Date: April 21, 2007 07:54 pm Title: Pain
A little sad??? You made me cry! All of their emotions are done so well!
Please update fast! My heart hurts for all of them right now!
Date: April 21, 2007 07:43 pm Title: Pain
Oh man. This was rough. Bit I liked how you interspersed Pam's flashbacks with present time. Pam's reflections on what Jim would have to put up with if he were to be with her, now that she's damaged (and how he's better off with baggage-free Karen) made me so sad. But it's totally believable that Pam'd feel that way.
Pam needs to move out of that apartment ASAP, IMO.
And of course her secret would be revealed to the office by Michael being Michael.
Can't wait to see what happens next. Great job so far on what is a really original idea.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! Pam staying in her apartment is a part of the story. Good catch on that! :)
Date: April 21, 2007 05:54 pm Title: Pain
Oh, Jim - oh, God, he is such an idiot. I wish he'd get a freaking move on. Get rid of Karen [who can't even tell if her boyfriend is lying] and get it right with Pam. Yeesh. Seriously.
Still loving this - I liked Jim's perspective of the whole thing so far, and he still doesn't know what really happened!! And I'm still hurting for Pam. It's a fictional event happening to a fictional character but you get across the emotions and descriptions unbelievably well. :D
Can't wait for more!
Date: April 21, 2007 05:39 pm Title: Pain
i really like this story, normally i read fanfic for the fluffy jim/pam stories, but this one is really interesting and different.
Date: April 21, 2007 03:08 pm Title: Pain
I'm glad you updated this story. It would be strange to say that I'm enjoying this story because that is the wrong word, but I and very very interested in it. You've done a great job eliciting seriously emotion here and I adore Jim questioning how little he has been there for her. And when she tried to approach him!!! Tear out my heart - that was really good.
Update soon, I need Jim to give her a hug! or hold her hand or something. :-)
Date: April 21, 2007 01:50 pm Title: Pain
I like this story. I came in expecting to be annoyed by melodrama, but you've used really admirable restraint in your plotting and construction. You did a nice job with Jim's voice, which is normally very ephemeral and hard to nail.
I do have one criticism, though; I hesitate to offer it because I'm having some difficulty articulating exactly what it is. I hope this makes sense. You have handled the characterization of post-assault Pam with such delicacy that it seems to me like her essential character has been submerged. She is such an architypical survivor of sexual assault that she almost reads not like Pam anymore. Of course something like that is a life-altering event, but she seems, perhaps, too altered, if that makes sense? I would think that Pam would respond with a little more in the way of gallows humor, and that she would be aware that self-castigation is a textbook response (although I think you're right that she would punish herself regardless).
I hope I haven't overstepped what you were looking for in reviews. The only reason I mention it is because the rest of the story is so outstanding that this one note really stood out to me. I definitely plan to keep reading, and I hope you'll keep writing.
Author's Response: Thank you! No, you're right. I actually did want to go for the "Shell" effect in the first chapter. I will probably flesh out her character a bit more. Your articulated yourself just fine! I'm impressed!
Date: April 21, 2007 01:47 pm Title: Pain
Again, you're a really awesome writer. Please update soon.
Date: April 21, 2007 01:22 pm Title: Pain
Very sad! I'm glad if the worst is over!
Date: April 21, 2007 01:00 pm Title: Pain
OH MY GAWD. update NOW PLEASE?!?! im dyyyinggg!!! :( Wonderful story!! I love it and I cannot wait for Jim's reaction!!
Date: April 21, 2007 12:30 pm Title: Pain
Beautifully written. I love Jim's POV. Very moving. Can't wait to see what's next!
Author's Response: Hey! I just got done "editing" because I realized that I never thanked you. I'll go back, and put more of your suggestions in. My computer is having a hard time converting the attachment you sent me. So, it may take a tiny bit of time. Thanks for the review and all of the support!
Date: April 21, 2007 12:26 pm Title: Pain
That's so sad.
I really want to see more it's.
it's good.
Date: April 19, 2007 08:01 pm Title: Weak
i have to say i really do like this poor pam thing. it just makes me want jim and pam to get together that much more.
Date: April 16, 2007 08:37 pm Title: Weak
I really liked this. Can't wait to see where you're going with it!
Date: April 16, 2007 08:06 pm Title: Weak
Certainly different from any other JAM story I've read. Interested to see where you take it!
Date: April 16, 2007 07:26 pm Title: Weak
I got teary at this. I will be interested to see what happens next, but I'm afraid this can't be very cheery. And "Very Dark" - you ain't kidding.
Date: April 16, 2007 07:16 pm Title: Weak
It's pretty good so far. Just don't make it too melodramatic, like the soap operas. I like the Michael characterization; how he's more gentle with Pam and still nosy! :-)
Date: April 16, 2007 06:45 pm Title: Weak
You've done a really good job here. It's realistic, you've managed to keep it from being melodramatic and cringe-worthy. I'm really interested in how you are going to continue.
Date: April 16, 2007 04:09 pm Title: Weak
ooo! This is good!....I mean, getting raped is definately NOT good...the story is.
Date: April 16, 2007 12:18 pm Title: Weak
i liked it, sad, but in a well-written thoughtful kind of way.
Date: April 16, 2007 11:11 am Title: Weak
massively interesting piece, here. do write more.
Date: April 16, 2007 08:49 am Title: Weak
Oh how sad. This is a very good start. I'd love to see where this is going. Please continue!
Date: April 16, 2007 08:44 am Title: Weak
Ok I'm really really interested. This has so much juicy plot scene possibilities I'm salivating, and your a fab writer and I bet its just gonna be so filling. Ok I'm obviously really hungry should eat food. Just had to share my excitement.
Date: April 16, 2007 08:32 am Title: Weak
You're a great writer. I could feel Pam's uncomfort in the Jan situation, and then the whole office knowing. Please update soon.
Date: April 16, 2007 07:56 am Title: Weak
You are right... this a dark fiction. But it has captured my interest and I am very much enjoying this first chapter. Please add more soon.
10 [Report This]Date: April 16, 2007 06:11 am Title: Weak
aw, where's chapter 2?:) Great work!