Reception desk. Jim is easing Pam into her chair.
JIM: You okay?
PAM: Yup, I’m good.
TALKING HEAD— PAM
Today is my last day before maternity leave. So… well, I guess it’s pretty much like any other day here. But I get to look forward to a bit of a break. That is, before I go into the mind numbing pain of labour and delivery. (Half smile) But yeah… non-deductible vacation days are always fun.
Reception desk. The phone rings.
JIM: You need me to get that?
Pam gives him a look and reaches for the phone.
PAM: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
TALKING HEAD---- JIM
Yeah. I’m definitely excited for the baby, um… we don’t know yet if it’s a boy or a girl. (grins) So we’ve invested in a lot of yellow onesies, to be on the safe side. And, we’ve pretty much baby-proofed the apartment, and I’ve picked up a few things… um, Pam doesn’t think it’s all necessary.
CUT TO: Pam in the parking lot, at her car door. She pulls a newly-purchased bumper sticker out of the shopping bag that reads "BABY ON BOARD". She glares blankly at the camera.
TALKING HEAD--- JIM
But at least now we’re ready for pretty much everything. Even an office birth, because Dwight claims he has experience in delivering babies, so… we’ve definitely got it all covered.
Jim is at his desk, on a sales call. He looks over at Pam, who has fallen asleep at her desk, and smiles slowly.
Michael and Dwight emerge from his office.
Michael: Jim! Hang up the phone, please? I need to talk to you about something--- it’s important.
JIM (to customer): I’ll get back to you in five minutes. Yeah. Okay, thanks. (hangs up) What? (his eyes flicker towards Pam at her desk, and Micheal notices.)
MICHEAL: Pam? Pam!
She wakes up with a start, blinking.
MICHEAL: No sleeping on the job, Pam. Come on, get with it. I mean--
Jim stares angrily at his desk, shaking his head.
DWIGHT: --That’s right. Parasite growing within you or not, we’re still paying you company money to sit there.
MICHEAL: Still got one more day left, alright? (sarcastically) Try to hang in there, answering the phones. Very strenuous work…
PHYLLIS: Micheal, she’s pregnant, it’s really tiring—
MICHEAL: Yeah, well, it’s tiring for all of us, Phyllis. And I think we’ve all been accommodating and understanding of Pam’s pregnancy—
Jim is still shaking his head.
JIM: Yesterday you asked her to help carry a heavy box out to your car because your hands were full.
MICHEAL: That was—who told you that? Pam? Why would you spread rumours…
PAM: Well, he’s my husband--
MICHEAL: (mimicking) Well, he’s my husband.’ Y’know what? This is exactly why office relationships don’t work out, because they get in everyone’s way.
TALKING HEAD—ANGELA
Personally? I think Micheal’s right. I mean, it’s enough that Pam walks in here everyday in those new maternity clothes, flaunting her… condition. But to fall asleep on the job? (Pause) She’ll probably bring the baby into work. And then there will be breastfeeding. (Another pause). That’s probably when I’d take it to court.
JIM: Did you interrupt my sales call for a reason?
MICHEAL: Ah. Yes. Right. Well, today we'll be dropping in on one of our newest customers, to give them a quick review of our quarterly sales. And I’ve been asked to bring one of my salesmen with me for the presentation. And that person will be... you. So, It’s about an hour away, and we’ll be driving in my Sebring, so it’ll be a bit of a treat for you, also.
JIM: Isn’t this kind of last minute? I didn’t prepare anything.
MICHEAL: Uh, this is the paper industry, Jim. Moves fast, you gotta move fast with it. Alright? Just be ready to go in ten minutes. Don’t worry about the presentation, I’ve got it covered. (Under breath) As usual.
JIM: Well, when will we be back? Because—
MICHEAL: Three o’clock.
JIM:Okay.
MICHEAL: Or… maybe later. Maybe tomorrow. Who knows? (Backs towards his office, grins at the camera.) We’re unpredictable here at Dunder Mifflin. That’s right.
Jim sighs, looks towards Pam. She’s asleep, again.
