EMail Surveillance
 
Michael gets an idea in his head
Sure to fill the employees with dread.
Their emails he'll be reading
And Michael's heart is bleeding
When he finds out what's being said.
 
There's a party to which he's not invited
He just can't believe that he has been slighted
Must be an oversight
Surely Jim will make it right
But his response leaves Michael less than delighted.
 
Anyway Michael has his improvisation class
Though he doesn't know his fellow students think him an ass
His scenarios are all the same
Guns and shooting are so lame
As for socializing with him they'll take a pass.
 
Jim's party that night is in full rocking swing
When Pam arrives alone and makes his heart sing
The tour leads her to his room
Where he can feel his heart go zoom
Too bad she's sporting that enagagement ring.
 
Spurned by his mates, Michael shows up uninvited
His crushed spirits are all reignited
Not one to feel shame
His karaoke turn is lame
But when Jim joins him Michael thinks all is righted.
 
Christmas Party
 
It's yuletime again at Dunder Mifflin
Santa don't want to hear no snifflin'
Jim finally feels like he wins
He's Pam's secret Santa, he grins
But he's the only one who's gonna be whistlin'.
 
His hopes for winning her over have gotten a lift
And he's bought her such a thoughtful gift
A teapot and so much more
Filled with special memories galore
But Michael starts a Yankee swap and he gets miffed.
 
Seems Jim has finally taken a chance
To end his and Pam's platonic dance
Enclosed a card he's written
Does it confess to Pam that he's smitten?
Christmas is the perfect time for romance.
 
Jim wimps out with his card but now here's an amusing sight
Kelly staggers into the break room and plants a kiss on Dwight!
Dwight is left confused
Angela is definitely not amused
Merry drunken Christmas to all and to all a good night!
 
 
Booze Cruise
 
It's time for the first quarter camaraderie event
A mysterious memo from Michael has been sent
They've been told what to pack
But it's just Michael talking smack
Just another trick his employees will resent.

They gather in the conference room to meet
Michael reveals the location of the retreat
But the staff is less than thrilled
A Booze Cruise in January is quite chilled
Although Meredith finds the booze thing quite sweet.

At the lake Michael greets the crowd
Sporting his hat and making quips of which he's proud
But he's stepping on Captain Jack's toes
Jack won't hesitate to interpose
Michael will soon find out his antics aren't allowed.

The boat finally gets under steam
Michael tries to start motivating his team
But the partying starts up quick
Meredith holds Captain Jack's stick
And Michael's dancing is absurd to the extreme.
 
Soon Pam wants to wring Roy's neck
And he treats her insignificant as heck
Watching Darryl's snorkel shot
Is cooler than finding a quiet spot
So Pam and Jim head outside on the deck.
 
She tells him she sometimes doesn't get Roy
With Jim's emotions is she just trying to toy?
He's not sure how to read her
"What's it like dating a cheerleader?"
Is the only thing she can say to that boy.
 
Will the anguish Jim shows make him bold?
Aching to take her in his arms to hold
It takes 27 silent seconds
Before meek little Pam reckons
That she has to go in 'cause she's cold.
 
Later, it's the receptionist Jim will confess
Who he'd save first, were the boat in distress
At last he heads for Pam full-blown
On making his feelings known
When suddenly Roy makes an address.
 
See, Roy's had a bit too much to drink
And Captain Jack's words have made him think
It's been too long a wait
Time to set the wedding date
Jim barely has strength left to blink.
 
Roy and Pam are in heaven; Jim's in hell
Then Katy asks about their future as well
"Think that'll ever be us?"
But it should be obvious
Jim loves Pam but he'll never tell.
 
Jim finally heads outside for some air
To a tied-up Michael he lays his feelings bare
Jim's pain is somewhat assuaged
When he's told 'married ain't engaged'
And perhaps having hope at last he can dare.
 
The Injury
 
Michael awakes with an achin'
To chow down on some bacon
He sets up his grill
And when he gets up he will
Some tasty breakfast be makin'.
 
The problem with this plan as we'll soon see
Is it's apt to cause severe injury
When he steps on the floor
He lets out a roar
George Foreman never meant this to be.
 
Instead of staying home for a sick day
He calls Dunder Mifflin to say
That he'll be needing a ride
And the office minions are snide
But faithful Dwight is soon on his way.
 
A crash outside is what is heard
And the scene they witness is absurd
Dwight's smashed into a pole
Which has taken its toll
He's sick and his vision is blurred.
 
Michael makes it to work but what a waste
When he arranges a seminar post-haste
His foot pain can't compare
To a man in a wheelchair
Was he born without any good taste?
 
Then Pam is disturbed to no end
When she realizes Dwight is kinda her friend
She's greatly relieved
To find he's received
A concussion - to which they'll need to tend.
 
Jim provides the transportation
To the hospital for Dwight's examination
The ride is from hell
But it all turns out well
And Dwight stays overnight for observation.