Date: June 28, 2007 07:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Sorry for being critical, but please split this up into smaller paragraphs. It's difficult to read as is. As for content, any time there is drinking +TO, I'm in. Please continue.
Author's Response: Sorry first one! I noticed after I posted how it looked. I am changing the next one around! And there is lots more drinking to come!
Date: June 28, 2007 04:32 pm Title: Chapter 1
I really like your opening! The Pam-Dwight relationship is one of those veins I hope the writers really get back into, and I love the idea of enriching the way that interaction in "Back from Vacation" unfolded - he was perfectly Dwight and yet completely heroic (!) and ... I can really buy that he would tell Pam something like, "You're too nice to let anyone make you cry."
Your description of Pam's sadness, too, the way that weights you down & invades your sleep but then keeps you awake... very detailed.
I DEFINITELY want to see how you continue this!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I too like the Pam and Dwight Dynamic.. It is nice, in a weird way! ha!
Date: June 28, 2007 04:22 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oooh I like where this is going!
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading, it definitely gets better!