Date: December 30, 2007 06:06 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
I love this. All of it. Every word. So much emotion and my heart breaks for each of them. I really loved your look at Jim's trip to Australia. I could see it being a total bust and him being...well, Jim. He was so tortured and pushed to the edge by Pam's impending wedding. Oh, the angst of it all. So well done. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much, bitterpill. I'm working really hard to do this storyline justice, because even trying their best after Pam's breakup I think they would have had some seriously tough times to get through before they could be happy. I don't want to just angst for angst's sake, but this is how I really could have seen it happening. If this were, you know, real. :) Thanks a lot for the review -- I hope you like the rest.
Date: December 30, 2007 04:24 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
Wow, Thirty you are RIGHT on target with this story. This chapter specifically felt so much like what I imagine Jim's thoughts to be. Watching her smiles, guaging her moods, wondering exactly what to say that's going to sound completely off-hand, but you know he's been planning it for an hour. Just pitch-perfect. And the subtly of Pam's saying she thinks she'll have tea...excellent.
Author's Response: Ahh, LoveFool, I'm so glad you said that, because I love your characterization of Jim. This is tricky to write, because I want to stay in Jim's POV, but also convey something of what's going through Pam's head. I don't think she's in a place yet where she can make the grand gestures, and subtlety is what this show is all about, so I wanted to stick with that for now. So I'm glad you thought the tea thing worked. :)
Date: December 30, 2007 12:17 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
Dang, it's done already! More, more, more! I'm feeling very hopeful, Thirty!
Author's Response: Haha, thanks Nan! Yeah, I'm very excited to be getting to happier times. I'm working on the rest -- hope you like it! Thanks for the review. :)
Date: December 30, 2007 05:41 am Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
So glad to see this updated! And, oh - the tension, the way he feels 'possessive' but knows he's not entitled, his trying so hard to give her the space she needs....aaarrrggh. It all comes through the writing so vividly.
This line was especially poignant: He wants to tell her that he has a mom who’d love her, that she doesn’t need Roy or his family, but the timing seems inappropriate. Oh, Jim. And this: It’s strange, now, feeling so exposed, and it seems about as intimate as a kiss. What an incredible way to describe how vulnerable he feels in that moment.
I like how Pam begins to thaw at the end - how it's incremental and manifests in such an ordinary way. Her sitting down to have tea with him feels as big - and more real - than throwing herself into his arms. Still loving this ;-)
Author's Response: Thanks Colette! It's interesting to write this story, because my thoughts on how it would go are so different from post season 3. I'm a firm believer in lightning fast, uh, "developments" in their relationship after The Job, but I think in this situation, where Pam really hasn't figured out how to be her own person or what she wants out of life or that she's just as deserving as anyone else, it's all about baby steps. Well. Baby steps for *awhile*. Things will pick up speed. They're only human, after all.... ;)
8 [Report This]Date: December 29, 2007 09:10 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
Great chapter! You did an outstanding job of presenting Pam's stress as she deals with the aftermath of calling off the wedding. Love the phone call from Roy's mom.
Author's Response: Thanks! We never really saw any of the aftermath on the show, so of course it's up for interpretation, but I imagine it must have been pretty gut-wrenching for everyone involved. I mean, calling off a wedding just days before? Youch.
Date: December 29, 2007 06:02 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
yay! i really love this. can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thanks Shari! Whew, I'm working on it. These characters and their complicated lives.... :)
8 [Report This]Date: December 29, 2007 05:23 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
The beginning of this was a tough read - but made it easier to understand why Pam didn't call Jim after she called off the wedding IRL (except, of course, it isn't real life at all since its on TV) since the guilt/anger/confusion she displayed here really did need to be worked through before she could be what he wants, which of course is what we want too. I'm glad to see her heart softening where Jim's concerned.
Author's Response: Yeah, I think there were a lot of reasons why Pam didn't tell Jim about calling off her wedding, and I wanted those to come across here. And as nice as it would've been if she could have just fallen into his arms (I know my heart would've been happier), it wouldn't have felt real to me. She has to make a lot of changes and give up a lot of the past first.. But believe me, she's on her way :). Thanks for letting me know what you think.
Date: December 29, 2007 05:06 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
"He never thought he’d miss engaged, but now all he wants is to return to a time when his demise had merely been hypothetical."
Great chapter. I love that Pam was waiting for him when he got home from his trip - and how she let him know she wasn't ready - yet.
Date: December 29, 2007 04:22 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
Yay! You updated! And double-yay! Jim didn't transfer! Looking forward to the next coffee break...
Author's Response: Thanks Lisa! In my head, the entire premise for this story came from wondering "what would've happened if Jim was around for Pam's breakup?" So, yeah... he wasn't going anywhere. ;)
Date: December 29, 2007 03:04 pm Title: Never betray the way you've always known it is
Great!!!
Author's Response: Thanks, skeber! :)
Date: December 21, 2007 04:21 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
Thirty, I just can't say enough good things about this chapter. Even though I knew what was coming, it still read so beautifully and so full of emotion. The image of him sitting at the bar with his head in his arms telling time by what was going on back in Scranton is just crushing. You know, I just don't know how you do it - there aren't a lot of words here and the ones you use are simple and straight-up but wow! So much feeling. So well done.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much Sweetpea! After all the, uh, action in the first chapter, I was worried at first that the second would be kinda boring, so I'm glad it worked. It's a good thing I have you around to say "write more here;" I definitely notice a big difference between the stuff I wrote before you were beta-ing and after. Now I find myself looking at the older stuff and thinking "hey, too rushed! Expand this moment!" Speaking of which -- I completely blame the head-in-arms bar scene on you, because someone suggested I add more Jim disintegration. ;)
Whew, all this angst does take it out of me though. Next step: write a chapter in which neither party cries. I know, I know. Lofty goals.
Date: December 20, 2007 04:23 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
Oh you kill me thirtypercent. Every single time.
This chapter is so heartbreaking and so hopeful and then you go and through the little line about Stamford in and : skvnweigoribvf *headdesk* Amazing :)
The description of Pam's state of mind as she talks about leaving Roy - that sense of confusion, disbelief and some genuine regret, is spot on.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you think I'm on target with Pam's reaction here, because I really like your characterization of her. It was such a strange chapter to write, because it's so hopeful for Pam and Jim, but also so so sad for Pam -- hurting Roy, the fallout from their families, changing everything she's ever known. Yeah. Good times. Thanks so much for the review. :)
Date: December 20, 2007 04:16 pm Title: I won't rest while you break my will
Now she’s standing on his doorstep and he just wonders how he can be so in love with a woman whose bare elbows still take him by surprise.
That might just be the best line I've ever seen to sum up Pam/Jim. Perfect.
You captured Jim's heartbreak so well, how he can't get past it because everything he is, is tied up with her.
Author's Response: Ok, so I'm horrifically slow in responding to this, but thanks so much shootingstars! And I love that you mention that line, because I spent roughly a million years on that paragraph, particularly that sentence.
Date: December 19, 2007 06:08 am Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
I'm all for happier times! As painful as it was to read, you did such a fine job, Thirty. Looking forward to more.
Date: December 19, 2007 04:08 am Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
I am so all about the happy times now. I can't wait for them to come and provide a blissful reprieve from all this sadness. You're doing a lovely job. I think you've written the best angst i have read in quite a while. I really like the confusion and questioning and anxiety you mixed into all the sadness, especially in your first chapter, and especially again with Pam and her role. But i still would like the happier times to start rolling round. Hehe. Lovely work.
Author's Response: Well, I know I'm ready for a reprieve from the sadness; living in angst-town for days at a time while I write this doesn't do much for my mood, I must say. There's still difficult ground to cover, but things are starting to look up. Your compliment about the angst means a lot to me -- I'm trying to write this as realistically as possible, not oversimplifying the situation, but not just angsting just for the sake of angsting, either. I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks for the review. :)
Date: December 19, 2007 03:30 am Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
You wrote Jim's despair in Australia so palpably...and his relief too - the image of him collapsing/sitting down upon hearing her news, feeling like he sprinted a mile is so vivid. And her 'annihilating' the tissue - great detail. And when she says she can't be what he wants yet - and he awkwardly asks if he can touch/hold her? Be still my heart. Such a lovely, sad, hopeful, poignant moment. I really like how this is so emotional, but still delicate - my favorite kind of angst, lol. (And the surreal wave - wow.)
Author's Response:
Thanks so much, Colette! One thing that really gets me about this show is that the angst doesn't arise from the characters being cruel or manipulative or melodramatic. They're just good people who have somehow ended up in these difficult situations and there's no painless way out. I think the writers have done a great job of making the characters flawed, but in an understandable way, and I'm trying to stick with that. But gah, what a tricky line. I spent a lot of time on this scene, changing the balance between how quickly Jim was willing to forgive her, how much Pam leaned on him, how much she was able/willing to admit re: her feelings for him, etc. Whew.
Anyway, I'm rambling, so... thanks for the review. :)
10 [Report This]Date: December 18, 2007 10:02 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
yes. more happiness please. although the angst in this chapter was amazingly fabulous. it made my stomach ache. a good angsty ache! i'm loving this story. can't wait to see what happens next!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much ISB! (hm... should I abbreviate your name or not? Never really sure about these things...;)
I'm really glad you liked it -- and there's definitely happiness to come, though it we're not out of the angst-woods yet. Hop you like it. Thanks for the review!
Date: December 18, 2007 08:23 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
Yes, happy please. Although I really loved this chapter. And now I'm scared about this transfer.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much, Jen! I'm really glad you liked it. Don't worry about Jim's transfer! I'm not actually trying to be coy -- see story summary. ;)
Thanks so much for the review. :)
Date: December 18, 2007 07:56 pm Title: I won't rest while you break my will
I can't remember if I've commented on this story yet, but I just read your update and I'm in shock. That was SO good. My stomach literally flipped for a second there when I got to the part about Pam sitting on his doorstep. Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Whoops -- I just realized I've been horrifically slow in responding to this. Thanks so much, nandance! I'm glad you liked it. I know, I spent so long writing Jim angst that *I* was a little afraid for him when I got to that part. Thanks for the review. :)
Date: December 18, 2007 07:32 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
Oh Thirty, I too am ready to move on to happier times, but I must say you write the angst VERY well. I like the spin you've taken here, and I also loved that you've incorporated what we heard from Pam after the coal walk...that all those things were wrong in her relationship, but the truth was she never paid them any mind until Jim. For some reason it makes more sense in this context for me, than it even did then. Great work.
Author's Response:
Wow, thanks so much, LoveFool. I'm glad you liked that part, because I love that element of Pam's BG speech -- she didn't call off her wedding for Jim, or even because she fell in love with him. She did it because just knowing him made her realize that she wanted more out of life. Or, at least that was my interpretation. :)
Thanks so much for the review. :)
Date: December 18, 2007 07:25 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
You are doing an awesome job. I am loving every bit of this story, the emotions are so intense. I can imagine Jim's desperation in Australia as he lives through those moments where he believes Pam is lost to him forever. And Pam, feeling totally lost and confused about her future after the breakup. But at least she found her way to Jim's doorstep and that's a start.
Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, EH! It's interesting (and challenging) to write, because they're both having such a difficult time right now, but in different ways, like you say. Would you believe that the original plan was to stop here? (minus the Stamford cliffhanger) But pretty early on I decided I couldn't just leave it at that. I hope you like the rest. :) Thanks for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 18, 2007 07:08 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
very nice AU - looking forward to more!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, moxie! I think it'll be tricky to do this AU justice, but I'm giving it my best shot. :) Thanks for the review!
Date: December 18, 2007 06:55 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
I am really enjoying this take on what might have happened if Pam broke up with Roy prior to Jim's move. It is one of the best that I have read. Keep it coming (TWSS).
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much, Ozana. It's definitely a tricky topic -- as pleasant as it is to think Pam could've just dropped everything and fallen into Jim's arms, I don't think it would have been nearly that easy, even if he hadn't been in Stamford. I'm trying to be as realistic as I can, but still show them making progress toward each other. I hope you like the rest. :) Thanks for the review!
Date: December 18, 2007 06:45 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
Oh wow. This was INTENSE. Great. And what a cliff hanger!
Author's Response: Thanks Foliage! Yeah, tell me about it -- I'm definitely feeling the effects after spending so long writing these two chapters. Hope you like the rest. :)
10 [Report This]Date: December 18, 2007 06:38 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
YESSSS happier times! Although it already feels a little bit happier to me than the first chap. I love this. You do such an intensely amazing fucking job with characterizing Jim and his pain. And Pam and hers. Its almost disgusting how good this story is. And inspiring. YAY! Can't wait for more.
Author's Response:
Haha, Shari! Can I just say that the "disgustingly good" line is my new favorite compliment?
Yeah, what with Pam not marrying Roy, the prognosis for Jim & Pam has definitely improved. There are still some difficulties to get past, but... yeah. Jim doesn't have to be sad and alone in Australia anymore. Woo.
Thanks so much for the review :)