It's a late and lazy morning. One of those days when he considers calling in sick just because. Because it's Thursday and he was up until two last night. Because Good Morning America just isn't providing motivation enough to face the world today. But mostly because she's back with him and there is absolutely nothing he can do about it.

But calling in sick isn't really an option. It never has been. Because that would mean talking to Pam. And even if she is back with Roy, she'd still have all kinds of questions. She'd be all concerned about what he might be "coming down with" and there would be anecdotes about her neighbor's best friend's sister who had caught something the week before and how now "it's probably going around" and maybe that's what he has.

And the whole time he would have to lie to her about his symptoms because his real symptoms: insomnia, loss of appetite, and massive-headache-inducing confusion aren't any more explainable to Pam this morning than they have been to Karen all week.

Besides, missing work would only make things worse. He finds it funny in that not-at-all funny way that he's almost always preferred to be around her to witness the tragedy of her being with Roy rather than running away to pretend it isn't happening.

("Almost always" because yes, there was a point when he just couldn't take it any more, but apparently that point has passed and now he feels like he's back exactly where he was a year ago. Only now there's Karen instead of the semi-steady stream of pointless first dates to distract him from the only person he's ever really loved.)

And what a sappy thought to have at 7:35 AM as he's brushing his teeth, right? He points this out to himself with a half-grimace half-smile in the mirror. It doesn't work so well with a mouth full of toothpaste flavored spit.

Half an hour later he's walking in the door and there she is. She looks pretty in more than her usual way. Beautiful actually. He wonders if there's some special occasion she's dressing up for, and then he guesses that maybe she just likes to dress up for Roy now. Because Roy is her boyfriend and that's the sort of thing she would do for her boyfriend.

He spends a few seconds staring at her while he's hanging up his coat. Karen's car wasn't in the parking lot yet when he arrived, and Pam's on the phone, so he knows he can get away with it. And then he thinks about how stupid it is that he has to be this covert. But he does, because technically Karen knows how he feels about Pam. And for the life of him he can't figure out how she can know and still not really know. Apparently all those years of practice in hiding his feelings from the important people (or rather the important person) in his life are paying off.

So he sits down for another day. A few minutes later Karen walks in. They exchange good mornings and kisses and then there's nothing to do but pretend to work and pretend even harder that he's okay.

***

Something's up with Jim. Pam knows it, but she can't do anything about it. Partly because he's not hers to take care of anymore, not that he ever was, but... whatever, he sort of was... a little bit... a long time ago. And partly because she's not supposed to be noticing stuff like this any more.

That was one of the main reasons for getting back with Roy actually. Roy is a great distraction. He's totally into her and that's nice, but mostly he's someone to take care of. Someone she's allowed to think about whenever she wants to. And it doesn't hurt that when Roy kisses her now he does it deeply, with more passion than he's shown since they were in high school.

She wonders if this is the story she'll be telling their daughter someday. Something like "Once upon a time in high school we were in love and everything was perfect because he was so popular and I was so amazed when he noticed me, and then we grew up a bit and for a little while I got confused and I thought I loved someone else but I was wrong, I really loved your dad the whole time."

It's a cute story with a nice and tidy happy ending. And part of her really wants it to be true. And another part of her wonders if she'll tell it anyway, just because it sounds nice.

***

It's not like she can't see it. He's in one of his funks again. But he gets this way. Kind of a lot, in fact. And though Jim is great and they have a lot of fun together, Karen knows she can't let herself become responsible for keeping him happy all the time.

What he really needs is to pull himself together. She's tried to help, but there's only so much a girlfriend can do, right? As much as she might love him... if she loves him (and at this point she'd prefer not to know one way or the other because the advantages of ignorance are many and include a rational reason to ignore so many things that she just doesn't have the energy to deal with right now.) But anyway, as much as she might love him, he has to be the one to initiate this.

He can snap out of it any time he wants. She's shown him how. Now he just has to choose to do it.

She hopes he will soon.

She has to hope it. Otherwise this whole thing has just been completely pointless.

And it would really suck to suddenly find out that she's been doing something totally pointless, especially when she's been doing it for months.

***

Things are different between them now. Pam is different. She's demanding things, but she's also dressing a lot better. Roy actually likes this side of her. He's not sure he really understands what her deal is now, but he'd like to know. And underneath it all she's still the same Pam she's always been. She's still there for him. And that means a lot, you know?

He doesn't know what he'd do without her in his life.