Number One

"Oh my god, you won't believe the nightmare of a date I got pushed into last month. Kelly has been bugging me since June, and I finally gave in just to shut her up."

"Oh yeah?"

"Jim, he was unbelievable. He wrote a cartoon for the Scranton paper and it was just so self-serving and awful. And that was clearly the best part of his personality shining through. I made it completely clear to Kelly that I wanted no part in any more of her matchmaking."

"Probably the right decision."

"You're telling me. It only took one date like that to confirm what I pretty much already knew."

"What's that, Beesly?"

"There isn't a man in Scranton I have any interest in being with."

"No?"

"Nope. I'm thinking I might have to conduct an interstate search."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I hear Connecticut has had a recent influx of the kind of guy I'd be interested in."

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Number Two

"Hey Jim, do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Not that I know of - why do you ask?"

"Well, this is kind of embarrassing."

"Go on..."

"Well, I'm sitting here still in my work clothes, obviously, and I kind of had a fashion emergency earlier today."

"Oh, do tell. I'm waiting to hear how this ties into my plans for the night."

"Well, the button of my skirt popped off this morning, and since then it's been held together by two paper clips and bit of creative stapling."

"How very McGyver of you."

"Oh, shut up, Halpert. I was just wondering if I could get your phone number and call you back in about an hour. That way I could go home and get changed into something more comfortable. The staples are starting to scratch my stomach."

"Wow. Thanks for that image, Beesly. And, I don't see why not. It's 555-555-1212."

"Thanks, I'll call you back in an hour, okay?"

"That would be great, Beesly."

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Number Three

"Hey, do you have a fax available to you now?"

"Well, yeah - I'm still at work, remember? Why?"

"I just thought I should fax you the first day of Michael's work log while I still have it front of me."

"Oh, okay. Let me see here....the number is 555-555-1212."

"Great, hold on a moment." Pam took out a blank work log sheet and wrote quickly in thick black magic marker:

"I'm so sorry about everything.

I've missed you so much.

What can I do to get a second chance at that MTF offer?"

"Still there, Beesly?"

"Oh, sorry. The fax machine is being difficult. Okay, I think it's working now. You better go stand by your machine so no one else see this."

"I'm the only one here."

"Oh. Well just in case anyway."

"Hmm..let's see if my phone will let me reach. Just about, if I stand in this strangely contrived position. I'm sure I'll thanking you for the backache later."

"No problem."

"Oh, okay - it's coming through now. I can't wait to see this."

[Silence Jim's end of the phone for a minute.]

"Jim?"

"I'm still here."

"And....?"

"I'd say Michael had an interesting day."

"Yeah."

"Monday to Friday?"

"What?"

"MTF? You want a second chance at that 'monday to friday' offer?"

"No!" Pam laughed. "More than friends."

"Oh." Jim laughed. "That makes more sense."

"...and?"

"I think it's a conversation I'd rather have at another time."

"Oh, okay. I understand."

"Mind if I come up to see your fancy new place this weekend, Beesly?"

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Number Four

"Hey, let's play a game."

"A game, Beesly? Do you ever NOT have a game to play?"

"Well, I don't anyone to play games with around here anymore."

"Oh, well then I guess I have to play - what game?"

"Fill in the blanks."

"You go first."

"Jim Halpert likes BLANK about the Stamford branch."

"Okay. Jim Halpert likes the fact he has a view of the ocean from his desk."

"Wow, that sounds great! Are you serious?"

"Why would I lie about that?"

"Send me a picture then. I'd love to see it."

"Okay, I will. Your turn. Pam Beesly likes BLANK about the Scranton branch."

"Hmm. That's a tough one. Pam Beesly....Pam Beesly....."

"Quit stalling, Beesly."

"I'm not. I can't think of anything I really like about the Scranton branch."

"Wow. You are lying."

"I'm not. It's not the same here. I can tell you what I don't like."

"If you wish."

"Pam Beesly doesn't like that she has to sit here everyday and pretend she doesn't miss you terribly. Pam Beesly doesn't like that she's been too much of a coward to call and ask for a second chance."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask the judge if that is an acceptable response to the question under accepted international 'Fill in the Blanks' rules. Wait - he's asking for further clarification on how that ties in to the Scranton branch."

"Because I spend all day here thinking about it?"

"Hmm....he's making a decision. Yes. It looks like the answer will be accepted, but there appear to be conditions attached."

"Conditions?"

"Yes. You will need to appear in person to discuss this second chance."

"Ooh - Is that anything like Second Drink?"

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Number Five

"Hey Jim, I have a question?"

"Yes, Pam?"

"Which online map site do you prefer: MapQuest or Google Maps?"

"Well, Google's is pretty cool with the combination of map and aerial views."

"Cool, I'll pull that one up now. Now what's your address?"

"Work or home?"

"Home, of course. I can get the Stamford address off my rolodex."

"Right. 185B Trenton Avenue."

"Okay, got it. That's in Stamford, right?"

"Yes."

"Great."

"What are you doing?"

"Just getting the driving directions."

"Driving directions?"

"Yeah. Oh, here it is. I can be at your house in approximately 2 hours and 56 minutes."

"Is that so? Should I go home and get dinner started then??"

"Well, I was thinking more like Saturday."

"I can do Saturday."