Date: July 12, 2007 05:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
I was thinking the same things that Jim was thinking in this. You did a great job capturing what was probably going on in his head. Please write more!
Date: July 12, 2007 03:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
I really liked how you described the yogurt lid medal as "small circle of gold" -- kind of the inverse of the silver band that kept them apart in S2.
Date: July 12, 2007 09:33 am Title: Chapter 1
I agree that it should be broken up to be easier to read. I really did like it though - it's a nice insight into what Jim is possibly thinking after everything that's happened!
Date: July 12, 2007 08:28 am Title: Chapter 1
This was very cute and believable. I love how you referenced the moments where he almost gave in:
(Oh my god it's really you...I think we broke his brain...I called off my wedding because of you).
You might want to think about breaking the text up into separate paragraphs. It's hard to read one big block of text. And this deserves to be read!