Whoever said contractions were like intense period cramps was a fucking liar.

Pam's body was in shock.  She had been in pain many times in her life.  Burns, cuts, scrapes.  Hell, she had even broken her leg when she was 9.  What her body was going through at this moment had no frame of reference.  Every inch of her ached and battled for the baby that was about to come into the world.

She had reacted very well to the pitocin.  Too well.  Liz had to lower the dose to slow things down and this gave Pam a small break and some breathing space.  But when the contractions did come, there was no yelling or screaming as the pain took over her mind, body and voice.  Her only constant, the anchor that kept her tethered to reality, was Jim.  His right hand became the most important piece of equipment to help her through the contractions.  As each wave came, they locked hands and she transferred her body's distress to him.  At times she worried that his fingers might break, but he never uttered a cry.  He spoke when she needed to hear words of encouragement and silent when she craved peace.

Jim knew Pam did not want an epidural.  She read something about a woman being paralysed after having one and also saw the size of the needle they used and that sealed the deal.  But seeing her writhe in pain and look at him like a trapped animal made him feel like they should both be numb from the waist down.  Pam was in between contractions when Nurse Liz asked her to decide on an epidural.  She looked at him, confused and conflicted.

“I don't know, how dilated am I now?”

“5 centimeters,” Liz stated.

“So five more...,” she sighed.

“Yep.”

She looked at Jim, her eyelids heavy, hair matted with sweat around her face and brow.  He reached out and cupped the side of her face with his hand.  His thumb softly stroked her cheek as they looked at each other for guidance.

“I will support whatever you decide, Pam.  You have to go with your gut on this one.  You have been amazing so far without anything.”

Pam continued to lay collapsed against her pillow and steeled herself to make a decision.  The thought of a large needle going in between the disks of her spine frightened her more than the next contraction.  Also, she had read somewhere that it slowed down labor.  Pam wanted to get through this as quickly as possible.  She looked back into Jim's eyes.  Again, those eyes.  Those eyes that had made her laugh, challenged her about her choices and declared his undying love.  Those eyes which were now holding her up and supporting her through pain.

She could do this.  With Jim by her side she could do anything.

“I can do 5 more,” she whispered.

“Okay...okay,” he said as he leaned into her, placing a delicate kiss on the top of her head.

The break in contractions soon ended.  Pam huffed and curled her body onto her side and once again gripped Jim's hand.  Each breath-catching moment was shortening as her body and the medication worked in tandem to bring on a fast and furious labor.  Low, thick moans spilled from her mouth.  Contractions were falling on top of each other and sweat dripped from every pour.  She rocked and twisted inward when the hardest one hit.

“Pam?! Pam?” Nurse Liz spoke loudly.  “I'm going to check you now to see how far along you are.  I think it might be time.”

Pam showed no signs of hearing Liz as she ravaged through her contraction.  Jim went close to her ear and whispered, “Pam.  You need to go on your back.  Liz is going to check you, okay?”

Pam could hear his voice, but it was muffled and distorted, as though she was hearing it from underwater.

“Bees, Liz is going to check you.”

Hearing her nickname brought her back into the room.  She slowly rolled flat on her back as Liz examined her.

“Wow, okay, you are 10 centimeters and the baby is in position.  Gabby, can you call Dr. McKendrick?”  The assisting nurse left the room quickly as Liz went to the other side of Pam and held her hand.

“Pam?  It's time to start pushing.  You're going to have to listen hard now.  Dr. McKendrick is going to let you know when to push and when to stop.  You are going to feel the urge to constantly push, but the doctor will guide you, okay?”

Dr. McKendrick soon came into the room dressed in scrubs.  “All right, so I hear we're ready to push this little one out.  Let's get things prepped Liz.”

Jim watched Liz ready the bassinet area and the reality of what was happening hit fast and hard.  This was it.  In minutes there would be a baby in this room.  Their baby.  He continued to hold Pam's hand and began to tremble.

“Okay, Pam?” Dr. McKendrick asked calmly, “I want you to pull your legs all the way back.  Jim, Liz, help her out.  That's it, knees right back to her ears, and give me a nice, slow push.”

“That's it, oh God Pam, you are doing so well.  You can do this,” Jim softly praised in her ear.

“That's it...that's it.  Great,”  Dr. McKendrick approved.  “Okay, now stop for a minute.”

Pam exhaled and turned to make eye contact with Jim.  Her face was brick red and glistening.  There was so much she wanted to say but the words could not form on her lips.  How it hurt and it burned and how she wished he could take just take over for a bit.  He swept a stray strand of hair off her forehead.  “She's almost here.  You are doing amazing.”

“Alright, another big one Pam.  Let's go,” the doctor asked.

The next ten minutes was full of sweat, burning and fury.  She could feel the end was near, but was so focused on following the doctor's orders and throwing her whole body into pushing.

The pressure and the pain was at its peak when the doctor exclaimed, “The head is out Pam.  Just one more push and we'll get the shoulders out.”

She took a deep breath in and channeled the last of the strength and power in her to push her baby into the world.  The shoulders slipped out and she went limp.  A wave of relief washed over her body.

Slowly, quietly, she attempted to catch her breath and then she heard Jim's voice tremor, “Oh my God!  Oh my...Pam.  Look!”

She looked down between her legs and saw a small, red, wriggling baby.  As she swept her eyes across every inch of the new life in front of her, her gaze rested on one spot.

“Oh, my...” she gasped.

Nurse Liz was the first one to say it.  “Well, it looks like you've got another surprise with this delivery.  It's a boy!”

“A boy?!” Jim cried while running his hand through his hair, staring at his new son.

“A Benjamin,” Pam quietly beamed.  Their eyes met through tears and he nodded.  “We have a Benjamin, Jim.”

They had talked about a boy's name early on in her pregnancy and had settled on Benjamin for a boy and Emily for a girl.  But when they heard from their ultrasound technician that it was a girl, the little boy that they pictured drifted away and was replaced with an Emily.  It had been months since they had settled on the name Ben, but with one look at their little boy they knew it was a name that was destined for him.

His loud wail broke their silent disbelief and Pam began to giggle as Liz took him to the side to get weighed and cleaned up.

“6 pounds, 10 ounces,” she declared.

“Wow, that's bigger than we thought,” Pam said with amazement.

“Just think if he was left in there another 5 weeks...,” Jim wondered.

“No, I do not want to think about that,” she grimaced.

“Well Mommy, are you ready to hold your son?” Liz gingerly placed baby Ben in Pam's arms.

“Yes.”

“Hi Ben,” she quietly squealed.  “Oh God, Jim, look at him.”  Tears streamed down her face and she could not tear her gaze away from him.

Him.  A boy.  It was a surprise and it wasn't.  Of course they were expecting a girl.  The technician said, “If I were to say what it is, I would say it's a girl.”  That sounded like “It's a girl” to them.  But to see him cradled in Pam's arms squirming and blinking it was like there was never any doubt that he was meant to be.  For Jim, it was love at first sight...again.

“He's beautiful,” Jim's voice cracked as he reached out to stroke the small lock of hair peeking out of the top of the blanket.  “Oh man, I think he has my hair.”

They both burst into laughter.  Minutes ago Pam was grappling with the worst pain she had ever experienced, but now her body tingled with joy.  She gazed into the helpless eyes of her baby boy and felt euphoria and a peace within her that she had never felt.  It was as if a call had been answered and she had finally found her place in the world.  She was a mother, now and forever.  Her time had arrived.