- Text Size +
Story Notes:

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Chapter Notes:

Originally posted 17 July 2021

Enjoy!

Karen,

I’m the last person you wanna hear from right now, and I get it. But I wanted to make something clear.

I deserved being torn a new one before you left for Utica. I deserved the awkward encounter we had today. And you don’t deserve everything I did to you. I strung you along. You were a rebound. I did everything to convince you I was over Pam, and I wasn’t. And — as much as you hate to hear it — I’m sorry. Because apologies are all I have left to give. And I’ve given so many at this point, they feel hollow. But what the fuck else am I supposed to say?

Well, I’ll say this: Did you really want the two of us lying to each other? To end up trapped in a marriage where neither of us could give a hundred percent? The two of us constantly living in denial resulting in a messy divorce, probably with a kid who wouldn’t deserve that? Because, let’s not kid ourselves, that would have happened. And I prevented that from happening. I hurt you, but I made the right choice for me. And for you.

We fought constantly. We barely agreed on anything. Every moment we had together felt forced. We were both putting on a performance, not just me. I started to shut up. In the end, you called all the shots because it was just easier to deal with. And yet you were that damn determined to keep me around. Why? You had plenty of opportunities to dump my sorry ass, but you didn’t. I decided to let you mold me back into who I was in Stamford when we both knew it was pointless. “Stamford Jim” never existed, that part of my life is dead. And I’m happy it’s dead. Fuck Utica, Stamford can burn to the ground. Quite frankly, I wish I never transferred there, and I know you feel the same way about Scranton.

And yeah, I grew my hair back. I like it that way. Because it’s Jim, not “Stamford Jim.”

And don’t you dare put anything on Pam. In fact, I hurt her more than I hurt you. Say what you want about her speech on Beach Day, I pushed her to that point. I pushed her to go back to Roy instead of being honest with myself. But let’s be real: you weren’t honest with you, either. We were never honest with each other. Name one time we were. You can’t.

I’ve done worse than you did. I’ve done shit I’m still forgiving myself for. But it takes two, Karen. You knew how I felt about Pam ever since I admitted I still had feelings for her. That was the biggest red flag, and yet you were the one that wanted to talk things out, and by that I mean several shouting matches and copious amounts of make-up sex.

And the reason I went with Michael and Dwight? Yeah, it wasn’t for a visit. I’m perfectly capable of calling you, “like an adult.” It was to prevent them from messing up worse than they already did.

Oh, and by the way: Stanley just wanted to get a raise out of Michael. He was never going to move to Utica. You’re not taking Stanley.

I wanted to be with you Karen, and I know you wanted to be with me, too. But that part of our lives is over. For both of us. Move on. I have, and I feel great, better than I’ve been in years. Do the same, it feels great.

I’ll pay for the printer. I owe you that much.

— Halpert


Halpert,

I’m the last person you wanna hear from right now, and I get it. But I wanted to make something clear.

You screwed me over, Halpert, and you know that. But I screwed myself over, too.

I should have moved to New York when I had the chance. I should have walked out with Tony when I had the chance. I should have broken up with you the moment you said you still had feelings for her. I’m smarter than this. I’m more intuitive than this. And honestly, I don’t even hate Pam anymore. I thought she was a bitch for what she said at the beach, but looking back, it makes sense; you both are terrible at communication, by the way. And if you break her heart again, I’m kicking your ass, but I know that’s not going to happen. You tried your best not to talk about it, even though that’s all you wanted to do, not even out of malice. Hell, you look healthier. You’re head over heels. And you know what? I’m happy for you. Both. And I mean that.

I thought I could finally get over you. Just like you tried to get over her. But seeing you in that women’s warehouse outfit, with a fake mustache, it brought it all back. All that anger, resentment, jealousy, and missed opportunities. I derived a sick pleasure watching you squirm out of my office looking like that. And the moment you left, I felt nothing but shame. I felt humiliated because I allowed you to have such a hold on me, still. I guess it’s because I thought we had a future, but that future was never going to happen, as badly as I wanted it to. We were just mismatched.

When I want something, I go for it. I wanted you, but you were never mine to have. I didn’t want to give up, even though I should have. I never accept that sometimes that’s the better option.

I’m still royally pissed at you. But I don’t blame you for how you feel. I don’t blame you if you’re pissed at me after how I acted earlier. And I need to say something, something that I never said enough: I’m sorry, Jim. I genuinely am. And I need to move on. Let things go. Just… it takes me time. And it’ll take me more after today. You get it.

Give Pam my best.

Also, you’re paying for that printer. You owe me that much.

— Karen


“Halpert?”

“…Heeey, Karen.”

“…Look, about—“
“I just wanted to— oh, ladies first.”

“About what happened with the whole printer thing, I wanted to apologize for how I acted.”

“I mean, hell, I don’t blame you.  I hated myself after that, too.”

“Still, I acted like a total bitch, and you-you didn’t deserve that.”

“Look, all water under the bridge.  Truth be told, I only went with Michael and Dwight so no one could get hurt.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“It’s a relief, then, that they only hurt themselves.”

“Haha, Really, though… How’s Pam?”

“She’s doing well.  Um, she’s visiting with her family right now.”

“Good, good.  Did she find out about—“

“Yup.”

“I’m sure it was Ronaldo.”

“Yyyup.”

“God, he’s such a gossip.  The moment he heard the name ‘Jim,’ his ears perked up.”

“I doubt he’s as bad as Kelly.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Wow.  …It was good seeing you.”

“Likewise.  Oh, one more thing?”

“Yeah?”

“You still owe me for the printer.”

“Expect that check in the mail soon.”

“Grazie.”

Well, that went better than I expe

“Jim!”

“David, hi!”

“Glad you could make it.”

“Me, too.”

“Hey, I got your email about the website, I was curious about that.”

Oh fuck, Ryan’s right over there.  “Yeah, let’s talk about that later tonight.”



3vasectomies is the author of 10 other stories.

This story is part of the series, Episode Relateds. The next story in the series is Procedure.

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans

Come discuss fanfiction and writing at the MTT forums!