Heaven was not anything like Pam had expected. She was going off of paintings of a cloud kingdom where winged people in white robes lived peacefully.
Instead, she lived in this old farmhouse that looked out over fields of wheat. According to Julia, it was exactly like the one she had lived in as a little girl. She had to admit that it was peaceful but after a day, Pam was bored out of her mind.
“So, this is the afterlife?” She asked. “Sitting in a farmhouse?”
“Oh no,” Julia laughed, putting down her knitting. “You can choose heaven to be whatever you want it to be. I just loved this house so much. Sometimes other people come by to visit and eventually, you move on to your own paradise.”
“Oh,” Pam turned to her tea and sighed. “Can I go see Jim?”
“I suppose,” Julia nodded, not looking up from her knitting. Pam stood and after putting the teacup in the kitchen, walked to the front door. She thought of her husband and opened the door, stepping into the blinding light.
She suddenly felt soft grass under her feet and sunlight on her face. Wherever Jim was, he was outside.
When her vision came back to her she instantly realized where she was. An icy feeling overwhelmed her when she saw that gravestones surrounded her.
A small crowd was at the other end of the cemetery and she froze when she noticed several people from the office standing in the crowd. Pam stepped around several people when she saw the casket.
It was a beautiful cherry wood, covered in flowers but what really amazed her was the collection of her paintings that surrounded the casket. The preacher continued to speak and she scanned the crowd, finally seeing who she was looking for.
Jim was sitting in the front row, twisting his wedding ring on his finger. He was staring intently at the painting in front of him, eyes red-rimmed.
“Oh Jim,” Pam breathed, kneeling down next to his chair. She tried to reach out and touch his hand and let out a soft sob when it just passed through. A sudden rush of air made her realize that someone was standing where she was.
Pete kneeled down next to his brother and wrapped an arm around his shoulder and hugged him slightly. Usually, whenever the Halpert brothers showed affection it was one bringing the other into a rough hug while the other struggled away. Now, Jim allowed himself to almost collapse into his brother’s side.
The pure sorrow and grief radiating from Jim’s eyes made her quickly glance away. She tried to rest her hand on his other shoulder but it went unnoticed.
“I’m right here,” She whispered, but his red-rimmed eyes were locked on her casket. “Please Jim, see me.”
Pam was not sure if it was proper funeral etiquette to stay for your own burial but could not bring herself to leave. When the coffin began to lower itself into the ground, tears slowly trailed down Jim’s face.
“God,” He let out the softest groan, leaning further into his brother who tightened his grip.
The funeral party continued into a reception hall, speaking softly about the ‘lovely ceremony’.
“I’ve heard that he may not keep the baby,” A young woman who Pam did not recognize whispered. “Apparently, he refuses to look at her or take care of her. He’s a complete wreck.”
“Are you serious?” Michael whispered back loudly from where he was standing behind the woman. “Jim is giving up the baby?”
The older man did not even wait for the reply as he stomped over to Jim who was nodding mechanically at whatever an elderly man was saying.
“What the hell man?” Michael said loudly, getting several stares. “You’re giving up the baby?”
“Excuse me?” Jim said, the soft defeated tone still there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You heard me,” Michael seemed close to hysterics, voice cracking. “People are talking about how you’re going to give up Eleanor.”
“Listen,” Jim’s face hardened and his eyes flashed. “Ellie is all I have left. I would never give her up. For once, think before you talk and don’t spout off whatever goes into your tiny brain.”
Jim turned on his heel and quickly walked away, trying to ignore the sudden silence and blank face of Michael Scott. He continued through the reception hall and walked through the doors until he got to the outside patio.
The salesman sunk down onto a bench and allowed his head to fall into his hands. He let out a long, harsh sigh and rubbed at the back of his head.
“Jim?” Larissa Halpert called as she stepped outside, smoothing out her black dress. “Are you alright dear?”
“No,” Jim shook his head. “I’m not. Could you please leave? I really want to be alone right now.”
“Okay,” Larissa’s green eyes filled with tears. “Do you want to feed Ellie? She needs to eat and I don’t mind doing it but I thought you would want to.”
That was when Jim noticed that she was pushing a stroller with one hand and holding a baby bag in the other. Ellie was dressed in a black dress with white lace trim and had a pink bow in her hair.
“I’ll do it,” He gently pulled the baby out of her stroller and straightened her clothes. “Thanks mom.”
“Call if you need anything,” She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. She squeezed her youngest’s shoulder before going back inside.
Jim quickly reached into the baby bag and pulled out a bottle, feeding the hungry baby. Ellie drank from the bottle deeply, squirming only slightly.
“She’s gorgeous,” Pam whispered gently, reaching out and touching the baby’s cheek, thrilled at actually touching a human being. The baby jerked and in return spat milk all over Jim.
“Oh,” Jim jumped slightly, grabbing at the cloth in the bag, wiping the milk off himself and the sniffling baby. “So, now we know to lay down the cloth when we eat. See Ellie, I’m getting this.”
He tickled the baby’s chin, which stopped quivering, and she continued to drink. For the first time that day, a small smile spread across Jim’s face and he stared adoringly down at the little girl.
Pam slowly stretched out her hand and stroked her child’s tiny fingers. Ellie gripped her fingers tightly and stared at Pam.
Jim’s soft smile slid off his face and he stared curiously at the tiny fist forming around air. He gently reached down and squeezed the baby’s hand. Pam watched as Jim’s fingers slid right through hers and she moved away.
Pam stared intently at her husband’s face. He looked completely exhausted, dark circles under his eyes standing out against pale skin. She reached a shaky hand up to his cheek and let out a sigh when it passed through again.
“Please Jim,” She whispered, knowing he could not hear her. “Smile, be happy. I can’t stand to see you so upset.”
Ellie instantly reacted to her mother’s voice, waving her tiny fists. Jim gently bounced the baby and rubbed her back.
“Yeah, I’ll get this, don’t worry,” He mumbled, kissing her forehead. “I’ll get this eventually.”
Pam felt almost as if she was interrupting a private moment and stepped back. Giving her husband one last look she allowed the bright light to consume her and found herself opening the door to the farmhouse.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali