10 [Report This]Date: January 23, 2008 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
I have to say that of all the possible futures for Jim I've read on various stories around here, this seems the most plausible. Everyone wants Jim to immediately become a sports writer, but let's be honest: that's not very likely to happen straight out of Dunder Mifflin. A sales position at a sports radio station, on the other hand, is at least a lateral move in the right direction. It's a great first step.
You've got this wonderful grasp of these characters, and you manage to keep them sounding and acting so real. Excellent work!
Author's Response: Thanks Mose, I particularly appreciate that as I was definitely aiming for plausibility. Jim becoming a sportswriter isn't impossible, but realistically it would be a long process and probably wouldn't fit well with starting a family, as I imagine him wanting to do. And at least for Jim, selling sports radio advertising would be more interesting than selling paper.
10 [Report This]Date: January 23, 2008 07:28 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
Things I really like:
Jim and Pam engaged
Jim and Pam cuddling
Ice cream
Chocolate
Happy, content, confident Pam.
The idea of Jim looking for a new job - esp. one that suits him perfectly.
This story. :)
Author's Response: Glad you like, xoxoxo, and thanks for your help. In my humble opinion, ice cream, chocolate and happy Pam are three things everyone should like.
Date: January 21, 2008 03:24 pm Title: November and December
Any more to come? Please say yes!!!
Author's Response: Yes.
Date: January 21, 2008 01:47 pm Title: May to October
WONDERFUL! I really enjoyed this. :)
Author's Response: Thanks, receptionist. I'm glad to hear it.
8 [Report This]Date: January 15, 2008 07:34 pm Title: November and December
"From the moment he first met Pam, he sensed that there was a lot going on just below the surface, that there was more to her than met the eye." I like that comment. I've been told that about me before and wondered is that a good thing or a bad thing but decided it was a good thing. I'm glad I'm like Pam (and her Dad) in that way! And the proposal in December was so romantic. I felt badly for Jim that Pam had figured it out but I'm glad he took it so well. I've always been able to sense my husband's surprises, too - he gets so excited over things that he exudes a "I know something you don't know" aura that gives it away! Nicely done.
Author's Response: Kaystar, I'm sure it's a good thing. As for the proposal, I think Jim was just happy to get a yes. Thanks for the review!
Date: January 10, 2008 08:08 pm Title: November and December
Wow! This is what we missed at Christmas when the strike was on!
This was just perfect. I love that Pam knew and that Jim figured out that she knew. Beautiful.
Author's Response: Yeah, stupid studios. I like to think that FNB would be a step ahead of Jim more often than not. Thanks for the review!
Date: January 10, 2008 01:25 pm Title: May to October
I love the "baby" scene I've read fics where Jim uses baby and it always seems so weird but you made it perfect. Of course Pam would laugh at that and of course it would be a slip and afterward he probably wouldn't give it up. Thank you for doing it right. :D
Author's Response: Thanks cg...I agree. Using "baby" like some people use "baby" wouldn't fit Jim and Pam, but I thought maybe this would. It was a fun bit to write. Thanks!
Date: January 10, 2008 10:42 am Title: May to October
HooHusband served some years in the cold Blacksburg winters, too -- he has some Hokie degrees, too, but the 'Hoos got him first.
Author's Response: I guess calling him HooHokieHusband would be a little much? Blacksburg winters can indeed by cold-my dad loves to complain about them.
10 [Report This]Date: January 10, 2008 10:29 am Title: November and December
This is so, so good. I love how you painted a realistic picture of Pam's parents. I know I can relate. And so many couples struggle with the whole in-law issue, so to me, this is so much more interesting than Pam and Jim having a perfect life with perfect parents and perfect families. Also, you completely nailed the proposal. It was sweet without being too saccharine, and also completely believable. Excellent work!
Author's Response: Thanks a ton, sudz. This is a gratifying review, as I'm aiming for realism and sweet but not saccharine.
9 [Report This]Date: January 10, 2008 08:21 am Title: November and December
Fantastic job with both vignettes. I really liked your take on Pam's dad and his emotional distance. It helps clarify why Pam would be so close to her mom and yet never really speak about her dad.
And the proposal scene was wonderfully understated--exactly how I'd imagine it would really be for them. Less really is more when writing for Jim and Pam, isn't it?
Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Mose. There's a quality about Pam that makes me think her dad was not quite Ward Cleaver; her putting with up so much from Roy is evidence of this too I suppose. I wanted a new twist for the proposal, and the idea of Pam having it all figure out, but still loving it, felt right. Thanks again!
9 [Report This]Date: January 10, 2008 05:58 am Title: November and December
Thank you, brokenloon. This made me smile.
Author's Response: Thanks NanReg...always happy to produce a smile.
Date: January 10, 2008 05:11 am Title: November and December
So much to like here - beginning with how they had a bumpy start and it wasn't instant magic. Also that Pam doesn't panic about it, but rides it out, while Jim makes that transition. Also liked how Jim recognized something Pam shared when he met her father - him picking up that there's more beneath his surface fits with having been naturally drawn to Pam in the first place. (And mom's liking Jim - perfect. Yup, he'd know his way around a mom, alright, lol.) I also think you're handling the dual-character pov really well - which doesn't always work for me. Anyway, glad I finally had a chance to read this - looking forward to the upcoming months.
Author's Response:
Thanks Colette! Definitely great to hear from you, I'm a huge fan as I hope you know. I'd be really surprised if there was ever a mom that didn't adore Jim. Glad to hear the pov is working, because it's totally haphazard-I just write it however it comes in to my head.
10 [Report This]Date: January 10, 2008 04:50 am Title: November and December
This story is so much better than a bus full of drunk 23 year olds.
OK - that's not saying much but it's still the truth. :)
You know that I love it - and I love that I got a sneak peek and still had a nice surprise in the Pam's dad chapter. You had a very interesting take on him and Jim's concerns in regards to meeting him were not your typical "meet the dad" type of worries. You really did a wonderful job with that. Aaand I have to say - your Allison Beesly sounds kinda like my mom. LOL! or - actually - come to think of it - me. It's the 5000 words thing I think that bears some resemblance.
In short, this installment was an extremely good use of my taxpayer dollars. Slack off again soon will you?
Author's Response: I've been a drunk 23 year-old before (specifically for a substantial protion of 1993) and would not like to have to deal with a busload of me's. I'm glad you survived it and got to read this, and definitely glad that you feel you got your money's worth.
Date: January 10, 2008 04:02 am Title: November and December
Okay, I'm so glad it's a big, fat ring! Pam needs a huge (but tasteful, I'm sure!) rock after that bit of shiny lint she had on her finger for so long! Really loved the proposal.
Pam's dad - I love reading about people who are less than perfect and you did a great job with him. We know Pam trusts her dad, but that's really all we know about him. I think you filled in the blanks beautifully and gave a great backstory to why Pam would tolerate Roy's indifference. Jim's recognition that there is more going on underneath the surface is perfect, I think. It says a lot about Pam's character, as well. I like that it reveals a bit about Jim's first thoughts about Pam and those seem spot-on to me - cute girl, wicked sense of humor, but she's kind of quiet...what's going on in that head of hers? Yeah, that seems perfect to me.
More, right? Okay, good!
Author's Response: I definitely think Jim is the kind of guy who would splurge on a ring, and I defintiely think he would want to be sure to leave Roy's in the dust. Thanks so much for the complements abut my Pam's dad take. My brief impression of her mom from the show was that she was sort of fun and happy and pleasant, but not real complicated. So, I decided that maybe Pam got that certain depth and gravity she has from her dad.
Date: January 10, 2008 03:46 am Title: May to October
I loved it. Somehow, I missed this first chapter when it was posted, so I got to read both at once. I really liked how Pam's "I love you" came out. In an unguarded, mundane moment, because it happens like that sometimes and because it means she's been thinking it for a long time. I like that the start of their relationship is awkward and that he's still hesitant - I think that's very real and would crop up at unexpected moments and I like that you made Pam so patient with him. She's a good egg, our girl is. My favorite part is their little spat over him being late after her crappy day. She would be in no mood for his goddamn comedy act (LOVED that) in that moment and I loved how he handled it, too.
Just a lovely and real glimpse of what those early months might have been like.
Author's Response: So glad you liked it, Sweetpea. Pam really is a good egg, isn't she? I like to say that she treats the world better than the world treats her. Glad you liked the spat. While I'm not one for griefbone crushing, relationship ending angst, I really enjoy trying to write realistic squabbles that get worked through. Thanks for the review, and also thanks for Allentown.
Date: January 10, 2008 01:25 am Title: November and December
Yay -- two nice long chapters! And Pam is right, sometimes it just doesn't matter if you know it's coming or not. (HooHusband proposed on Valentine's Day, and I knew he had bought a ring, but I still got all flustered when he got down on one knee and opened the box).
Author's Response: Thanks, hoo! I have to say the term "HooHusband" cracks me up, despite my Blacksburg born lack of love for most things Hoo.
Date: January 09, 2008 10:57 pm Title: November and December
I was so excited to see another installment of this story! You know, whenever I've tackled Pam's father -- which has been very infrequent -- I've never gone to this place with him, but for some reason I think your depiction is most probable. It would certainly account for her putting up with Roy's inattention for so long...it was what she was used to. What a normal male/female relationship felt like for her. And I have to say I adore Jim for really trying with the guy and for even finding something to like in him.
The engagement was the awesomest engagement of all the engagements. Loved that Pam figured it out and loved even more that it was a gaurgantuan ring.
Good story! Keep it coming!
Author's Response: LoveFool, always great to hear from you. About time for something new from you, isn't it? Thanks a ton for the review. I struggled quite a bit to come up with a take on Mr. Beesly that fit what we know from the show, so I'm really glad to hear you found it plausible.
10 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2008 10:48 pm Title: November and December
B-LOON! You totally rocked this! Of course I'm sort of a sucker for a brooding Mr. Beesly, but whatever, who cares if I'm all sorts of biased. Sorry I dropped the ball on the beta job, but you clearly didn't need my help because this was absolutely fantastic in every way. Ugh I seriously seriously loved this, especially the proposal and how Pam had it figured out. So cute. Well well done. Now, you should go write more because you're awesome. ;-) (was this entire review way too kelly for my own good? ...yikes.)
Author's Response: Thanks Kelly, er, I mean Stablergirl. Glad you liked it. I have to admit I definitely enjoyed the idea of Pam having figured out the proposal, so I'm glad you dug it. Hope all is well with you.
Date: January 09, 2008 10:40 pm Title: November and December
Oh, women's intuition...we can be spoilers sometimes! Nice take on a Jim/Pam proposal; I also liked the idea of Pam's dad being distant, shall we say. He can still be her hero though I suppose, and she would find some his qualities in Roy I think.
Author's Response: Yeah, that intuition has mystified me many a time for sure. Glad you liked my take on Mr. Beesly; I was going for something realistic and balanced that fit with what we know from the show.
9 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2008 10:19 pm Title: November and December
Rock on, my friend! This was lovely. I especially liked the part about Jim meeting Pam's dad; I completely agree that Jim probably charmed a lot of moms in his day (he is, after all, "into them," if I recall correctly), and I think you did a fabulous job establishing the almost-tension between the men that Jim tried to keep at bay. I'm also so happy you didn't use the tired dynamic of "Oh, by the way, Jim, Dad and Roy were best friends, so that might be weird" (not that I think you'd ever use cliches--your writing is always deliciously original and creative).
So wonderful job, as usual, and of course I cannot wait to see what you'll roll out next!! --CH
Author's Response: Thanks so much, CH. I labored over Pam's dad and how Jim might deal with him. We know from the show that Pam respects her dad, but it definitely seems to me that they are not close. Thanks a ton for your kind words.
9 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2008 10:12 pm Title: May to October
I'm a terrible person. I've heard you chatting about this story, and I've loved your stories on the site, so after hearing you were writing more to "May and Everything After," I was excited. I knew I'd read it, I knew I'd loved it, but just now, as I reread part one and perused your reviews (I'm a glutton for author's responses, for some reason, and I love to see what people say in reply), I kept looking for my review.
And then I realized I didn't leave one the first time around.
I bow before thee with sorrow and dishonor on my shoulders. This is such an excellent story, and I'm kicking my travel-wearied ass that I didn't say so the first time. I reread this just now, and as I was going through it, I said, "I know there's a part with Jim and basketball somewhere. It's--OH! There it is!" That vignette really stuck with me, and I think this is a beautifully constructed story.
So my apologies and a standing ovation for this, and now I'm gonna go read part two and hopefully be one of the FIRST few folks to review that installment! -CH
Author's Response:
CH, take your sorrow and dishonor and throw them in the garbage for a cat to eat. Thanks so much for your review. It's particularly gratifying to hear it's "beautifully constructed," because it is really conceived and written very haphazardly. The months have been written out of order and with different points of view and no particular plan.
Thanks again!
Date: December 30, 2007 07:37 pm Title: May to October
I like it. :) But sure, you want specifics, you want me to work. Okay, then.
I like that you had Jim still trying to find his way back; that makes sense to me. That, combined with September's big talk about the past is something I think had to have occurred. In the show, we saw them kidding around about 'the magic being gone' and 'we should have started dating a long time ago' and Pam teasing Jim about loving Karen. All those things seemed pretty bizarre to me, and they really only work if something happened like what you have here. (Although Pam teasing Jim about Karen was still sort of 'out there' in terms of sort of disrespecting that relationship/Karen. Sure, that relationship was a sham, but still...)
I thought the 'baby' thing was pretty funny, particularly that he'd still call her that, but only on those days. The fact that they needed something to mock was excellent.
The alternating confessions may have gone on a little long; I don't know what I'd cut, though, except maybe the repeating ones at the end. They may be your favorites, but since they're more obvious, they could go if you were trimming.
In the phrase, "getting use to," it's actually "getting used to" -- that's a common error.
This is a great line: "He had worn down her cynicism, though."
I really like how she thinks about 'their' living room; it's so realistic that her brain would be one step ahead.
So, there are a few specifics. I look forward to November and onward. You'll pretty much get to make it up from there, it seems. Hey, you could do a Christmas wedding -- who could stop you? :)
Author's Response: Thanks, TLK. Yikes, though, I shudder to think how many times I've messed up "getting used to." Live and learn. Always appreciate your reviews.
10 [Report This]Date: December 30, 2007 06:57 pm Title: May to October
I liked all of it.
the first time they said their i love you's made me cry with joy. i was so happy to have heard them say it.
and not like pam/roy did in s3. like a boring, i love you. NO, this was an 'i LOVE you. and i want to be with you.' kind of love you. it was amazingly perfect. keep updating. it is amazing. =)
Author's Response: Awww, thanks so much. What an honor to get a review form John's sister. Say hi to him for me. New chapter is posted. Thanks again!
Date: December 28, 2007 03:28 pm Title: May to October
Well, this review is a wee bit late, but that happens sometimes when I have to reread stories several times because they're so great. Plus, since it's been awhile, I went back and reread all your other stuff. I hope you take this as a sincere compliment. Your stories are wonderful, and your writing just gets better and better.
I think "all over the place" Jim is spot on and maybe that's why we never got to see a first date flashback. Or maybe FNB shooed the cameras away herself. Ha.
I think you've captured S4 Pam very well. She seems to be oozing this calm, self confidence since her coal walk. And having Jim at her side finally makes her realize that being courageous and honest pays off in spades. You get what you want and deserve. I love seeing it though. Handing the lamp to Jim, immediately choosing the Irrigation room, shushing Jim when he tries to interrupt her graphics work, inviting him into the Finer Things Club, finding him practice partners for ping pong, it all speaks of her inner growth. Jim's a lucky guy.
Their little fight was handled very realistically. It's usually the little things building up that bring out the crabbies in people. As long as the problem isn't ignored or minimized, no damage is done. Wish my ex had figured that one out...
And calling Pam "baby" when she's in a bad mood should become a fanon requirement in all future fics. It could become a running joke on MTT. Just awesome and hilarious.
Sorry I rambled. Looking foward to the next installment from you. :)
Author's Response: Wow, EH, thank you. This sort of review definitely makes one want to keep writing. I have favorite authors whose stuff I read and reread and whose back catalogues I delve into, so it's gratifying to think anyone does that for my work. I totally agree with your Pam analysis. I love getting to write happy, confident Pam. I sort of imagine that there is almost an inversion of the stereotypical gender roles early in their relationship, with Jim being anxious and overemotional and all over the place while Pam is calm and steady and doesn't worry about every little thing. (I'm Not saying that stereotype is valid, by the way). In any case, thanks a ton for this awesome review.
8 [Report This]Date: December 27, 2007 08:09 pm Title: May to October
I loved all of it - the happy times and sad times, funny times and serious times, OK first times and even better next times - and love all the time. Great job on their talk about the past - that seemed very real, especially Pam admitting that she did love him when he said it on CN and her explanation of why she never called him. It's good to "hear" from you again, neighbor.
Author's Response:
Why thank you, neighbor. Glad you liked it. I definitely wanted the talk about the past to seem plausible and believable, so I'm gratified that you found it to be real.