Date: April 18, 2007 05:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
Excellent. Really moving and well-written.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)
8 [Report This]Date: April 18, 2007 08:29 am Title: Chapter 1
Very nice - I like the changes you made, and your additions do a great jobs of clarifying the timeframe. Also, I like what you added at the end that gives us the link between sad/scared Pam and content/not-scared Pam. I forgot to mention it before, but I really like that you have Pam neglecting to use drawing as an outlet.
Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you like it. You were definitely right about the time frame - I confused myself when I went back and reread it. And lack of outlet - I think that for a while, you just have to sit in it and wait for the worst of it to pass, and even things she enjoys doing would have just sucked. Because, you know, she was not ok. Anyway, thanks :)
7 [Report This]Date: April 18, 2007 08:14 am Title: Chapter 1
This piece about Pam and her choices is told in such a quiet yet powerful way - never overwhelming. Pam does need a backup plan and soon. Really enjoyed reading it. Liked your reference to Escher.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And yeah, Escher, how many hours did I spend in high school in a trance looking at the poster in the English room instead of paying attention?
Date: April 17, 2007 09:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
You've gotten inside Pam's head really well. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you! Sometimes it all hits too close to home...
Date: April 17, 2007 08:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
Mmm, very nice. I mean, bittersweet, but I can see the appeal--alongside the unease--of the solitary existence for Pam. Really enjoyed the story.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Date: April 17, 2007 08:33 pm Title: Chapter 1
the consequences of both her cowardice and her bravery.
i love this -- it's so exactly what happened, and so perfectly painful. just like they've been all along: so close, but just not close enough to get it right.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you like it :)
Date: April 17, 2007 06:55 pm Title: Chapter 1
I could definitely see Pam having these kinds of thoughts throughout the summer.
This one "If she hadn’t been so dumb, so scared, she could have had him here right now." is interesting, because, of course, any time during the summer, calling would have helped. Even after he came back. Because, hypothetically, if he thought Pam were interested... well, you know.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And yeah, it's hard to see straight when you're mired in the situation... I'm willing to bet that the thought of what she'd get on the other end of the line was WAY too scary to make that call, and I'd also be willing to bet that it didn't even occur to her that she COULD call him until after a month or so...