Halloween

The Halloween task for the boss
Will mean one employee's loss
There's waste in accounting
And the pressure is mounting
The situation makes Michael quite cross.

An original costume is getting hard to find
You can have Jim regular or the 3 holed kind
Pam's little tail
Is making Jim wail
(If she went home with him do you think Roy would mind?)

Jim and Pam have plans for the day
Which involve making Dwight go away
It would just be so great
If he'd move out of state
So they proceed to post his resume.

In Maryland they find him a possibility
But Dwight causes the employer irritability
Then Jim suffers indigestion
When Pam makes the suggestion
That the job would make good use of Jim's ability.

When she sees that he's hurt she wants to shout
If Jim ever left she'd blow her brains out.
Even though it'd be smart
For Jim to make a new start
Being close to Pam is what he's all about.

Michael finally settles on firing Creed
And he's actually commenced the dirty deed
When in the midst of his firing
Creed starts conspiring
And somehow Devon's dispatched with great speed.

The Fight

Once a year comes the perfect storm
Michael has to practice his form
There are three major reports due
But the boss is the one who
Is the slacker and needs some reform.

Instead of just finishing his tasks
In procrastination he seemingly basks
His man crush on Ryan
Causes him to start pryin'
"Update the employee contacts" is what he asks.

Pam think his priorities are askew
"Is that really what you want to do?"
Michael tries to be tough
But he's cool, so it's rough
It's a classical Catch-22.

Once Michael finds out Ryan's cell
He starts putting the poor temp through hell
The calls are incessant
It's really unpleasant
Michael's forte's not pleasing his personnel.

After being humiliated by Dwight
Michael agrees to face him in a fight
They go to Dwight's dojo
Where he uses all his mojo
And gives poor Michael a fright.

Pam is fooling around with Jim
When Meredith happens to notice him
Wrestling with her a bit
Then Pam nearly has a fit
And suddenly she's all proper and prim.

The Client

Michael and Jan have a client meeting
She thinks their chances are fleeting
That the client will sign
But it might turn out fine
If Michael can just keep him eating.

Michael tells inappropriate jokes
That wouldn't amuse most folks
Jan grows alarmed
But the client is disarmed
And when they close the deal Jan nearly chokes.

Maybe it's some romantic reminiscing
Or maybe it's Gould that Jan's missing
Perhaps she's a light drinker
And not a clear thinker
But she and Michael end up in the parking lot kissing.

Meanwhile back at the DM paper mine
Pam makes a fabulous find
Seems Michael has penned
A tale of pretend
Should they read it? The boss wouldn't mind!

Jim calls together a meeting
Pam's discovery merits a reading
"Agent Michael Scarn"
Spins quite a compelling yarn
Any guilt that they feel is quite fleeting.

Dwight is against it from the beginning
But it's an argument he has no hope of winning
Wait - Samuel Chang the dolt is Dwight?
Find and replace got it right
'Cept for one "Dwigt" that leaves them all grinning.

When Dwight takes offense they go to intermission
Then it's Jim's turn to start his own important mission
Pam's delighted he made her dinner
Candlelight, fireworks - why can't he win her?
It's not like he doesn't have the ambition.

Before leaving they listen to Jim's ipod.
The next day things get somewhat odd
When Jim calls the night a date
Which Pam chooses to debate
See, swaying's not dancing, his logic's flawed.
 
Performance Review

Nobody's sure why the boss would refuse
To proceed with their performance reviews
Jan's visit's a distraction
Michael feels an attraction
And he's wonders if her voice mail holds any clues.

Pam's in Michael's office to interpret
'Cause he'll get it wrong I would bet
And it's clear events that transpired
May have been what Michael desired
But now Jan is experiencing major regret.

In the meantime Jim makes a discovery
That's a serendipitous uncovery
Though it's Thursday seems Dwight thinks
That it's Friday - after many drinks
He apparently didn't make a fast recovery.

The reviews are going all to hell
Michael is unfocused as well
The suggestion box holds no clues
There's just nothing there to use
And they all refer to Michael and his smell.

Jan tries to lead Michael to the conclusion
That he's suffering from a serious delusion
She'll date him roughly never
Did she mention never, ever?
But her clarity can't allay Michael's confusion.