Date: April 22, 2007 03:26 am Title: Phantom Bruises
I don't know why I haven't reviewed for this story before - but then again, you can take it as a compliment - if I haven't given a monster-review for a story, it's either because I love it so much I can't even start being intelligible about it, or I absolutely loathe it - and I assure you you're closer to the former category. ;)
Absolutely brilliant. I loved this chapter - Jim's perspective, and the if p, then q, and by far one of the most amazing things I have ever seen:
Phantom bruises, he thought. She was always giving him phantom bruises.
because that is - perfect Jim/Pam.
Actually I love so many things about it that I couldn't possibly begin to say all of it - but keep writing, because I'm drinking all of this in and loving the whole thing to bits. :D
Author's Response:
wow thank you! I'll try to keep doing what I'm doing ;-) keep reading and let me know how you think it's going.
Date: April 22, 2007 01:36 am Title: Fathers, be good to your daughters.
This really contradicts canon...Pam appears to love and trust her father, and he also bought her first set of art pencils.
Author's Response: Not gonna lie, I figured I was gonna get alot of facts wrong with this story cause I didn't really check on anything but what I've seen on TV. And I didn't have scripts in front of me for that either. I def probably should've but it's written now and it would make me a little bit sad to go back and change it. Just take it with a grain. Sorry about that.
10 [Report This]Date: April 22, 2007 01:21 am Title: Phantom Bruises
I'm not much of a reviewer, generally, but I really think this story deserves many more reviews than it has so far, so I couldn't help my self. I just wanted to let you know that this was the best chapter of an already excellent story, in my opinion at least. It's poignant, and angsty, and touching all at once without being the least bit over-bearingly so. I love the whole story, and anxiously await each chapter update. Thanks so much for writing it, and definitely, I think you should keep the chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! That is so well put because I was absolutely worried about this chapter being too much, too soon. But you've put my fears to rest ;-) Thanks for the review!
Date: April 21, 2007 07:42 pm Title: Fathers, be good to your daughters.
Please continue this story. It is very engaging and I am enjoying it alot!
10 [Report This]Date: April 21, 2007 03:56 pm Title: Fathers, be good to your daughters.
Wow, I'm glad I checked MTT again. You posted 4 new chapters!! This is so well-written and intriguing.
Date: April 21, 2007 02:04 pm Title: Fathers, be good to your daughters.
I really love this story. Its remarkably well written and I just...love it. So. please do continue. :)
10 [Report This]Date: April 21, 2007 01:55 pm Title: Fathers, be good to your daughters.
This is good. I'm really excited to see what happens. I don't think that it's too angsty at all. I like Pam's reaction to her dad's death and to Jim. Keep going!
Date: April 21, 2007 01:14 pm Title: Nice of you to join us, Beesly.
This is really getting better and better. I really like how Jim realizes why he can't give her a ride home. It's interesting that she doesn't realize why he's being nice to her ("She was taking advantage of someone who was simply trying to make sure she didn’t need to go to the hospital"). He's understanding her signals (for once), but she has no idea what's been going on with him and why he was acting aloof (like a big jerk) and now friendly.
I love how Dwight grabs Pam's purse! He knows where it is, he knows that a woman goes nowhere without her purse, just pure awesome Dwight.
Author's Response: Thank you I'm glad you're enjoying it!! Keep me posted, I really appreciate your reviews.
Date: April 21, 2007 12:34 pm Title: Nice of you to join us, Beesly.
Love it. Didn't expect such a great story to come out of a premise like this (not really a criticism, just saying, you know), but you bring something new to it. I do hope you continue with the regular updates.
Author's Response:
I hear you. This is usually one of my least favorite kinds of stories. I think I just wanted to write one that was honest and real and not just an excuse for Pam to cry on Jim's shoulder, although I guess she did her share of that. lol.
Glad you're enjoying it. Keep reading and letting me know your thoughts!
Date: April 21, 2007 12:11 pm Title: Nice of you to join us, Beesly.
Aww...my heart's breaking for Jim - I'm not sure I understand why he and Pam are not talking. I look forward to more.
Author's Response: The intention was that once Karen leaves Jim panics and starts acting like he had when he first got back to Scranton. He's trying to maintain distance and save himself heartache, and I feel like he would probably feel like he had to cut himself off from Pam completely. Pam percieves this and tries to accept it. Let me know if I have to clarify that in the story, like if it doesn't read that way at all. Thanks for the review! Keep reading ;-)
Date: April 21, 2007 11:18 am Title: Prologue: How is New York?
Ooh, I'm really liking this so far. When Karen found out Jim had recommended her, I literally said "Oh!" out loud. Very loudly. Well played, sir! And it totally makes sense that Jim would start shutting Pam out once he no longer has Karen as protection.
Can't wait to see where this goes!
Author's Response: lol!! I'm always saying things out loud to my computer!!! Thanks for the review ;-) keep me posted with how you like the rest.
Date: April 21, 2007 11:13 am Title: He was just Jim
I think it's good - not too dramatic. I really like Jim's inner thoughts, especially: "He’d been burned and that was his fault for thinking he lived in a novel by Jane Austen."!
Shorter chapters are fine, because you are updating frequently anyway.
Date: April 21, 2007 11:05 am Title: He was just Jim
Very good start to the story, you definitely have my interest and have me wanting to read more. I can definitely see Jim being aloof to Pam and trying to distance himself, although it is still painful to read. Please update soon and keep up the good work!
Date: April 21, 2007 10:53 am Title: He was just Jim
I like drama.
This is good.
Date: April 21, 2007 08:43 am Title: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
It was very easy to follow, I thought - very clear. It seems very realistic to me that Jim could just shut down to Pam if Karen left. If he continues to feel she only wants to have a friendship, he could shut her out to try to save himself heartbreak. Ain't a wall big enough, Jimbo.
I'm really interested now to see where this will go and how/whether their relationship will improve.
10 [Report This]Date: April 21, 2007 08:15 am Title: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Great job! You write very well.. I can't wait to read more.
Date: April 21, 2007 06:54 am Title: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Aww, poor Pam. :( It's so sad she has to lose her dad. But I'm enjoying your writing style. You express the emotions Pam is feeling very eloquently. I'm looking forward to future chapters!
Date: April 20, 2007 10:48 pm Title: Prologue: How is New York?
You've totally piqued my interest! Wanna see how it all comes together! OH and btw, your Jan voice is SPOT on!
Author's Response: Thanks! keep reading and let me know what you think!
Date: April 20, 2007 10:40 pm Title: Prologue: How is New York?
I like it. I don't think Karen would actually be offered the promotion without at least a token interview, and particularly without having expressed interest personally, but other than that, I like it. Jan's reactions to Karen's pauses and such are really good. I didn't notice if it said "complete" or not - I think it could certainly continue!
In that first sentence, I think you mean pus. Not a lovely image... ew! But puss is a cat. I like how she's longing for a manicure there!
Author's Response:
lol you're right...I did mean pus...thanks for that ;-)
And I agree that it is outside the realm of possibility, lol top ten signs that I don't work in the business world! lol
More to come ;-) thanks for the review