Date: February 02, 2022 12:39 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Empty inside
Love the Penny voice here, and I think this is an important insight about the interconnections that would have formed between Pam and Roy's family - after ten years, they may as well be her family already. Not to mention the sheer amount of history between them spending so much of their formative years together. I think you're correctly identifying that that would be a weight on Pam.
Dear Lorde this Roy is awful though. What a jerk!
Author's Response:
Exactly. One can't wipe history of a relationship which involves two families by just saying you don't want to be together. There are people concerned and feelings involved and that complicates things way more.
Thanks for liking my Penny. I didn't want to make her come across as someone who doesn't care about Pam's emotions but she was young and naive since she has lived away and doesn't know much how her sister has been feeling lately.
Date: February 02, 2022 08:13 am Title: Chapter 6 - Empty inside
So this does give us some more context as to why this is so hard for Pam. She knows it's not just her and Roy that would be upset. There are so many other people who would be affected in the fallout. As Pam says in canon, she doesn't like it when people think bad of her. She'd rather sacrifice her own happiness in order to avoid other people from being hurt or thinking bad of her. While it can be an honorable trait to sacrifice one's own desires for other people, it can also open oneself up to a life where one never does anything for oneself and thus any chance of true happiness goes away. That's what I see when I read the part where Pam thinks about going home. Home is just there. Nothing new or exciting or even really welcoming. It's just there.
Author's Response: Thanks @warrior4. That's how I feel happens to many people who end up marrying the wrong person knowingly because the drama of saying No is too much to take at that point and you choose other's people happiness over yours. Pam has been very compassionate throughout the series and I guess calling off the wedding and not caring is just not her. And yeah, once you have lived at a place for years, after losing the feeling for that place - it's just home and not anything you connect with.