Chapter-5 

The Truth (s)

Well the plan was already set in motion, they both were going to interview in New York, on her insistence and his agreement. While Jim was now..civil with Pam, he was not too friendly and that was perfect for Karen. Yet she could not take any more chances and made up her mind. She asked him if he wants to make a weekend out of this trip to NYC and he was game and Karen was pleasantly surprised. This is it, their first time away and she was going to make this one count.

The ride was fun and she, almost, convinced him that this could be their chance to get out of Scranton for good. After all what’s there in that small city full of..unimportant people, insignificant memories and…..unfinished feelings.

The night was better than she imagined. They did a lot of bar hopping and Jim seemed to be enjoying himself.. It’s working, she had finally managed to get Jim out of that city, out of state- both literally and figuratively. He was smiling throughout and they were having a good timeWell to be completely honest, he didn’t laugh once throughout. He smiled but never laughed, not like how he cackled with Pam and Karen didn't remember if he ever, with her. This bothered her a bit but she wanted to take baby steps and not make a big deal out of it. They are here and everything is going to change tomorrow. Big day !!

Jim didn't sleep all night, kept tossing and turning that she almost had an urge to ask him to take another room. But she asked him gently what it was and he said it’s just nerves. A lie slipped so apparent that Karen lost the will to argue. Jim Halpert, who never took his job seriously, always slacking off, was not even as thrilled to interview is restless to be promoted in this paper company. Who was he kidding ? Well, she for one wanted to get some peace to ensure the interview goes well because stakes were high, too high. 

Dunder Mifflin Headquarters. She was a little anxious, like Jim’s nervousness was rubbing off on her. There was something amiss but she reminded herself that even if she won’t get the promotion herself but Jim does, she would still be amongst the top rankers and she can’t wait for everything to work out. She looked up at Jim and he was smiling still yet felt more for the appearances than for real. She almost wanted to dismiss it as interview jitters but just couldn’t for some reason. She wasn’t ready to ask him what it was and Jan and Michael’s drama had the perfect timing. She made the joke about Jan, hoping for some levity but Jim was not phased. She didn’t see why anyone would feel sympathies for someone as unhinged as Jan, but she didn’t wish to push him. She was feeling a bit suffocated with his difference and the entire facade and left to see her friends to get some fresh air. She was sure it was a brief ‘interlude’ before they could fall back on track.

At the fountain he looked so happy from the distance that Karen’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe he got selected and Jim is here to share the good news. Perhaps all her doubts were nothing. The smile stayed until he saw her and then he looked..scared. 

And before she could ask him how the interview was, he blurted out that “he can’t do this”. She stalled, feigning oblivion ,asking what he meant. Tears were already stinging her eyes and somehow she knew what’s happening is not going to be pleasant. He said how they might not be the best people for each other and that made her snap. It was exactly the same thing what Pam told Michael during that mall trip. Have they been seeing each other behind her back? Have they been planning this for all this while. But he denied the moment she accused him of cheating. Karen knew he wasn’t lying because he looked alarmed the moment she suggested that. He asked her in a desperate tone to believe him. He could never. And she knew he wasn’t lying. Jim Halpert was many things but not a cheater. He had a torch for the receptionist for God knows how long, but he couldn’t..didn’t sneak around her back. He did look pathetic in his plea to convince her that he never betrayed her.

But he did. Just never behind her back but right in front of her which she was too blind to see or probably too weak to believe. He never got over her and yet asked her to come to Scranton. And now when she was ready to uproot her life yet again for him, he finally had the gall to tell her that it isn’t working. 

She wanted to slap him, hug him, wanted to pretend again that they can move past this but resolve in his eyes was something she has never seen before. This is the passion she was seeking, while they were together, until 2 hours ago.... It feels like a lifetime now. 

She took it out on him, accusing him of being a coward,selfish,ignorant and more but each word felt like it had a boomerang effect. Every little detail of their “lack of relationship” flashed back to her..

And now, after shooing away Jim, she soaked up the reality , like she just woke up from a long drawn dream. Jim was never the guy she was falling for .He was passionate, charming and hard working but all of it was a cover for the yearning of his heart. The moment they stepped foot in Scranton was the day his mask fell and it was all there but just too naive to really see. She should’ve gone with her gut feeling on her first day, when Pam stopped at Jim’s desk falling into this easy banter, her eyes keep gazing up at him while he looked so happy and content.She knew then that there’s a part of Scranton Jim she never met in Stamford. Who knew that a girl like Karen, the sleek professional, would be dumped by a guy like Jim (a slacker and a dork) for a girl like Pam. A part of her felt a bit guilty and petty for thinking of Pam as plain. She was everything (but that).

She cried in that hotel room, for the longest time. She thought she was winning this battle just yesterday, but now she knows that it was never a fight. There was never a trophy, she was just a means to an ending, their happy ending. It was never her story..