Jim paced outside of the Dunder Mifflin corporate office building. His fingers fiddled with the gold yogurt lid in his pocket. Even though he was feeling an absolute sense of dread for what he was about to do, he couldn’t help but smile. He bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time back into the building. He was going to tell David Wallace he didn’t want the job.
That was the easy part.
------
“You have got to be kidding me, Jim.”
He couldn’t find any words, so he just looked down. Karen let out a laugh of disbelief and sat on the edge of the fountain.
“It’s her, isn’t it? It’s Pam.”
“...I just…”
Of course it was Pam. It has always been Pam. Since the day he walked into that Scranton office for the first time, it had been Pam.
“She broke your heart, Jim! I remember what you were like when you first showed up in Stamford. I thought you were just shy but she did a number on you. And I let you convince me, like an idiot, that you were over her. That you were just friends and nothing more. What was I to you, Jim? Honestly, can you tell me that?”
Still, he was struggling to find the right words to say. He wasn’t sure if there were even any right words in this situation.
“I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to be all-in with you, Karen. Trust me. I know I wasn’t always fair to you but I did have real feelings for you.”
“Oh, awesome,” she said, her words dripping with sarcasm. She suddenly got quiet and stared down at her hands. “Lucky me.”
“I’m really sorry, Karen.”
“Please leave.”
“Karen…”
“Leave, Jim.”
“How will you get back?”
“Go!”
“Okay. I’m sorry…”
He slowly backed away. As he turned around, he heard Karen let out a small sob. He clutched the yogurt lid in his pocket again. It was his life raft, keeping him afloat and reminding him that it was going to get better and he didn’t just make a beautiful woman cry for no reason in the middle of New York City. He may have broken Karen’s heart but for the first time in a very long time, his finally felt whole.
------
He wasn’t quite sure what it was that ultimately snapped him out of the denial he had put himself in over the past year but he had a two hour drive to try and figure it out. Maybe it was because he recognized her handwriting on the note before he even saw her name and his made his heart skip a beat. Maybe it was the fact that she had kept the yogurt lid after all this time, which was such a “Pam” thing to do (and it was adorable). Or maybe it was because when David asked him where he saw himself in ten years, he thought of her.
He thought about pranks on Dwight with his trusty sidekick.
He thought about air high fives and the rules of jinx.
He thought about going home every night with a girl who knew him better than he knew himself and about curly-haired kids and Christmas mornings in Scranton.
He thought about birthdays, Halloweens, little league games, and paintings on their fridge made by little hands that she had taught.
And he thought about never needing to avoid her, or hide his feelings, or pretend he didn’t absolutely adore everything about Pamela Morgan Beesly.
Because he did. And it was about time he told her.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I know the last chapter was Jim’s POV but I didn’t want to tag “The Job” to the end of “Beach Games”, and since Pam wasn’t in New York, I cranked out a short little Jim chapter to set us up for the ending. I wanted to only do 10 chapters, but their first date needs its own stage. :)
Chapter End Notes:
I already have the last chapter written and will post it sometime today. I may or may not have stayed up until 3 am writing it. But JAM fluff just cannot be stopped. :)
