10

Aw.  Now I feel better -- I was watching The Merger last night.  Ouch.  I really like how you handled the moment of tension over Karen here.  It was very subtle and believable.

Author's Response: Ouch is right!  Who watches The Merger on purpose?  ;-)  Thanks for reviewing, thirtypercent!!

Ha!  I like this a lot.  Particularly Jim's Law & Order talking head.  Because... so true.

Author's Response: I\'m glad that you liked Jim\'s TH. Yeah, it really is, whether or not it\'s the original or not, I don\'t know, but USA and TNT are like a 24-hour a day L and O marathon....kinda annoying sometimes. Anyway, thanks for the review thirtypercent.

10

Aww, poor Michael.  I think you did a great job of getting into his head -- now we know where his mix of naivety, eagerness to please, and admiration for the Todd Packers of the world comes from.  And I loved the shoe tree. :)

Author's Response: Thanks, thirtypercent! I love thinking the way Michael thinks, it's so bizarre and so much fun. I figured the shoe tree would be right up his alley! Thanks for the review!

Ok, that opening Pam/Karen conversation was beautifully awkward -- something I could definitely see on the show.  I think painful attempts at etiquette are more realistic than Jerry Springer-style blow-outs, and I thought you did a really good job with that. 

Karen trying to kiss Jim in the office felt kind of out-of-character to me (the awkward conversation seemed more real), but of course that's a matter of opinion.  I liked Pam's rambling monologue at the end. :)

There's just something about this story that I'm going to go ahead and try to articulate (probably unsuccessfully, but what the hey).  

So I'll be reading along, and then wham, a line will just... hit me in the heart.  Something that just lends this immediacy to the story and adds another layer to these characters.  Like these two lines:

“I popped,” she said, and she sounded so pitiful, I put my arms around her and kissed her neck. 

...her skipping around the yard saying ‘this is all ours!’

I think what I love about it (and this is true of the show too, and one of the reasons I think it's so good) is that we're not just told "Jim loves Pam" in some sort of generic flowery way, but we actually see it, and see why, in the little things she does that makes her unique and the one for him.  And vice versa.  

So, now I've rambled, but to make a long story short (too late), I love it. :) 

10

Warning: long, rambling review ahead.  Almost as long as some of my chapters...

So, funny story.  At 5 a.m. I awoke to the sounds of my dog vomiting.  This is roughly five hours earlier than I usually wake up on Sundays.  I mean, it's still dark.  But I leapt out of bed, ran for my dog, and half carried, half dragged her away from the carpet and onto the tile in the nick of time.  Victory.  

Anyway.  Here I was thinking this 5 am adrenaline rush was unfortunate, but then I think "hey, I'll check MTT for updates."  (What?  Obsessed?  Me?)  And voila.  Allentown!  

Oh wait, did I say funny story?  What I meant was "rather gross story that was also perhaps too much information."

At any rate, I decided to wait til later to review, in the interests of coherency.  Not that a vomiting dog story actually fits that description, but whatever.

Once again, of course, another amazing chapter.  Pam finally finding the right path, everyone there to see her walk, wanting her daughter to be there and be proud of her, Jim with Natalie’s chin resting on his head, the mosaic metaphor (also: honorable mention to the mucous plug shout-out).  Just amazing.  

But on a higher level than just this chapter, I also wanted to say that watching this story unfold has been remarkable.  I know you said you’ve been reawakening writing muscles and finding your own inspiration again, and it’s so visible here.  This story started out really good and became something incredible.  It’s brought the past, present, and future of these characters to life for me in a way that no other story has.  Actually, forget “these characters;” it’s an inspiring piece of writing in its own right, with or without The Office.  Congratulations on getting through it.  I look forward to reading whatever you write next.  (Will it be steamy? ;) )



Author's Response:

Thirty, I'm just speechless.  I usually say that and follow it up with 500 words, but this time, I really mean it.  I don't even know what to say and 'thank you' just doesn't seem to be enough, but that's all I have.  Thank you.  I may print this out and stick it on the refrigerator so I can read it every morning before I start my day out in the real world.  Thank you.

I may have a little steam built up that's waiting to blow off.  God, that sounds dirty! :)   How about you?  Next chapter of Shift?  Come on, give the people what they want!

HA.  That was excellent.  I love the way you write these characters -- even Jim's thoughts sound like Jim:

They'd just, do away with the tape afterwards...or like...take it with them...

That definitely put a smile on my face. :) 

Aww.  Jim as a teenager.  I really like the way his personality came through here --  irreverent when he doesn't care about something, but extremely, uh, motivated when he does. ;)  I'm exited for the next two chapters.

Also, is it weird that I keep reading the story title as "Strip"? 

10

Ohh kayyy.  I've officially melted.  I'll admit, I do have a weakness for Jim's hair in general and Pam putting her fingers through it in particular, but this chapter just has such a feeling of... rightness between the two of them.  I love it.  Also: the Hooters exchange cracked me up.


Author's Response: Rightness...hooray for that. For me, their relationship has the strongest pulse when it feels ordinary. Not melodramatic, just natural, just what is. And really - when Hooter's comes to mind that readily, it's a sure sign of spending too much time with Michael, lol. Thanks so much for your great reviews, thirtypercent!

10

Oh, I like this.  I think it's my favorite so far of the holiday fics, and makes me feel a little better about not getting a Christmas episode this year.  It has great Jim/Pam moments and the ensemble interaction down pat.  I especially liked the Dwight/Andy ping pong exchange, and the title Michael chose for the charity event.  "(And Oscar)".  Ha!  Looking forward to an update. :)

Author's Response: Thank you 30%!  I was really nervous about posting this one...and truthfully I feel like I've gotten myself into it now.  I mean how do you write a 4 way conversation plus ping pong...  yikes.  I'm glad you are enjoying it.  Happy New Year!

Hee.  I grinned like a maniac through most of this.  Especially at this line:

‘Lose something down there?’

Hee, hee.  Sorry, I don't seem to have much in the way of actual words at the moment. Oh wait, but also this line:

She pressed her lips to the warm spot where his hair brushed his collar, lingering there for a second so she could feel his pulse beating beneath his skin.  

So warm and sweet and intimate. 

I'm curious how the never-been-to-Paris storyline will play out, but I also know that even if it's difficult, they'll be able to get through it together.  What's that?  These aren't real people?  Psh.  But I'm pretty sure we have similarish views on the strength of their relationship, so, yeah, I hope so at least.... ;)

10

That last paragraph, and particularly that last line, really made this story for me.  Such an eerie, alluring mix of hope and hopelessness -- it gave me goosebumps.  Also, I think this was a great use of the second-person perspective.

Ah, so cute!  I loved Pam's talking head about this (hence the username), and I think this is my favorite interpretation  of the hypocrite conversation so far. :)

Author's Response:

Thanks thirty!!  Pam's so cute in that talking head and I'm not gonna lie - I just like the idea of them wrestling on the couch. I'm very glad you liked it. :)