Pilot
There once was a show called "The Office".The British did it first we confess.
The pilot was the same,
Didn't even change the name,
But we fell in love nonetheless.
Jan says Scranton's sales she'll be graphing
Seems that corporate might reduce their staffing.
But Michael's less boss and more friend,
Doesn't care how much they spend,
Is he kidding? Cuz the staff's not laughing
Jim's a paper salesman without peer
But his single greatest fear
Is to stay there too long -
He avoids promotion and stays strong -
Lest the job should become a career.
"Pam, the receptionist, is cute!"
Michael says and it gives him a hoot.
Engaged to Roy for years
It nearly brings her to tears
When Michael points out the wedding is moot.
For Dwight, Jim's antics are a pain
(He's played by an actor named Rainn)
"Only an idiotic fellow
Would put a stapler in Jello!"
Is Dwight's familiar refrain.
From the very first show it's plain
Jim gazes at Pam with eyes of pain.
Jim's in love, it's the worst,
Too bad Roy found her first,
As Jim's feelings aren't likely to wane.
Diversity Day
Michael loves Chris Rock's bit
But to repeat it in the office? What a twit!
Corporate sent Mr. Brown
To get Michael to come around
"My behavior was wrong" he won't admit.
So the boss arranged his own meeting
Thinks racism he alone is defeating.
With all the snipes
And the stereotypes
It's amazing his career isn't more fleeting.
For Jim's big client Dwight made a play
And ended up stealing him away.
But Pam's energy was tapped
On Jim's shoulder she napped
And it ended up being a good day.
Health Care
Never one to take on hard work
Michael gives Dwight the duty so he can shirk
Hides behind his closed door
Promises ice cream sandwiches and more
But he's only just being a jerk.
Dwight lets the power go to his head
Fills his coworkers with dread.
"Make a list of diseases
And do as I pleases
Or from Count Choculitis, you'll be dead."
Jim and Pam make their own list
Attempting to make Dwight desist.
"Spontaneous dentohydroplosion
Causes immediate tooth erosion.
It's a serious problem," they insist.
Dwight is skeptical at first
But their problem isn't the worst
Anal fissures are serious
Making Kevin delirious
And Dwight's bubble is about to burst.
From his office Michael finally emerged
As the wrath of the workers converged
Dwight relents, they're placated
The crisis is abated
At least until the Scranton Office gets merged!
