Date: March 24, 2019 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 11: The Almanac
"Eh, same old." God, I love that line.
I just... Roy needs to be punched, okay? I want so badly for someone to punch him because he's just such a jerk and he's awful and his entire diatribe against being woken up early makes me hate him so much more.
The idea of Stars as bachelor party entertainment nearly caused me to choke on my diet coke, so well done there, Comfect. Ugh, Jim's already planning the wedding - he can't handle this too! Talk about a glutton for punishment.
Pam! Not gonna lie, I sat up a little bit straighter at her entrance. And she called him Lieutenant and we all swooned a little bit. You're good.
And now he's waiting and leaning and I'm waiting and sitting, and let's hope none of us have to wait too much longer!
Author's Response: Thank you! Please take your violence against Roy desires and get in line (as this appears to be my big Roy move, making him an utter ass). I hope you enjoy our big finish!
Date: March 24, 2019 06:03 pm Title: Chapter 10: Cryogenics Bay
Oh look: it's Unfrozen Caveman Roy with zero redeeming qualities straight away. You always do well with making him the worst man alive, so thank you for staying the course here as well.
He's not awake for an hour and he already needs a drink? He also needs a foot up the ass, but what do I know?
This last paragraph with Pam's internal struggle over names and tones of voice and just, everything? As always, it's perfectly written and I'm way too invested in this story.
Oh but hey - Roy's headed to the Almanac with Jim so this should be good!
Author's Response:
I mean...I could drag this out by making him nice. But why? Remember, this Roy proposed a date that literally meant he wouldn't have to do any wedding prep. So of course he sucks...
And I'm glad you're invested, because your feedback is always awesome!
Date: March 24, 2019 05:54 pm Title: Chapter 9: The Almanac
I need a drink too, knowing that Roy is being woken up, so Jim's on the right track here.
Good to see Michael's hate for Toby carrying over here... that little bit made me laugh.
I love how conflicted Jim is here. Okay, I don't love it directly, but I love how *you're* writing it, and it's so raw and real and sometimes, pining Jim can come off as unhinged or creepy but not here. Here he's just a guy in love with his best friend. Trapped on a spaceship with her. Totally normal times. Or at least, you make them seem normal. :)
Author's Response: Just drink something better than I put in The Almanac. I'm really glad my Jim isn't coming off creepy, because I really want him to sound reasonable, just trapped and desperate. Thanks for the review!
Date: March 24, 2019 05:47 pm Title: Chapter 8: A Corridor
"They could still do this. She could give him an opening, and he could run right through it, and they could be a team." You constantly put out little gems like this and I'm just so impressed with them every time. I love your takes on Jim and Pam and even in space, it's no different!
Kelly continues to be perfectly in character - I hear all of it in her voice.
But now we're going to wake Roy up early? UGH. Do we have to? You're lucky I trust you or I'd be more upset about this.
I'm still a terrible person though, because I'm kind of hoping something bad happens during the waking up process. *shrugs*
Author's Response:
I want Roy gone, so we have to get through Roy being here. The ciiiiiircle of life...
Date: March 24, 2019 05:42 pm Title: Chapter 7: Secondary Command
Pam's kind of a sassy badass here, and I like it. Her "or what" when he asks her if she's going to let him out of the room is fantastic. She's not letting him off the hook so easily at all.
And THEN she hits him with the "Is this what love looks like" and I'm cheering like Katy at a roller derby game because this is the Pam I love.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I feel like Pam deserved a chance to tell Jim these things, ya know?
Date: March 24, 2019 05:36 pm Title: Chapter 6: Observation Dome
Comfect, he basically created tea for her. This is too much in the best of ways.
And then she locked the door and now THIS is too much. Talk about emotional whiplash, but don't ever stop with these little details.
Ugh, I love how there's nothing left for Pam to do but laugh at the entire situation. I can't blame her; the poor girl has been through every emotion possible in the last 24 hours - she's bound to be a tiny bit hysterical.
This is so good. So. Good.
Author's Response:
Oh yes he did! Not just a pot this time...hope the emotional whiplash isn't too strong :)
Date: March 24, 2019 05:27 pm Title: Chapter 5: Primary Command
Can I just tell you how much I love Kelly here? The whole tangent about aging is fantastic.
Jim trying to figure out what to say to Pam...ugh, poor guy. He's so lost and he's trapped and it's brutal and is it weird that I want more of all of this?
Author's Response: Kelly was a lot of fun to write. Angsty Jim too ;) thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: March 24, 2019 05:22 pm Title: Chapter 4: Pam's Bunk
There is so much history in this chapter and I love all of it. The pranks Jim and Pam used to play on Dwight, the fact that Katy was a quasi-celebrity, and that Roy played roller derby. It's these details that shape the story in a way, and moreso, the conflicted Pam we're seeing in this moment. I especially loved your take on Booze Cruise and how ridiculous the "I'm cold" statement would be here, but Jim still letting her slide until he couldn't anymore.
Who needs action, is what I'm saying -- when the internal is this good.
Author's Response: Thank you! I had a ton of fun recasting show moments into the AU, which is part of why they spend a lot of time reminiscing...
1 [Report This]Date: March 24, 2019 07:38 am Title: Chapter 11: The Almanac
My goodness that Roy is really something isn’t he? Poor jim sitting there listening to that and knowing she chose that guy over him, how depressing... one/two word replies felt spot on.
Pams entrance actually surprised me in such a great way! Definitely looking forward to what comes next!
Author's Response: Yeah. I don't know quite why I made this AU's Roy such an ass but it's a lot of fun to write.
1 [Report This]Date: March 24, 2019 06:44 am Title: Chapter 11: The Almanac
Yesssssss, Comfect. This chapter is so good! I love seeing badass Pam like this. I love Roy being clueless about not only what is going on around him but also who he’s venting to. I love the mental picture of Lt Jim leaning against the wall outside
the Almanac, all brooding and sexy in his uniform (sorry, not sorry). Idk that I love that there are only one or two chapters left! 😭
Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate all of this, and I hope the last few chapters make it ending worthwhile (if that makes sense).
Date: March 23, 2019 10:12 pm Title: Chapter 11: The Almanac
First and foremost, great job with working in Omicron Perseii VIII. Made for a great lighthearted moment in kind of a heavy chapter.
Again keeping Roy in Roy form. Completely oblivious to anything that's anywhere near what Pam actually wants or needs. He's so caught up in own selfishness that he can't see how great Pam is.
I think Jim played that probably as best as he could. He's doing his best to not engage Roy so the short answers are very in keeping with his line of thought right now.
Pam's entrance was great. You can tell she's made up her mind about something big here. I get the image that she's very much ready to be done with Roy and it's time to let him know his boorish ways won't cut it anymore. Not only that, but she's also an officer on the ship and that position is due a certain amount of respect that Roy is obliged to offer. I really liked her little whispered comment was great too.
If I had anymore jelly beans to offer this chapter would get one for sure. Great job.
Author's Response: Thank you! I try to drop at least one joke like that per heavy chapter for just that reason so I'm glad it landed. I hope you like the follow up!
1 [Report This]Date: March 23, 2019 09:38 pm Title: Chapter 11: The Almanac
Yessss!!! Yes! And that Lieutenient Halpert thing was sexy af.
Author's Response: :-D. I'm glad you liked it!
1 [Report This]Date: March 23, 2019 09:25 pm Title: Chapter 10: Cryogenics Bay
Loved loved loved this chapter and all the attention to details. And, of course, I want to kill Roy or, since this is outer space, kick him out of the ship
Author's Response: Thank you! I do seem to specialize in making you come up with new ways to despise and abuse Roy. Which I don't object to in the least, of course...
1 [Report This]Date: March 23, 2019 07:39 pm Title: Chapter 10: Cryogenics Bay
Please tell me this next chapter is coming soon! I love where this story is going. And you’ve had so many creative ways to incorporate elements and scenes from the show. Good stuff here!
Author's Response: And the next chapter is up right now! I was writing it when I saw this come in! Thanks, I really appreciate hearing all of this, it helps reassure me that I'm on the right track with this.
1 [Report This]Date: March 23, 2019 03:37 pm Title: Chapter 5: Primary Command
Comfect, see, the thing is I don’t understand sci-fi but I GET this and it’s so wonderful and not just because it’s Jam-centric (I’d really love to hear more about Kelly and Ryan in this universe, I can’t lie). And, oh my, that part where Jim is weighing out what to say to Pam was just perfection.
Author's Response: Oh, DC, how did you know exactly what I wanted to hear? That was really my goal, to write this SF but make it accessible to anyone who wanted to read Office JAM regardless of whether that's their jam (pardon the pun). Thanks for the feedback!
Date: March 21, 2019 10:30 am Title: Chapter 10: Cryogenics Bay
So Roy is in fine form here, and by fine form I mean he's the same windbag he's always been.
Great job on Pam's part to have all these thoughts going through her head. She's trying to give Roy his chance, but methinks she's realizing he's already wasting it. Great update.
Author's Response: Yup. My favorite version of Roy, and by favorite I mean favorite to write not favorite to have had to experience if I had to live around him. I appreciate the feedback, and hopefully we are on the homestretch now of Pam having key realizations.
Date: March 17, 2019 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 9: The Almanac
Excellent self-analysis on Jim's part here. A much more mature version, at least in the start of the chapter, than what we see in the show. Great way to get him to start thinking with his head rather than being led with his heart in this regard.
Hopefully his trip to the Almanac won't change that to badly. Well done as always.
Author's Response: I think Jim's immaturity in canon is to a certain extent a result of having gotten out of town too quickly: it meant he didn't have to confront the consequences or implications of his actions for too long. Here he's in a different mental space because he can't get away from it. Thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: March 16, 2019 08:29 am Title: Chapter 8: A Corridor
Seems like Jim and Pam are getting back onto, well maybe not an even keel, but less rocky to be sure. It's amazing what a little direct communication can do. It's helped Pam remember some of the things she doesn't like about Roy. As well as think about the great things about Jim.
"Not being with Roy was something she really didn't know..." Great line there, but yet this Pam does know what it's like to not be with Roy. While he's been down there frozen she's had the chance to see what life is like without him. It seems to be be working for her too. This Pam is a lot more intentional with her thoughts. Now after Jim's declaration she's thinking a lot harder about what she wants out of her life.
So those are some nice adjustments from the Pam we see in the show. What I think you've retained nicely here is that Pam is still a very sweet and caring soul. Waking up Roy early is a way she's looking out for his feelings, as well as looking out for hers. With all the complicated thoughts and feelings is going through with this marriage really what she wants?
Now how will Roy react? Again the dynamic of not being able to go anywhere except back into the freezer is a great dynamic to play off of here. Everyone can avoid each other to be sure, but they can't escape each other. Makes for a very dramatic story.
Author's Response: Well, I'm further behind on responding to these than I thought! Thanks for this really thoughtful review. I greatly appreciate your insights. This one in particular made me think for the next Pam chapter: "this Pam does know what it's like not to be with Roy." A very good point and one I am (hopefully) building on.
1 [Report This]Date: March 15, 2019 11:42 am Title: Chapter 7: Secondary Command
That was an interesting confrontation in the Observation Dome to be sure. Good on Pam to call him out like that. It's quick and simple, but it seems to break down the bits of armor Jim had started to mentally put up around her.
Then I kind of get the feeling that things kind of shift when he takes her to secondary command. She's not saying a lot while he prattles on. It feels like in the show when Jim is showing Pam through his parents house right after he bought it. She's not really saying much and her expression is kind of unreadable.
Can't wait to see what you've got planned next. And yes I am glad of the plot moving a bit quicker. But it's also your story to write and you do introspection very well.
Author's Response:
Thanks! It's interesting that you and Coley both brought up the house, which was not my original intent, but which I can definitely see the parallels to now that I've gone back and both re-read my fic and re-watched that moment. Interested to see if you think Pam's reaction (which I'd already planned out) tracks for you or not.
And since I aimed this at 24k (which I probably won't hit, it'll go over, but still) this is going to pick up pace for sure now that I think the building blocks are in place.
Date: March 15, 2019 10:08 am Title: Chapter 7: Secondary Command
So I know I’m a few chapters behind in reviewing (surprise!) and this isn’t an official review but before I forget, I just needed you to know that the scene here with Jim describing the wedding space reminded me So Much of when he bought Pam a house and I don’t know if it was intentional or not but I love it and it’s got me feeling a couple of different ways.
Author's Response:
What's this official review nonsense? I value your opinions whenever you have them!
It's interesting that you and warrior4 both noted the house-buying element when I didn't actually intend it! But it meant I went back and watched that scene again so hooray. The main difference I see here is that house-Jim had already bought the house, and also had a like real responsibility to Pam not to do major life things without her OK (I'm not a huge fan of that moment even if Pam reacts OK). But I see what you mean about the moment. VERRRY similar...we'll just have to see how this Pam reacts.
1 [Report This]Date: March 15, 2019 09:05 am Title: Chapter 6: Observation Dome
This was my favorite chapter. I love that it is Pam the one who tries to go back to normal and, of course, how Jim is having any of it.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I hope the next one lives up to that too then, since we'll get Jim's POV.
1 [Report This]Date: March 15, 2019 07:58 am Title: Chapter 1: Secondary Command
I’m not a huge sci-fi person but you reeled me in quickly. The world building alone is so amazing in this fic and then the added JAM angst? You’ve got me hook, line, and sinker. I can’t wait to read more.
Author's Response: I'm glad to hear it! I designed this to be as accessible as I could make it to a non-sci-fi audience, so I hope you'll keep on with it!
1 [Report This]Date: March 14, 2019 06:27 pm Title: Chapter 5: Primary Command
Ouch, poor Jim. Inside his head is a very tough place to be.
Author's Response: Yeah, but it's a lot of fun as a place to write from! Thanks for reading.
1 [Report This]Date: March 14, 2019 12:17 am Title: Chapter 6: Observation Dome
"It was like watching an engine light up, but in reverse." Great line there that I think really gets to how Jim's feeling. Even though this is a Pam chapter it's very clear that Jim's pain is still very raw. I'm sure he would very much like to get back to being friends, but he can't after her rejection.
Speaking of her, I liked all Pam's introspection here. How she's reviewing all the ways he's shown how he cares for her. She's trying to sort out her feelings and I think she's starting to get a sense of just what Jim truly means to her. She's trying to get back to the way things were before his declaration, trying to remember that she's engaged But I sense that it's getting harder since Jim is there, warm, and most importantly not frozen unlike a certain Roycicle down in the warehouse. Great stuff, especially with all the flashbacks to things like the teapot.
Then let's talk about her reaction here for sec shall we? I really like that she locks them in the Observation Dome. I'm not sure if she realizes it or not, but it seems like a very Fancy New Beesly thing to do. Her laughter even in the face of Jim's angst is a refreshing change of pace. Mainly because I sense she's not laughing out of a desire to hurt his feelings, but because if she doesn't she'll break down almost like how Jim is on the verge of doing.
But now they're alone, and clearly emotions are still running high. Will they talk? Fight? Join the Billion-Light-Year-High club? I don't know, but I can't wait to find out.
Author's Response: Thanks, as always, for your extremely in-depth reviews. They really help me understand what I'm doing with the story I've already written, which as you can imagine is very important as I go write more of it. I think (or at least hope) you'll enjoy getting a little more plot movement over these next few chapters.
Date: March 12, 2019 06:05 pm Title: Chapter 5: Primary Command
Now that it's known this is more of an introspective type tale, this all works a lot better in that it's easier to know what to expect. Thanks for the heads up here at the end of this chapter and the thoughtful response to my last review.
Trying to unpack everything going on in Jim's head here is quite the task. Lots of fun call backs to the show that are fun to see added in. It's clear he's trying hard to put up mental armor when it comes to Pam. She's made her choice and he has to live with it. However he's also realizing just how abrupt his declaration was to her. We didn't see the immediate aftermath of Casino Night on the show. So here when everything is still so fresh and raw it all comes across as very believable. Even though the setting has changed quite a bit, you've still got everyone in character from how we saw them in the show. Good on you for that as it can be tough. Especially when one goes AU and the skies, or in this case the universe, is the limit in terms of how you can characterize everyone.
Well done as always.
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! I always appreciate your thoughtful reviews. I do promise there will be a little more actual plot going forward, now that we've hopefully disentangled where their minds are (though you probably know by now from reading my other stories that I do tend to spend a lot of time in their heads).