1

Hehe, I now definitely have this song in my head. I loved the whole office coming together to prank Dwight for their own individual reasons (also the little glimmer of Dwight/Ryan hatred, which I don't think we got enough of on the show, and because of course Dwight is still humming the fire song) - as always, nearly every line in this cracked me up. Especially Creed at the end. And it had just the right amount of post Conflict Resolution Jam angst, plus Pam's last line and 'nothing ever changes round here' - ouch. I feel like I would've gone as far as dropping the telekinesis gag for this. So, so good!

Author's Response: Yeah, this one mainly got done *because* the song kept popping back into my head, truth be told.

Dwight really is a menace. You can really see why everyone else puts up with Jim's nonsense if that's the alternative.

Thank you so much! Was challenging trying to find the right blend of comedy and pathos here... tough needle to thread, I'm really glad it worked for you!

Appreciate you taking the time to read and review... now go back to writing! You've got AOTM responsibilities, you know...

Ah! It seems I forgot to leave my customary jelly candies for my review! My apologies I will do so now!

Author's Response: Ha! Much appreciated!

1

As always this was hilarious and could pass as an actual script for the show, but the way you weaved in the undercurrent of Jam sadness was absolutely brilliant and quite honestly, ow. Rude.

Amazing as always!

Author's Response: Season 2 and 3 Jam are frequently a bummer amidst the laughs! I wanted to try to be true to it here. It was... challenging. Glad it worked for you. Sorry for the pain though.

1

Great to have you back to writing these. They are always a lot of fun.

This is a frenetic song which lends itself to the feeling here.In bringing in many of the characters to participate and the reasons behind their motivation to do so, was well, well done. Stanley's especially nice callback to Healthcare.

However, I do detect the sense of melancholy too shadowing over the whole prank. Jim is NOT fine. He already seems to have set his own plan in motion and while he may not know yet what he will do at Casino Night, all the references to it just really got to me.

"got to do a lot to break even"
"Go big or go home."
The "leave it all on the table" line really struck me.

So having grown up on REM - I could appreciate all the references and I love a fic that hits on song beats (even when they feel very far from being a Jam jam) although it is very much foreshadowing the end of their world as we know it ...at least for the season that would follow. However, I don't think I picked up on the pun. Maybe you need to fansplain this one.

Oh and have to give you kudos for the disclaimer - anytime we get mention of Dwight's apocalypse readiness I just have to smile.

Keep em coming.

Author's Response: Oh, man. This one... this one has haunted me. I'm glad you liked it, but honestly I'm more glad I never have to think about it again if I don't want to.

I had entirely too much fun identifying the various Dunder Mifflinites who might have a continuing grudge against Dwight. He leaves a lot of hurt feelings in his wake, that guy. I'm pleased (if unsurprised) you caught the shadow over the whole thing... which was a major part of the point of this fic and also what held it up most, figuring out how to execute that, this sense that Pam needs the status quo restored and Jim is just looking for one last hurrah before he leaves. The intention was very much to have Casino Night on the reader's mind. Glad it worked for you!

Who doesn't love REM? That would be just wrong. The pun is that Michael's dentist appointment is at 2:30... aka tooth-hurty, a great time for a dentist appointment. Maybe I'm overthinking this.

Dwight would survive and thrive in the apocalypse. And all his co-workers would be begging him for help in the end.

Thank you so much!

1

Amazing. I don’t know what else to say. Can we go back in time so you can be a writer on the show so we can actually get some of these cold opens?

You know, it gets me through the day. But it’s not like it’s going anywhere.

Also way to throw this little bit in here to hurt me. Thanks for that.

Author's Response: Eh. This one would've been way too long. Really more of a B-plot than a cold open. *sigh* Sometimes I think Greg was right.

Sorry for hurting you... although honestly that was kind of the intention of the Jim/Pam side of this. So, I guess, you're welcome?

1

I am just really amazed that you wrote these crossword clues. I never in my life would have guessed these. Also kind of love that part of the magic is the desk-if only Ronnie and Jim had had more time over it, who knows where they’d be now?

Author's Response: One thing I discovered in the process of writing this fic: it turns out it's WAY easier to come UP with a crossword clue starting from a word you want to get to then it is to figure out the word from the clue. True story!

True. Or for that matter Jim and Ryan. Or Erin and Dwight... the possibilities are endless!

Needs more Altair

Author's Response: ...okay. That's actually going to haunt me.

1

Really enjoying your cold opens and, as ever, your skill in drawing these characters.
Love the idea of the reception desk as a kind of celestial body with pull strong enough to lift Stanley out of his chair and onto his feet.
Thanks for this - very much needed some distraction today.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I had fun writing this one. Although I don't know how real crossword writers do it.

maybe it?s the desk, or maybe it?s each other. The miraculous human gift of making places feel like home is also about how people make us feel like home.

glad to help. And thank you for taking the time to read and review.

1

YOu've got me channeling Meghan Trainor

'YOu know it's all about that desk, bout that desk -and that disclaimer.'
That was running through my head as I got to the end of this adorable cold opener. I know I'm pretty corny - can't help what my brain does sometimes.

I totally buy that he is drawn to Phyllis. They are a work couple after all- proven further by the fact she helps him with his crossword clues.

And magic desk - well even Erin found her pairing in Pete so maybe.

Pam and Jim here are drawn so well (but I will defend that their magic is a force beyond).

Oh as a crossword aficionado (Rex Parker is my Phyllis) I loved your clues - so perfectly puzzle.

And of course it was the perfect disclaimer for this one.
Loved it.

Author's Response: I will confess to a not-so-secret love of Meghan Trainor, so I appreciate this reference.

YES. The scene of him casually asking Phyllis for help on his beloved crosswords was the inspiration for this... although I suppose this doesn't necessarily line up with him not noticing that it's Kevin.

HA. Not going to lie, I was deeply proud of the trapezius one.

Thank you so much as always for taking time to read and review, my friend.

1

I loveeeee this cold open and I’m so glad you finished it for me! The title and disclaimer are clever and hilarious, as always. I really liked the phrase “Stanley equivalent of a chuckle.” That made me do the Stanley equivalent of a chuckle.

Honestly though, my favorite part was the ending when Greg Daniels admits that the desk is kind of magic. 🥺😭

Author's Response: I feel like there's a lot of good humor to be done with the fundamental dour-ness of Stanley.

Look, is it a little lame that I linked back to one of my own fics again? Yes. Is the desk, in fact, kind of magic? Absolutely.

Thanks for helping push this one into the world!

1

I don’t know how you wrote this as if it’s a real script for TV. It’s so good!

Author's Response: The secret is: you let John, Steve and Jenna do the hard work for you. Thank you so much!

1

I feel cleansed! I no longer agree with the suits! This isn't a single pop culture reference but has call backs to at least eight iconic trends. The higher ups missed millions in cross marketing and product placement opportunities! Total fiscal irresponsibility

djc, you had me head banging to the disclaimer. And Devil dogs! How can you not love a company that has a duck baker as their representative, and they are Kosher!

Once again you have hit it out of the park! Perfection though I did have to look away when you introduced Gabe into the mix, but that's on me, not you.

Please excuse me for the total abuse of exclamation points!

Author's Response: Thrilled to see you've gotten on the other side of the network again! Maybe you're right. It's just a lack of vision. At the very least, it could have been a whole mini-video series to rival The Accountants.

Seriously. I was VERY surprised to learn Drake's isn't everywhere. I guess they'll have to settle for everywhere that counts.

Sorry - he seemed like the only one who would be confused about the MCU reference but also care enough to ask. And I did make it clear his girlfriend is about to dump him, which I hope makes you feel better.

You are excused. Thanks for taking the time to read and review!