1 [Report This]Date: October 01, 2021 11:19 pm Title: Chapter Seven
Amazing writing. One of the best single chapters of writing I’ve seen on this site.
But, let me tell you, by the time I finished reading this chapter, I felt like my heart had been put through a blender. I know you need to do this. I know you have to pull them apart a bit so Danny can seemingly break Pam’s heart and then Jim can come over and console her to the point that they screw each other senseless, but it hurts so much to have them on the precipice like this!
When you can do that to a reader, and make someone feel those things through writing, that is why it’s amazing writing.
Author's Response: Thank you so very much! (And you might be surprised by what actually brings them to the point of senseless screwing…)
1 [Report This]Date: October 01, 2021 09:59 pm Title: Chapter Seven
…just when I thought they were about to get together. *cries* Great chapter, I guess I’m not surprised to see Danny and Katy appear, but very gut wrenching nonetheless. Hopefully soon we will see these two together.
Author's Response: Thanks! Still a ways to go but hang in there! :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
1 [Report This]Date: September 27, 2021 05:16 pm Title: Chapter Six
So excited to get my “Surry with a fringe” scene but it was even better because how appropriate that they were dorky dancing. Instead of doing Karaoke. I mean that was brilliant.
Plus you reworked the “I never understood the lyrics of this song”. Like the modern twist.
And right after that I saw Booze Cruise face - that’s the look I felt like you set up in that scene. Really well done there.
And I really am enjoying how you are using Kelly in this story.
Great chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Writing Kelly has been an unexpected joy.
Date: September 27, 2021 02:07 pm Title: Chapter Six
So many awesome things to say about this chapter.
1. The ramping up of the sexual tension is deliciously frustrating! FFS Jim, you clearly love her as much as she loves you!
2. The scene with Karen - loved the WHMS call back to Harry seeing "Helen" in the film (even without Surrey with the Fringe On Top). Wonderfully awkward and I love how Pam stepped up in that moment (if we couldn't already love her more.)
3. Pam's underwear - go Kelly! Totally called it.
4. And on the subject of Kelly - "he's never going to leave her!" - that's Marie, and I yet I see Kelly/Mindy Kaling and not Carrie Fisher. And I LOVED how you've used that, and other lines and interwoven them through the story so adeptly.
Absolutely glorious.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I know UST can frustrate some people but it is totally my jam (pun intended) so I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm also happy you see Marie in Kelly, since I've had to sort of split her into two characters for this story. I feel like Holly gets the good parts and Kelly gets the bad parts, lol. But I really appreciate that, and the review!
Date: September 26, 2021 02:02 pm Title: Chapter Six
So close and yet so far. Loved the descriptions of their outfits. Felt very classy for them. Then despite being classy they start out fun loving and goofy. Until Karen shows up of course and throws a wrench in things. Seems like they recover a bit though.
The inability for Pam and Jim to really communicate their true feelings comes across well here. They're both clearly into each other. Pam really needs to listen to Kelly here. Just 10 seconds of insane courage and they'll be all sorted.
That being said, even if it was a chase New Years kiss, it was still very romantic and sweet.
Author's Response:
I'm so happy the lack of communication is coming across believably, obviously the story relies on it so that makes me incredibly pleased to hear.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Date: September 26, 2021 12:56 pm Title: Chapter Six
I was already *very* excited for this chapter, and this lived up to that and then some - it was perfect. Jim’s reaction to seeing Pam in a dress, him instantly picking up on Toby’s crush, the dorky dance-off to the YMCA…so, so good. I also just really love the way you’ve written these little signals from Jim that it feels completely legitimate for Pam to misinterpret, even as you want to bang their heads together - like him getting uncomfortable during the romantic part of the song, and his reaction with her around Karen, and him being totally himself in front of her in a way he isn’t with Karen. Argh. The chemistry and yearning between them in this chapter is incredible, the slow dance and their kiss are just so great. (Also, I don’t know if Jim’s line was a nod to the Gallaghers confirming that cannonball lyric is in fact complete nonsense…but I love it).
I think you’ve captured Pam’s confusion and her genuinely being afraid of ruining their friendship even as she wants more so well - I especially loved this line:
"As suddenly as the moment had arrived, it passed. She nodded, feeling incredibly disappointed and somehow relieved in equal measure.”
Their friendship comes through so strongly in this one too, especially with the bit about Pam seeing her favourite person when she opens her eyes after the kiss. I loved the scene afterwards with Kelly - and Kelly incredibly astutely picking up on Pam’s underwear, lol. Also, Kelly’s Shazzer impression from Bridget Jones with the tongue down your throat line: YES. And Pam’s moment of genuine fondness for Kelly, even though she’s…Kelly. I’m all for the girls night! Â
The ending with Pam falling asleep in the pyjamas he’s given her is so lovely. And a tiny bit heartbreaking. Amazing update!
PS I am a doofus - you did, in fact, make it pretty clear in the chapter before last about the Felicity boxset. I think I got carried away…
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing as always!
* I also just really love the way you’ve written these little signals from Jim that it feels completely legitimate for Pam to misinterpret, even as you want to bang their heads together*
This makes me happy, as this is the most difficult thing about writing two characters that should so obviously be together. Argh is right (Also I'm really glad Pam's insecurities and fears are coming through because that will obviously be very important down the line...)
And you're not a doofus, lol... this is what happens when I "pants," apparently. Originally I intended to make the gift something else but reeled it back since it felt unnecessary. Always learning, heh.
Date: September 26, 2021 11:53 am Title: Chapter Six
This moment of Jim getting a look at decked out Pam for the first time and being unable to look away is lovely. You can see his mind blue-screening. They are, in fact, super adorable.
Toby as an example of Pam not quite getting the effect she has on people is a nice touch. And the dorky dance-off... and the contrast with how embarrassed Jim is to be himself around Karen as opposed to how open he is with Pam, and Pam's misunderstanding of what that means, is such a good hook for this chapter.
This is such a classic meeting the ex moment - Karen, who is the one who moved on from Jim, unable to restrain her jealousy, and Jim, who's acted so unaffected, taking it as a gutpunch.
“You know, you deserve someone who likes everything about you, Jim,” she said softly into his ear. “Even your dancing.” Even without, you know, having a sense of what happens in the next chapter, this line is gorgeous.
And this Kelly seen and the underwear test is a really nice mixture of comedy and drama, in addition to being just... so Kelly... and leads into the next chapter quite well.
Author's Response:
Thanks as always for your help and for reviewing!
1 [Report This]Date: September 21, 2021 03:45 pm Title: Chapter Five
Ooh, this was such a great look into Jim’s mind. I love the Far Side Friend Zone cartoon image, it feels very Jim (and a good mix of funny and sad). The andirons line with Ryan is also genius! I know I sort of said this before, but I really love the Jim you’ve got here dealing with the Harry angst/sexual frustration in a very Jim way: the way you’ve written his feelings for Pam is still so pure and lovely. They’re so sweet with each other here. The entire scene in the Met is just gorgeous, I love the re-working of the jinx with Holly (also lol that she’s totally unfazed by it), and I really like the impressionist painting metaphor with their relationship. I can’t *wait* for the new years party - although I also need to know like yesterday what Pam’s original non-Felicity boxset present was for Jim…
This was another brilliant chapter! I’m loving this fic so much.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! I love that someone picked up on the and iron line, haha. New Years is coming up soon… :)
The Felicity boxset actually was the original gift, then Jim gave her his gift and she decided she would exchange it for something better (but never did, because she figured she couldn’t top his anyway).
Thanks for reading and reviewing as always!
1 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2021 06:01 pm Title: Chapter Five
Poor Jim, stuck in the friend zone.
Appreciate the Voldemort reference. Yup, he got himself into
a horo-crux of a situation. (Don't mind me, a bit loopy after fasting all day).
Another great job mixing the scenes and tying in lines for movie - I really appreciated that she was wearing a skirt (so you could get that line in - I know the movie really really well)
But what I really loved was the tour of the MEt and the stuff about the impressionists...and you know why.
Funny in all the time I lived in city, only went to the Met a few times - was a west side girl and with young kids our museum was Natural History. But due to my recent research have a pretty good sense of the inside of the Met and you nailed it.
The jinx bit was also well placed and lots of fun.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
1 [Report This]Date: September 15, 2021 06:04 pm Title: Chapter Five
This was a fluffy fluff ball if I've ever read one!
TD, this was.... UGH EVERYTHING! I know angst is on the horizon, but this little fluffy moment was everything. SO GOOD!
1 [Report This]Date: September 14, 2021 04:15 pm Title: Chapter Five
TD, I love this story. Like, really really love it.
"There was a definite conflict within him: between the Jim who loved having Pam for a best friend and the Jim who wanted to press her up against the door of his apartment and kiss every single platonic thought out of her brain." Ugh. Kiss her against your door, Jimbo. DO IT.
I love how you worked in the jinx and how you continue to build this tension between them! I can't waaaaaaait to read about the party!!
Author's Response: thank you so much! and yes i love a gala trope… her we come…
1 [Report This]Date: September 14, 2021 11:48 am Title: Chapter Five
Ooooh. The angst is delicious. DEL.IC.IOUS. And pretty comically rendered! I really liked the Far Side-cartoon image of Jim in the friend zone and the adaptation of the batting cage scene (and mix of remixed Office lines and remixed WMHS lines, because Ryan is definitely Harryesque) is really well executed.
Pam's sheer joy at seeing him again is sweet, and the tour is highly enjoyable. The Temple of Dendur description was neat (really, this is a pretty effective tourist pitch for New York), and the use of La Grande Jatte as noted works on so many levels here... as does the way impressionist painting becomes a metaphor for the messiness of the relationship viewed up close. And bringing in the beauty of ordinary things to describe impressionism is a really strong connection.
LINDA. TRIPP. I'm getting nostalgic.
"He didn’t want to tell her that what he was looking at was actually the most beautiful woman he’d ever known." Oh, Jim.
Oh, and this is SUCH a fun version of the jinx. I love getting Holly's very bemused reaction to it. She and Michael really are well matched...
1 [Report This]Date: September 13, 2021 09:58 pm Title: Chapter Five
There's the Jim pining I was thinking was going to happen. Clearly he wants more than just friendship. We know Pam does too. Jim's fit of jealousy when he hears she went on a date is evidence enough without all the other thoughts racing through his head. Of course she's on his mind constantly.
Loved the tour she took him on through the Met. They're so delightful with each other. Him seeing her come alive while walking past all the artwork was lovely. Even more so with the jinx game. They're wonderfully playful with each other. Really looking forward to this New Year's party. Will it be the tipping point or will something else get in the way. My JAM loving heart hopes nothing else gets in the way, but this is Jim and Pam we're talking about. Regardless, great chapter. I liked it a lot.
Author's Response:
haha well your Jam loving heart is in MY hands, muahahahaha… so there’s still a fair amount of angst and bad communication to come. 😈 thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: September 07, 2021 09:51 am Title: Chapter Four
I FINALLY found to time to start this and I'm hooked!! I love this idea and you write AU so well. I love all the nods to canon and your characterization of them is spot on as always.
I need aaaaaallllll the NY Jam please. Can't wait to read more!!
Author's Response: Yay! Excited to write more, haha
Date: September 06, 2021 04:53 pm Title: Chapter Four
"It wouldn’t be the same as having him next to her, but it was the next best thing.
Better than nothing."
I love it when you tell me something isn't angsty.
(Seriously, though, this was great. Jim giving Pam pajamas? Ugh, so cute.)
1 [Report This]Date: September 06, 2021 02:50 pm Title: Chapter Four
Ahh I think this was my favourite chapter yet, it was so perfect. Jim turning up at the gallery to finally give her the Christmas she wants, the pyjamas, the ice-skating, the rooftop…(also I’m slightly now wishing it was Christmas). And I’m loving their ergo/hence banter. And Holly as Pam’s friend/mentor!
The shared TV watching is adorable - I loved that in the movie, so thank you so much for bringing that here and making it so great and Jammy :) I’m really enjoying Pam’s slowly-developing feelings for Jim and her secret pining, especially with the pyjamas at the end - this bit was so good, and really stung:
‘The unarticulated thought sat in her chest like a stone. When she wasn’t actively wondering whether Jim had feelings for her, things were fine. Things were actually great. But anytime something reminded her he did not, she felt it acutely.’
The insight into Jim’s relationship with Karen is also a very interesting take. Can’t wait to see Jim’s POV on all of this!
Date: September 05, 2021 04:27 pm Title: Chapter Four
So this was so very well written. It's great to see their relationship progressing so much. Lots of ways we see and feel the Jim and Pam we know and love. The two buddies who always want to be around each other. They laugh and joke with each other which is a ton of fun. Loved Jim's line about Alan Rickman falling off the building in slo-mo. For the record, I'm team Jim here. Die Hard is 100% a Christmas movie.
Really interesting take on Pam's feelings. Granted she's had more time to process getting over her last relationship, but it almost seems as if she's the one pining this time rather than Jim. Really feels like she's ready to move past friendship with Jim but he's the one who is not quite there yet.
Loved their talk on the roof. Felt like Pam had some great insights. Also always good to see them actually talking rather than skirting around issues. Really looking forward to seeing where they go from here in that regard. Great job.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Hopefully it only feels like Jim isn’t pining because Pam doesn’t believe he is… but next chapter we will get Jim pov, so you’ll get some clarity on that front.
Date: September 05, 2021 03:38 pm Title: Chapter Four
I was so excited to see this new chapter up and it didn’t disappoint! Just that I know we’re going to have to relive a lot of them dancing round each other, aren’t we!
Author's Response: We certainly are, lol 😂 hang in there!
Date: September 05, 2021 02:06 pm Title: Chapter Four
So I came onsite to post and then saw you did and naturally started reading before I did anything else.
Another great chapter that took the best of both and married them in the best possible way.
Once more I must say your writing is so good, really descriptive and engaging.
Even though I've never seen Felicity I know the premise and it serves a good substitution for Casablanca - even better as it is a weekly show they can enjoy together.
Adored the who ice skating/pajama gift/roof top dinner and grilled cheese arc... and I remember you sharing your recipe back when it was Grilled Cheese Day
“And sometimes when you’re lonely you do stupid things, I guess,” he added quietly.
This line seems important.
Oh and some NYC validation - yes you are right, Central Park much better than Rockefeller Center (the best was actually Bryant park but it wasn't open yet at the time of your story)
Really great read as always.
Author's Response:
“And sometimes when you’re lonely you do stupid things, I guess,” he added quietly.
This line seems important.
You definitely see where that's going, ha! Thanks for reading and for your review!
1 [Report This]Date: September 05, 2021 01:24 pm Title: Chapter Four
It's a lot of fun having Jim and Pam back to their usual best-friends-mutually-pining ways. There's a lot of DEEPLY cute stuff in this chapter - I loved their just-on-the-safe-side-of-flirty phone call (REALLY good dialogue there) and Jim having subtly replaced Roy in her fantasies and the reshaping of Michael's birthday and their ice skating adventure and Pam's new pajamas. Lot of really good details here. (It's a fun remix of both Michael's Birthday AND The Client).
It's nice that even in this state, Jim is clearly filling a role that sorely needed filling for Pam... seems like they both are. They're a salve to each other's loneliness in a lonely and semi-apocalyptic-feeling city. And you did well with balancing Pam's joy at having someone filling that emotional role for her and her angst at not being able to take the next step.
Author's Response: Thanks so much as always for your amazing help!
Date: August 30, 2021 11:32 pm Title: Chapter Three
Wow, so bringing 9/11 into this one. Bold move, but you did it well here. Feels like Jim was able to do some soul searching and realize what was important and what wasn't and make some probably hard but right choices. Then he has some time to clear his head and when he does, there's Pam.
Feels like she's also had time to do some soul searching too. So now they're both single. Their connection is still there and maybe, just maybe this time they'll let it bloom a bit more. At least that's what it feels like considering how this chapter ended.
Nice work.
1 [Report This]Date: August 28, 2021 05:10 am Title: Chapter Three
Coming from someone who lived in Manhattan during 9/11 (although was out of the country on my Honeymoon at the time - which is a whole other experience) you've captured well the aftermath and the mood of the city post-tragedy.
Once again you have done a good job combining the two pieces - the football game with Ryan and Michael worked well..Ryan and his not me and this is just hardware like worked well. I am a little confused though - Jim is from PA?
The phone systems were down, you know, and I could not get through.
until we were allowed to go home. And when we did, nothing looked the same.
These two lines really hit home for me - but for my own reasons I'm sure you can imagine.
I really enjoy this stronger Pam/Sally combo - the new lines, Last Christmas he said goodbye to me, again, and told me he loved me, and I just said back: ‘I don’t think you do.’” followed by the ones I can hear Meg Ryan saying.
And the way you point out its the tire changing side of her in play really sums it up well.
Looking forward to seeing Jim's breakdown (if you go that way) - even if Karen wasn't meant for him - the ego blow hits hard but more so the developing friendship - (I also thought it smart to drop in the rebound bit as a reason he doesn't go right for it).
1 [Report This]Date: August 27, 2021 06:18 pm Title: Chapter Three
This shit HURT! Ouch, 9/11 stories always hurt me, and this was no exception.
Poor Jim…for something such as this affecting both him AND Karen? As much as I knew that their relationship wouldn’t last, it hurts that THIS is what caused it to end.
Ew, Ryan.
HIM OFF TO FIND PAM AND MAKE SURE SHE WAS SAFE BOTH WARMED MY HEART AND RUINED ME! I’m happy they’re now trying to be friends (hopefully more!)
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Em!
1 [Report This]Date: August 27, 2021 06:14 pm Title: Chapter Two
I love this Kelly and Pam friendship SO MUCH! We are all Kelly in this scenario: seeing potential in Jim and the lack of such in Roy.
LOVED this chapter!
1 [Report This]Date: August 27, 2021 02:37 pm Title: Chapter Three
So I actually re-watched WHMS this week because it’s been a while, and I have to say… I like your version so much better. Not that Harry and Sally don’t eventually get there, but there’s much more genuine warmth between the way you’ve written Jim and Pam here, and it really is lovely. I thought the use of 9/11 in this chapter as a life-changing, bonding experience between the two of them was really well done. The scene with Michael and Ryan at the football game is brilliant (also Ryan’s ‘it’s not me, I swear’, LOL), and I’m greatly enjoying the potential set-up for some future Michael and Holly…
And then Jam in the gallery!! I loved every moment of their interaction, and Pam’s growth from Roy - and Pam being the one to ask Jim out (I know, I know, as a ‘friend’) was the icing on the cake. I really can’t wait to see what’s coming next!
Author's Response: Your review made me so happy, thank you! I agree that Harry/Sally have such a different dynamic from the start than Jim/Pam ever would, so it’s really been a fun challenge to get *them* right while trying to stay true to what’s going on in the film. Things are going to get messy soon… 😬 (whoops!) Thanks again so much for your feedback!