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TALKING HEADS
MAY 1, 2011
CONFERENCE ROOM
PAM
Yes, we’ve been walking together at lunch three days a week for a couple of months now.
[pauses briefly]
See, ever since Cece was born, it’s been hard for us to get any…exercise…so we’ve decided to do it…
[frowns briefly]
...um…skip lunch and walk together three days a week.
JIM
Yeah, it’s really hard because we want to spend as much time as we can with Cece at night, but by the time we get her to sleep and get all our other stuff done, well, neither of us really has the energy to…exercise.
[nods his head earnestly]
PAM
We tried getting up early to do it, but we always managed to wake up Cece before we got done.
[she adds quickly]
Exercising.
JIM
And then she was cranky all day.
[makes a “Yikes” camera face]
Cece, I mean.
PAM
[letting that remark slide]
Sometimes my mom keeps her for awhile on the weekend, but there’s laundry and bills and the grocery shopping – a lot of stuff has to get done.
JIM
We think this is an efficient way to…um…keep healthy.
[pauses a moment]
Where do we walk? Oh, it varies. On the weather. We like to change it up.
camera points at the black pumps on Pam’s feet.
PAM
Oh, um, yeah, I keep a pair of sneakers in…
[looks around the room with a searching expression and then finds her words]
… in our car.
JIM
Me, too.
[nods a little too eagerly]
In our car.
[hesitates]
Shoes.
INDIVIDUAL TALKING HEADS
CONFERENCE ROOM
DARRYL
Sometimes Jim and Pam go down to the warehouse to uh
[smiles]
walk. I’ve told the crew down there not to bother them. It’s cool. Do unto others, you know?
[tilts his head and shrugs]
ANDY:
[completely clueless]
Sure I know Jim and Pam have been walking lately.
[Seems unsure]
A lot.
I’m thinking about walking too because it really seems to have helped Tuna’s concentration at work. He’s killing in sales. And he's happy all the time.
[looks puzzled]
I wonder if they’d tell me their regimen?
ERIN
[bubbly]
I think it’s nice that Jim and Pam walk together, don’t you? I mean, it’s really important to exercise as you get older.
GABE
Sabre strongly encourages physical fitness for all of their employees. So yes, I think it’s a great idea. Why should I have a problem with it?
[looks puzzled and slightly irritated]
MEREDITH
Yeah, I know that Jim and Pam are BLEEPing three times a week at work. [scoffs]
That’s nothing, I once did two a days for a solid week with
[screen goes black]
PHYLLIS
I’m not going to say anything, I don’t want anybody to get into trouble. [lowers her eyes and looks demure]
STANLEY
No comment.
[thinks for moment and decides to explain]
I like Jim and Pam and they tried to cover for me when…well, once. So, I’ve got nothing to say. Besides…
[laughs a very naughty and appreciative laugh]
CREED
Free love, baby! Free love!
RYAN
[casually]
Yeah, I know about them.
[looks down, obviously uncomfortable]
I can’t really…um…cast any stones.
KELLY
No, I think they’re really walking. Jim and Pam are waaay too prudish to do anything like that in the office. Besides, he’s so tall.
[pauses to consider]
Yeah, they’d totally need a bed.
ANGELA
[with a knowing, judgemental look]
I’m just saying, I’ve never seen them walking.
DWIGHT
I own this building. I have hidden surveillance cameras everywhere.
[flashes a devilish grin, and then looks more comtemplative]
I must say, I'm surprised at their endurance.
OSCAR
What Jim and Pam do at lunch break is none of my business.
[grins]
KEVIN
Yes!!! Can you blame Jim? I mean, look at Pam. Even after having a kid!
MICHAEL
[Very innocently and sincerely]
I think it’s great. Good for them for staying physically fit.
[frowns at something the cameraman says]
What? You mean? People think they’re? Wait!
[laughs in that amazed little boy way]
Oh my God.
[face flushes]
I had no idea.
[pauses for a moment]
Wow. That’s a lot of..
[snickers and then looks surprised]
That’s a huge surprise.
[face registers delight at his own words]
That’s what she said!!!
JIM AND PAM
CONFERENCE ROOM
PAM
No, we don’t plan to stop - I can’t imagine not exercising at work now. It’s…like a…compulsion.
[leans into Jim and innuendo creeps into her tone]
And it makes me feel soooo much better.
[catches herself, straightens up and speaks quickly, in a perky voice]
Healthier. I feel healthier.
JIM
[nods in agreement]
All the stress of this place just melts away.
PAM
[responding to crew]
No.
[looks unsure of what to say]
I mean, yes. I went to the doctor yesterday. But...
[looks at Jim in a conspiring way]
I wasn’t sick. It was just a check up.
[they both nod]
PAM
[listens to camera crew]
He just told me to get plenty of sleep and eat well. And take vitamins.
JIM
Yeah.
[grins like the cat that ate the canary]
All that exercising was apparently really good for her.
PAM
[smiles and nods vigorously]
Yup. Really good.
They look at each other and giggle, flushing a bit. Jim takes Pam’s hand in his, and then puts his other hand decisively over their clasped hands
They both look back at the camera, grinning.
END
Any comments are appreciated. *ducks rotten tomatoes*
Story Notes:
A series of talking heads commenting on Jim and Pam's fitness routine. Short, silly, and hopefully fun.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Title taken from the Aerosmith song. Yeah, that one.
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jazzfan is the author of 16 other stories.
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