COLD OPEN:

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN OFFICE - MORNING

Michael is sitting at his desk, talking on the phone.  There is a pile of unopened mail on his desk.

MICHAEL:
So, I just got off the phone with your producer.  Apparently, the three of you will not be filming after Friday.  While I am sorry you will no longer be with us, I want to stress that this was not my decision and therefore not my fault.

Camera crew speaks, inaudible.  Think Charlie Brown's teacher.

I didn't realize they sent me a letter.
 [goes through pile of unopened mail, finds letter]
Postmarked October 12th.  Whoops, thought this was a bill.
 [reads the letter to himself]
So nobody wants to buy our documentary?  Well, we still have until the end of the week... so...

Michael walks out into the main office area, poising himself to make an announcement.  Stops next to Jim's desk, where Jim is on the phone.  Michael waits a few moments until Jim is done with his call.

Announcement everybody.  I just received unfortunate news.  The camera crew, who we've had in our office for the last three and a half years, will be leaving us after this Friday.

Camera pans around the office; everyone looks a little sad.

Apparently you people aren't exciting enough and no one wants to buy our show.  I can't do it all myself.  I can't continue to run around like the village idiot in order to give the cameras something to film.

Camera pans to Jim who raises his eyebrow and gives a half smile.

So everyone needs to pull out the stops.  This is the last week, so you need to step up your game. 

Camera will pan to whom Michael mentions in succession.

Pam... show more cleavage.  You got 'em, flaunt 'em.
 
Jim is smiling and nodding in agreement.
 
Jim, you're the cool guy, put together some stand up or magic tricks or something, I'll bring you one of my spare magic sets. Dwight, just keep selling, this place still needs to make money.  Phyllis, don't you have a background in burlesque?

PHYLLIS:
 [smiles]
Yes, I do Michael, I'm surprised that you remember...

MICHAEL:
Of course I remember Phyllis.  Do you think you could teach Pam, Angela and Kelly how to be burlesque-ish?

Phyllis looks dejected.
 
Speaking of Kelly, we should move her desk in here.  She adds an ethnic flair.  Under no circumstances do I want the cameras in the annex.  I'm sure it's Toby's fault that they haven't been able to sell this documentary.
 [to Angela]
Can you teach Kelly how to become an accountant?  Something where she won't have to talk. 

Angela looks appalled.

Stanley, can we hire Melissa as a temp for the rest of the week?  Is she out of school yet?  That would raise our hot factor by about 10.

STANLEY: 
No, no and no.

MICHAEL:
Creed, do you have any time off coming up?  Maybe you should take the week off.  And take Meredith with you.  Kevin, I don't even know what to do with you.  Oscar, did you want to get in on the burlesque lessons?  You might appeal to a different audience.  The gay Mexican demographic.

ANDY:
How can I help, oh great leader?

MICHAEL:
I'm not sure yet... hey... does your dad own a media company?  Maybe he could buy the documentary.

-OPENING SEQUENCE-