go into surgery. I’ll leave you two alone.”
With a small smile, the social worker stepped into the hallway. Pam squeezed Jim’s hand trying to keep tears at bay. He had several new IV’s placed and his chest was painted orange with an antibiotic.
“You look like you’re going to a sports game,” She whispered, grinning.
“Thanks Beesly,” Jim chuckled, rubbing his thumb against the back of her hand.
“I’m scared,” She whispered, tears gliding down her face. “I know I shouldn’t be, that you’ll be fine, but I’m terrified. I can’t help but think that you’ll go sleep and never wake up.”
Jim sat in silence for a few moments before pulling her towards him and kissing her gently. He pressed his forehead to hers and they closed their eyes, just absorbing the feeling of being together.
“I love you,” He mumbled and Pam felt another swell of tears build up in her throat. “I love you and I don’t want to leave you. You are the reason I wanted to keep going and the only thing that is going to get me through this operation is the thought that I’m going to marry you.”
She sniffed and kissed him again, squeezing his hand tightly. They could hear the sound of hurried footsteps in the hallway and she leaned back.
Jim’s family rushed into the room, Larissa wrapped her arms around her youngest son’s neck and sobbed. Pam felt slightly smothered and stood up from her chair. She moved to the back of the room, smiling slightly at Tom who nodded back, tears shining in his eyes.
“And we’ll be in the waiting room the whole time,” Larissa continued to sob, hugging Jim tightly. “You’ll be fine, don’t you worry.”
“I know mom,” Jim smiled at Pam and rubbed his mother’s back. “I’ll be fine. The doctor said I’ll be able to see everyone pretty soon after the surgery.”
Larissa nodded, stepping backwards to stand with Jim’s father, wiping her watery eyes. A tall graying man in green scrubs stepping into the room, several nurses also waited outside the room.
“Alright,” The doctor smiled. “I’m Dr. Lessman, we spoke earlier. I’m the anesthesiologist who’s going to be with you during the surgery. Are you ready to go back?”
Jim took a deep breath and nodded, smiling at Pam faintly.
“Julian here is going to take your family back to the waiting room,” Dr. Lessman nodded at an older woman in brightly colored scrubs. “You can have one person walk back with you to the doors of the operation room if you’d like.”
“Pam, would you?” Jim asked softly and suddenly all eyes were on her. Pam nodded slowly and followed the bed as it was wheeled out to the hallway.
She grabbed his hand, fighting back tears.
“I’m really looking forward to a burger and fries,” Jim said dreamily. “I used to eat them all the time and it was too much sodium to eat. We need to go get burgers when I get the all clear.”
“We can get milkshakes too,” A huge grin spread across his face and he kissed her palm.
“It’s a date,” He mumbled.
“I’m sorry miss,” One of the nurses said apologetically. “But you can’t go any farther.”
Pam glanced up to see the huge doors and felt her breath catch in her throat. Frightened tears trickled down her face and she felt his fingers brush them away.
“I’m going to be okay,” His whispered, pressing his lips to hers. “Please don’t worry, please. Everything is going to be okay.”
“I know,” She whispered back before standing up and wiping her wet cheeks. “Alright, so I’ll see you in a little while.”
“It’s a date,” He grinned at her, squeezed her hand, and the nurse led her to the waiting room.
He was pushed through the doors and his confident smile vanished. Jim’s throat closed up with fear and it suddenly felt like everything was going too fast.
“Hey Jim,” He recognized Chris behind the surgical mask. “It’s the big day!”
“Yeah,” Jim gave him a nervous smile as he was helped to the surgical table. His eyes quickly roamed the room and he froze when he saw the small cooler sitting on a nearby table.
“Alright,” Dr. Lessman pulled on a surgical mask and nodded at him. “Can you lean back? I’m just going to place this mask on your face and you should go out pretty quickly. Just count down from ten. See you in a little while.”
Jim nodded and winced at the bright lights in the room. He felt the mask close over his nose and mouth, a sweet smell overwhelming him with drowsiness.
“Ten…nine…eight…sev…” And then everything went black.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali