Date: March 21, 2007 04:45 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head
Squiffy chapter about Jim and Pam having wild, passionate monkey sex?
BRING IT ON! :)
Author's Response: You realize you put this review in Chapter 1 reviews? Anyone who READs those reviews before deciding to read is going to be seriously, seriously, seriously disappointed. Note to all first time readers - there is no wild, passionate monkey sex for at least 35 chapters. 35 CHAPTERS OF non-monkey sex. Really, I wouldn't even bother reading anything that can not guarantee WILD, PASSIONATE MONKEY SEX by chapter five.
Date: March 21, 2007 11:12 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
One very large AWWW to Pam's best first date! Karen is a bitch. I just want to smack her. Hopefully... she'll be out of this girly picture soon? Hmmmmmmm?
Author's Response: I just want to smack her. Oh dear oh dear oh dear! It sounds like you have some issues, lama! Have you considered Anger Management class? Great place to meet single men!!!
Date: March 21, 2007 08:04 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
also - OMG!!! i forgot to mention how i loved the whole best first date thing. of course, because of the "date" pam describes but also meredith and angela's. hahaha. hilarious! "were they raised in a barn?" you are a great comedy writer. i love it!
Author's Response: Gah! You should have seen my first 5 drafts of Meredith's best first date. Soooo funny but soooo raunchy I was to embarrassed to post. I'm such a goody goody.
Date: March 21, 2007 07:36 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
Pressies!!!! oh just waht does jim have up his sleeve? huh? and i love that pam and jim are back to joking and talking on the phone, etc. nice to see. warms the heart actually! keep it coming....
10 [Report This]Date: March 21, 2007 07:17 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
I really like the pace of this story and I think your characterizations are dead-on! Keep it coming! :)
Author's Response: Thank you JinRain! I've already got the next 5 chapters outlined so they're definitely coming! (TWSS)
Date: March 21, 2007 07:11 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
Pam & Jim on the phone -- strangely hot. And swaying is dancing. Sort of. And of course, Karen has to ruin it all. And I'm still going a little nutso to find out what Jim is up to. Of course.
Author's Response:
Pam and Jim on the phone....you should read one of the suggestions in the reviews below... I totally dropped the ball on that one. Too Late Kev had an EXCELLENT suggestiion for an addition to the phone call. I'm kicking myself for missing it. I'd have to rewrite the whole thing to have it not freak either of them out. But I coulda done it! Dang it!
Well...Pam did say swaying was not dancing, no matter how very, very much I would like to disagree.
Lisahoo, you know everything Jim knows. You've read the email. You know what's in the bag! What would you do if you were Jim?
10 [Report This]Date: March 21, 2007 06:49 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
Okay, first? Definitely kidding about the condoms. Absolutely, positively. Second, I am not sure about the video, but I will definitely check into it. If you wish, I would be happy to email you the script. I did end up having my Michael sing SexyBack (with Dwight singing the ‘yeah’ and ‘take it to the chorus’… and dancing), I got in a ‘that’s what she said’ joke, and Dwight made many jokes about his beet farm. Of course, I took a lot of it straight from the show, since I had to fill 45 minutes. Anyway. Let me know! On to your awesome writing!
How incredibly cute are Jim and Pam? Cute isn’t even the right word. They’re like… I don’t know, but I can’t even stand it that’s how… whatever they are. Precious. Too freakin’ adorable for words. Oh, and the ladies of the office? Love them. Why can’t they give us interaction like this on the show? I love how Angela thinks Meredith is a total heathen… it’s too great. “That was not a date, Meredith. That was a sin. My date was very considerate and brought me a corsage and had a nice, firm handshake. Your “date” left twenty dollars on your nightstand.” Oh man, so, so funny! Although I have a theory that maybe Angela found God in her later years and was something of a rebel in her youth… just for the unexpected reveal of Meredith finding a picture of Angela with black hair, a leather mini-skit, a dog collar, and a nose ring. Moving on. The Pam/Jim first date? Quite possibly one of my favorite scenes ever. Then they had to go screw it up with drama. So thank YOU for making it not that way. Hehe I can’t wait to see what Jim is going to do. Hehe yay. Thanks so much for writing!Author's Response:
Absolutely, positively glad you were joking, Molly, because holy smokes!
SEXYBACK!!! Oh I have got to see this! I can so see Dwight...oh god. cringe!!!
It COULD go either way, couldn't it? Uptight, little Angela dropping out of ballet class so she won't look like a tiny prostitute or Angela in a leather miniskirt & dog collar. Both totally feasible.
Pam/Jim cute factor - two puppies cuddling in a field of daisies. They're that freakin' cute.
I agree about the interaction. Can Greg Daniels just admit that Ryan is not a main actor and bring the ladies up in the credit line? Thank you!!! Really though, I think Meredith & Angela should have their own show. Of course, it would have to be on Showtime...because of the R rating.
Date: March 21, 2007 06:35 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
Oh I can't wait to see what's in the bag. Michael's bday should be a blast.
Date: March 21, 2007 06:15 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
gobbedly gook nerd blehh? hahahahahahaha. I continue to love love love the backstories in here - Angela's first day, her prom, Phyllis's performance review - I can SO see this all happening! You always leave me satisfied and smiling, Muggins ;)
Author's Response: Eeeeeeeewww! Don't let my boyfriend know that mcmuffins!
Date: March 21, 2007 06:10 am Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
No not Firefly, says the Whedon fan. wonder what Jim is doing. Can't wait to find out
Author's Response: Firefly is one STEAMY show. I think Angela would assume it was scripted by SATAN!
Date: March 21, 2007 05:57 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
So, so, good. I absolutely loved Jim's fake performance review of Michael. So perfect. How sweet that Pam is now looking at the events of The Client as a date. Aw! But, you DID forget about the show that night. (Was it Threat Level Midnight? Something like that.)
And... I would like to know about what Karen considers her first date with Jim. Was it when she had a drunk Jim in her SUV and totally took advantage of him? Drinks at Coopers after the deadly PLoD discussion of The Merger? Or something in between? Don't keep us in suspense.
I think Klutz is with a "K".
Don't you think every really good daughter should end a telephone conversation with he mom with an "I Love You"? It's only good etiquette for those who bring us into the world.
And, I have 3 kids and am fortunate enough NEVER to have set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese. Life is kind to me.
"Have your tried turning the volume down?" reminds me of that line (maybe from a deleted scene) about ring tones "you mean, vibrate?" Love that - so perfect.
Thanks for more girly-girl, Muggins. You know I love girl-talk.
Author's Response:
I didn't forget the SHOW but since Pam wasn't ALONE with him, I figured she didn't count it. Plus I needed to trim my word count. ;)
Karen's first date with Jim....is something I don't want to think about...either Drunk!Jim! in SUV or at Cooper's. Not much humor in either scenario for me. They actually make me a little sick because both would have been AWKWARD motivationally. Plus, I still want to disbelieve that Jim and Karen are really dating. I have a very resilient willpower in that respect.
Klutz is ABSOLUTELY spelled with a 'K'. I should have clarified that Jim wanted Michael to have a mispelled word tattoed on his forehead.
Life IS very kind to you. Chuck E. Cheese is INSANE. I could not imagine Stanley going there in a million years. That's why I sat giggling while writing I was writing it. I think he would stay in the car.
Dang it! You are so right about ending that phone call with an "I love you!" What was I thinking!!! Crapola. Another JAM opportunity missed. Shoot.
Date: March 21, 2007 05:53 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
I used to wonder if Angela has always been so frigid, but I think the whole Prom thing answered that for me. I bet she was on the Prom planning committee and cried when she learned someone had spiked the punch.
The whole thing with Michael is hilarious. I can imagine him riding around Scranton with super bass rattling house windows, then he'd get out and do his best Prison Mike.
Karen is really starting to annoy me. It's like she waits for an opportunity to throw something about Jim in Pam's face. I can't wait until Pam snaps, that should be fun.
Author's Response:
I think Angela was a very tense child. I'd like to hear more about that relationship with her sister.... I bet they were competitive.
Prison Mike on the streets of Scranton telling the homey's about the Dementors! How has he not been publicly beaten up?
Poor Karen. She's playing a losing game. There's no way that I can see her winning on the show. I like that on the show she does fun things with Pam but I've noticed there's always an undercurrent of meanness. Like Benihana Christmas - it was get back at Angela. Ben Franklin - ragging down the Ben impersonator. Those are the two scenes where she seems most comfortable in Scranton and in both of them...not so nice. She's a complex character. I wish we knew more about her.
Date: March 21, 2007 04:52 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
Don't think its the presents that Michael wants in that bag. And Pam's best first date is with Jim also :) hehe. And the phone call was great.
Author's Response: I think Michael would be flattered to get ladies underwear, condoms, and a portable stereo from Jim. Actually, I think Michael would be flattered by any gift he got from Jim. Jim could give him a box of dead ants and Michael would be like "MMMM...this is a delicious treat from Africa, quite the delicacy!!" He'd probably pop a couple in his mouth right there.
Date: March 21, 2007 03:19 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
"Have you tried turning the volume down?"
OH MY....I laughed so hard at that. "What do you think I am? An idiot?"
YYYYESSSSSSS!
I loved it but I REALLY loved Pam's phone call to Jim and how he played along.
"You're an...attractive woman Mom."
"Why thank you. I don't think I've received that compliment before."
That darn Karen...always getting in the way!
More more more please! And I will be so sad when this ends because, well, all good things come to an end. I just don't want to think about it. *sob sob*
Author's Response: Yeah, I'm dreading the day chapter 15,000 comes around too. How will I tie up all the loose threads? It'll be tough. Meanwhile though I've got to write a squiffy chapter about Pam and Jim having wild, passionate monkey sex.
Date: March 21, 2007 12:52 am Title: Chapter 35 - Pam's best first date
I love this story like a fat kid loves easter candy!
The phone convo had me laughing. Stupid Karen always ruins everything! Doesn't she know Pam is trying to get in her boyfriends pants? Can't she give her a little space! Geez. ;)
Author's Response:
mmmm....easter candy...yesterday I ate all the jelly bean eggs from the Easter Basket I made for my niece. Last night, I went out and bought more. Right now those jelly beans are staring at me through three walls and they are calling my name...Muggins...Muggins...Muggins....
Okay! I'm back!!!! I think Karen has figured out that Pam is trying to get into her boyfriend's pants. What sucks is that JIM hasn't figured it out yet. What I need you to do, hildawookie, is call Jim and INFORM him of that fact. ASAP. I would but I have more jelly beans to eat!!!
Date: March 20, 2007 08:15 pm Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
Oh wow. I haven't been able to read this since Friday or so and I've missed it sooooo much! Thanks for keeping it so fun.
Author's Response: Now Azlin. First rule of Attaining Zen: Never let real life interfere with your need to read Girly-Girl. My suggestions: quit your job, dump the family, swear off the opposite sex, stop eating, and refresh your MTT screen every five minutes. Updates come daily. Also...if you take any of my advice, I'll deny I've ever heard of you.
Date: March 20, 2007 06:37 pm Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
Sex and the Scranton City got you a huge laugh from me. Also, I had a major crush on Uncle Jesse. I got to see him play drums with the Beach Boys when I was tweenish. *sigh* WHAT IS JIM DOING? I hope the condoms are for Pam...
Author's Response:
okay, if I were twelve again that whole thing about seeing Uncle Jesse playing drums with old fogies like the Beach Boys would have made me swoon. But now, I'm like, The BEACH BOYS! You saw the Beach Boys? Holy Cow! And they let some two bit actor play drums for them? Explain that please. It would be like Sawyer from Lost playing the drums for the Rolling Stones. Okay, hot, but? The Drums? For the Rolling Stones???
The condoms are not for Pam. They are for SPOILER ALERT Dwight.
Date: March 20, 2007 12:23 pm Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
very fast-paced and funny. i'm enjoying every chappie. can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: i'm enjoying every chappie That's What She Said!!!
Date: March 20, 2007 10:30 am Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
Muggins! Are you kidding me? There are too many good things to say - I would have to cite half the lines!!!
Okay, my VERY favorite is probably all of the women answering things like Dwight!
Yay!
Author's Response: FACT: that was my favorite part too!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2007 08:54 am Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
Can I just say that I would loooove to see Jim slither into the office? And that anyone who calls me weird for saying that is secretly wishing for the very same thing?
Author's Response: I was rereading that because I always reread the last chapter right before I start writing a new chapter and I was like "Geez, I put a hell of a lot of slithers in that paragraph." I think I was kinda captivated by the idea of Jim slithering. To quote Pam: Did I say that too loud? I feel like I'm talking really loud....
Date: March 20, 2007 08:10 am Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
Oh my god Muggins, you're killing me with the funny! Angela = swan - PERFECT!!!! And them quoting Dwight? Question: Do you have a moat? hahahaahahahaha. And just the rest of it... and oh man, would I love to have seen the first time Pam's mom came to the office... another great chapter! More, please :)
Author's Response: I too would love to see the first time Pam's mom came to the office. Sometimes I wish it wasn't in documentary form so you could have flashbacks. Young Dwight! That would be popcorn-pleasing entertainment!!
Date: March 20, 2007 07:59 am Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
I am as serious as a person can be when talking about guard geese. I saw this thing attack another friends truck. I thought maybe this goose was demented but my friend confirmed to me that all geese are pretty aggressive. I'm from the country (think a small hick town in Mississippi) so I could tell you some stories you probably wouldn't believe.
Also, something else you probably won't believe... I've never seen Sex and the City. Not one episode.
Author's Response: Okay. I am no officially scared of geese. Maybe it wasn't so bad that Dwight hit one with his car and then tried to serve it up to the office staff. Whoo...Sex and the City...not a bad show. Plus...bonus...a Mormon man divorced one of his 6 wives because he caught her watching it...any show that a guy with six wives thinks is too racy...that's an interesting show to watch.
Date: March 20, 2007 06:59 am Title: Chapter 2 - Cat Allergies
great story so far--but this chapter was hilarious! go phyllis! :)
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Believe me Phyllis is going to go, go, go!
Date: March 20, 2007 06:56 am Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
Oh. My. Lord. I think this is my favorite chapter ever. So, be prepared for a long review, mmk? Mmmk.
First of all, Jim calling his mother about underwear? Priceless. Although he should have feigned innocence and asked her about condoms. Next, of COURSE Angela would pick a swan as her animal. Hehe. And I love Kelly’s response: “I’m telling Ryan that you want to murder me!” Okay, now this is just great, that you think Angela was in the ballet. We just did showcase at school (like a talent show, but with a theme to pull it together), and I wrote it and we did the Office. I had a line where Angela said she was a ballet dancer in her youth, but she quit when the instructor costumed them in outfits fit for tiny prostitutes. So that made me laugh that other people think she’s so the typical tiny blonde ballerina, too. Hehe. Moving on… QUESTION: Do you have a moat? Hehehe best line ever. And, I love love LOVE that Angela would get rid of Firefly, simply because you know Dwight makes her watch it all the time. Oh, so funny. I love Angela. Thank you so much for writing. I absolutely love this story, and can’t wait until Jim and Pam just mack on each other in front of all the girls. Maybe not Karen, cause that’s mean, but everyone else. Oh, and sorry I am so incredibly ADHD today. And… yes, that is all. Thank you.
Author's Response:
Please tell me that you are kidding about the condoms? How painful would that be? "Hey Mom, I'm going to play a prank on Dwight at work. Do you know where I can buy these things called condoms?" YIKES!!!
Did you do a video of the showcase you did at school? Can you put it on YouTube? I would looooove to see it! Angela the uptight little ballerina, I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Tiny prostitutes!!!
I had a boyfriend whose ex-girlfriend (highly Christian) broke up with him because of FIREFLY! True Story! She said "it's either me or Firefly!" I'm sure she meant "It's either God or SATAN!"
I can't wait for them to mack on each other either! Let me tell you I've had a little sit down with each of them and said "Listen people! We need some serious kissing! And PRONTO!" They acted like they didn't know what I was talking about.... sometimes they just drive me nuts.
Date: March 20, 2007 06:35 am Title: Chapter 34 - Rapid Tail Action occurs in Smitten State
Michael & his Entourage -- ack, that is painful!!! And I still cannot wait to see what Jim has up his sleeve. You are an evil genius, Muggins!
Author's Response: Yes! I am an EVIL GENIUS! I plan to take over the planet by writting FANFIC!!! BWAHAHAHA! Behold my immense power! And as soon as I have perfected my lasor-cannon-bearing smitten newts, it will all be mine! Mine, I tell you!!!