The Secret
Michael wants to spend time with Jim
Is the feeling mututal? Chances are slim
Fearing Michael can't keep it inside
Jim agrees to take a ride
Though the thought of lunching together is grim.
Hooters ain't the height of fine dining
But it's certain to keep Michael from whining
You can placate some pests
By simply showing them breasts
And therein lies the silver lining.
Meanwhile the office enforcer Dwight
Suspects Oscar's absence just isn't right
How can he spend the whole day
But not realize Oscar's gay?
That would have been a truly awesome sight.
Back at the office Jim gets proactive
And tells Pam he did find her attractive
But he glosses it over fast
Saying his feelings were in the past
It's a discussion he won't want to relive.
The Carpet
Jim's burning with elation
Cuz Pam's been with Roy on vacation
But today she's returning
And Jim is yearning
For some innuendo-filled conversation.
Poor Jim's ointment has trapped a fly
And you'll never guess the reason why
It'll make you shout "UGH!"
To discover what's on Michael's rug
The faint-hearted need not apply.
Michael takes Jim's desk by force
Which ruins Jim's plans, of course
At least it's less smelly
Back in the annex with Kelly
Even though he's filled with remorse.
And it's bad enough what Pam infers
If little skiing got done what could be worse?
It prickles Jim's ire
To picture her and Roy by the fire
The thought makes him just want to burst.
When he later finds 7 voice mails waiting
Then he realizes there's no debating
That she missed his attention
Her voice filled with affection
And he finds his depression abating.
Boys and Girls
Jan's here for 'Women in the Workplace Day'
Pam's not sure what she'll have to say
Michael attempts to be involved
But Jan gets it resolved
When she send the guys to the warehouse to stay.
Kevin takes Jim aside to say
That Roy might be on his way
To give Jim a smack
But Kevin's got his back
If Roy wants to make him pay.
Michael creates chaos as is his style
Darryl is steaming all the while
But Michael is more fearful
Of getting an earful
From Jan when the union talk makes her hostile.
Jan does manage to make Pam's day shine
When she mentions the program in graphic design
Pam's bursting with passion
But then of course she turns ashen
When Roy strongly suggest that she decline.
Jim challenges her to just rebel
(Why won't she tell Roy to go to helll?)
The tears start to stream
At thoughts of giving up her dream
(It's okay, Pam! You'll marry Jim someday and all will be well!)
Valentine's Day
It's Valentine's Day and love is in the air
Phyllis gets tons of flowers and a big-ass bear
And there isn't a chance
That Roy's thoughtful like Bob Vance
So Pam finds it truly unfair.
Kelly's in an ecstatic state
As she may have found her soul mate
But Ryan has some ruings
About last night's doings
There's no going back - it's too late!
Jim is laying low on this night
But he's got his friends and he'll be all right
When he tries to be nice
And give Kelly love advice
He realizes they're sharing the same plight.
Even Dwight secretly enjoys Angela's gift
The Schrute bobblehead gives him a lift
He avoids a potential jam
Getting inspiration from Pam
Angela will never know she almost got stiffed.
Michael's in NY for a presentation
Which is giving Jan major hesitation
She sends him an email warning
Quite early that same morning
To discourage any intimate conversation.
The new CFO wants figures and charts
Although Michael greatly prefers the arts
His "Faces of Scranton" opus
Makes his future at DM seems hopeless
And then Craig reveals he and Jan meshed private parts.
Michael tries to explain his transgression
He spins it as a joking confession
The CFO accepts all of this
Then Michael receives Jan's grateful kiss
He actually leaves her with a positive impression.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Limerick episode summaries for The Secret, The Carpet, Boys and Girls, and Valentine's Day
Par5 is the author of 29 other stories.
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