Date: April 25, 2008 08:28 am Title: Chapter 18
Ok, I love this to pieces in every way! I love Jon and Josh (and Foley and Levi are great choices). Jim and Pam are the right mix of sweet and hot and just wow! great work.
Author's Response: So glad you're enjoying this! And it's always nice to hear that someone likes Jon/Josh (and glad you agree with the casting choice there -- I would kill to see Krasinski, Foley, and Levi in the same room together....). Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 25, 2008 07:20 am Title: Chapter 18
"Yeah...apparently he has to have it, like, right now." Heeeeee : ) Really happy the angst has evolved (maybe devolved?) into this ; ) Fun chapter.
Author's Response:
Heh -- I couldn't help but include that line. It's funny, because I hadn't intended for this chapter to go in the direction that it did; my plan was to write a chapter working in CN that took them in this direction. But it was such a fun chapter to write, and sometimes I find that it's best to just go with what comes out at the time, if that makes any sense.
In any case: thanks so much for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 25, 2008 06:04 am Title: Chapter 18
Can I just say how much I LOVE this story? Because it is made of awesome. No, really.
Anywho. I wish I had time to make a thorough review to make up for lost time. Sadly real life is calling, so it'll have to wait.
Now that I'm here though, I just wanted to say a few things.
1) Your take on Jim and Pam is spot-on realistic, at least in terms of how I perceive them. You have completely nailed their voices (thoughts and dialogue), which makes it a pleasure to read not only this story but many your other ones as well.
2) Speaking of characters, your character development is also very well carried out. From Pam's (and Jim's) palpable confusion in the beginning to both of them coming to terms with the reality of their feelings all mixed with a healthy dose of humor and sexual tension. It's lovely and beautiful and hot and just very very good.
3) "I'll see you guys later. Pam...you coming?"
That last sentence just about killed me. What's so great about it (aside from what it obviously implies about things to come so to speak), is that it's a completely natural and realistic thing to say in that context (that is the we're-now-leaving one, not the we're-going-home-to-have-sex-right-at-this-minute-or-we'll-combust-due-to-months-and-months-of-sexual-frustration one). :)
4) Finally, I just wanted to say thank you for being the great writer that you are (I promise I'll stop with the gratuitous flattery soon). I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter. If it's even remotely as well written as the last 18 have been, I'm certain that I won't be disappointed. :)
Okay so this review turned out to be a little less cohesive than I would have liked and a lot longer than I had originally planned, but oh well...I'm sure you're not complaining. ;)
Author's Response:
You can say how much you love the story if I can say how much I love your detailed, thoughtful review! My comments to your comments (lol):
1) I'm really, really glad that you find my Jim & Pam realistic, because ultimately, that's what I'm going for. I tend to sometimes write them in situations that are far more dramatic than what we'd ever see on the show, so I try to compensate by sticking as close to their voices as I can.
2) Another thing that was terrific to hear! I'm mystified (and totally impressed) by writers who can offer up a perfectly complete story in a chapter or three. I feel like I have to explore it all in such detail that it annoys me sometimes. :o) But I'm glad you enjoyed the pacing here; I didn't want it to be a matter of Jim kissing Pam & confessing, then bam! she immediately dumps Roy and runs off into the sunset with Jim. I think it'd have been messy however she'd reacted post-confession (even if she'd told Jim she needed time to think).
3) I mentioned in an earlier response that I hadn't initially intended to end the chapter with that line, but then it occurred to me that it could make for a nice little innuendo/naughty foreshadowing. :o)
4) Listen, thank YOU for taking the time to leave such a detailed review; I've said it a bazillion times, but I write because I just love to do it (and I love these characters), so to have anyone respond positively is just a bonus. And corny as it sounds, it does make me happy to hear if I've brightened someone's day. :o)
And no -- there is absolutely NOTHING for me to complain about w/r/t your review! Thanks so much!
10 [Report This]Date: April 25, 2008 03:00 am Title: Chapter 18
wow! Please keep it coming :) One of my fave things about the way you write them is when they stutter and stumble over their words. It's great.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you like that, untherapy -- I actually had the hardest time being okay with using words like "gonna" and inserting "uhs" in there (I'm an English teacher, so...yeah, lol), but when I read my older stuff (with "going" and not many pauses), it makes me cringe because it sounds too stilted.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 25, 2008 01:01 am Title: Chapter 18
I loved the escape and how you threw in a little bit of the tension from DP when Jim tried to leave lol! Can't wait for the next chapter, though I'm sorry to see the story drawing to a close...
Author's Response: I mentioned this in another response, but I wasn't even consciously thinking of the DP connection when I wrote that! :) It's the weirdest thing, actually. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 24, 2008 11:39 pm Title: Chapter 18
Ha, I totally got excited because in the back of my brain I was thinking, 'yea, we get more Josh!' Then I realized, no dummy, that was a ploy to get out of there so they can go...do stuff. *wink wink* Which then led me to think, well...dirty, giddy thoughts. Bring on the next chapter!
Loved Jim and Ryan's interaction at the end. Very funny!
Author's Response:
Your name just makes me laugh and laugh, hildawookie. :o) Yeah, no more Josh, but I think you'll be okay with what you'll get instead. (pervy Kevin smile) I added the Jim/Ryan thing as an after thought; much as we're supposed to hate Ryan this season, I'm loving the job BJ is doing with him.
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 24, 2008 09:28 pm Title: Chapter 18
First of all, way to weave in 'Conflict Resolution' but make it way less angsty for our dynamic duo!
I love them just making out in the hallway to the bathrooms and just having to get out of there! Great work!
Author's Response: Thank you! I took great pleasure in giving that one a happy ending, let me tell you. (Ur...TWSS.) :o) Thanks so much for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 24, 2008 07:54 pm Title: Chapter 18
I'm going to be sorry to see the story end but I am loving the way you're doing it. I like how you worked in not only Conflict Resolution but also Chair Model!! You are the macDaddy (or Momma, I guess!) of fanfic!
Author's Response: Yeah, I'm always a little sad to finish a fic, but I have to admit that I've had an idea to do a series of one-shots that I've been forcing myself to ignore (instead finishing this fic first). You know, I actually didn't consciously work in CM -- or DP, which is something someone else mentioned! Guess they're Fruedian slips or something. :o) Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 24, 2008 07:07 pm Title: Chapter 18
HhhhhhhHHHHOT. Oh yeah. Whew. Enjoying the HECK out of this one! Hurry with the next chapter!
Author's Response: Heh, glad you're enjoying it! And I swear I'm not just being a tease when I tell you the heat is racheted up several notches in the next chapter (which I'll hopefully be posting soon). Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 24, 2008 05:33 pm Title: Chapter 18
Simply great!
B
Author's Response: Thanks, batman! :o)
Date: April 24, 2008 05:05 pm Title: Chapter 18
Loved it, as usual. But extra kudos on the timeline-appropriate choice of Liz Phair!! That cracked me up, especially since it has exactly the kind of over the top, super-literal lyrics I'm sure Kelly would totally identify with.
Author's Response:
It's funny that you singled out the Liz Phair song, because that idea came to me really early on, and I so wanted to work it in. I'd initially planned on interspersing Jim & Pam's conversation with bits of the lyrics as Kelly sang them; it was going to be something that sort of added to the palpable tension between the two of them, given the content of the song. But I sent the draft to my beta with the question, "Does this work?" (which is what I ask when my gut's telling me no, it does NOT work, lol), and she agreed that some of the lyrics were a touch too racy for Kelly to actually sing them casually in front of her co-workers. (You know, the whole, "Here we are / we're at the beginning / we haven't f***ed yet / but my head's spinning." I mean...Kelly's not a slut, but who knows? lol)
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 24, 2008 03:56 pm Title: Chapter 18
"I'll see you guys later. Pam...you coming?"
Oh, girl7, you are such a tease....All I have to say is that she better be!
Obviously this is just all kinds of fantabulous. I mean, seriously! Effing awesome!
While this entire chapter had me with a GIANT smile on my face, I have to point out two parts that absolutely made me giddy:
1. She waits for him to finish, and when he doesn't, she teases, "Why, Jim Halpert...do you miss me?"
"I did not say that." He retorts indignantly, listening for her laughter; when he hears it, he adds, "Okay, so...yeah, I miss you. There, I said it."
She's smiling from ear to ear, her cheeks again feeling a little warm, but still she can't help herself. "Awww...did you cry?"
He grins, doesn't skip a beat. "Quietly on the side of my bed every night, yes, but I don't see what that's got to do with anything."
This exchange just pinpoints the reason I love Jim and Pam so much...and it also points out just how amazingly well you know them.
2. Still, he can't help but tease Pam just a little. "Uh...yeah, I open doors; sometimes I close them, too. Oh, and you should totally see how I outsmart a baby gate."
This had me seriously cracking up. Classic Jim Halpert.
Also...the little hot steamy banter at the end--"Keep talking like that, and your brother's on his own."--Wow. I squeed and freaked out and love love loved it!!!
So yeah, I'm going to need you to update, like, yesterday...but if these are the kinds of chapters we get from you...then take your time! So great, girl7!
Author's Response:
First: God, I love your reviews! :o) Second: In a week, I'm going to have some time off, and I have every intention of reading and reviewing some of your stuff! (I've read great things about you in the recommendations thread, you know. :o) )
That last line wasn't planned; or rather, I hadn't intended originally to end the chapter with that. But then I just looked at it and thought...eh, why not? lol
I must confess: the whole sobbing-quietly-on-the-side-of-my-bed line is yet another thing I've stolen shamelessly from my husband; he busted that one out on me when we were dating, and I thought it was just the funniest thing.
As for the opening doors/baby gate thing -- I had so much fun writing that exchange! Perhaps I've been lurking too much lately in the fanfic pet peeves thread, but I'm suddenly very conscious of trying not to write them as overly sappy or dramatic, so a lot of the lightness in this chapter is a reflection of that, I think.
I'm hoping to get the next chapter posted later tonight -- have to edit it first (and tone it down, believe it or not -- how's that for a tease?? lol).
Thanks, as always, for such a detailed and thoughtful review!
Date: April 24, 2008 03:37 pm Title: Chapter 18
Awesome. I love this story. I can actually picture Jim and Pam speaking your dialogue. You really know your characters. Let's take these kids to Smuttytown next chapter...okay? ;)
Author's Response:
Well now that's something I love to hear -- that I know the characters and the dialogue is believable, because really, that's ultimately what I'm going for! As for taking the kids to Smuttytown, I've got a draft of the next chapter done, and trust me....smut-o-meter is high, lol.
Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 24, 2008 03:05 pm Title: Chapter 18
girl7--I love this so much. It is everything that fic should be, but then you practically wrote the how-to manual of Office fic, so it's no surprise. I love that you always surprise me in your stories--while I know you're great with angst and steam and whatnot, now you come out and show me you're fabulous with ensemble too! I'm sure it's in your other stories (and that it's wonderful), but for some reason it really stands out here.
Beautiful work, and of course I can't wait for more! -CH
Author's Response:
Wow -- thank you so much, CH! I always find trying to write ensemble scenes incredibly daunting, because I worry about writing caricatures of the other characters sometimes. But it's always fun to give it a try, and heaven knows I had a blast writing this chapter.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 23, 2008 11:58 am Title: Chapter 17
So let's see. How late can I post a review? Hmm.
I read this again as I sat outside eating my lunch. It's quite warm in the sun and I was sweating, which only made this chapter even more fun to read.
I adore the way you intersperse the heat with the joking, which is so very them. You never let us forget that yes, they're fooling around, but it's still those same two dorks you see on the show.
I don't know how Pam can ever let that boy leave. Whether it's all angsty like in "Climbing", or steamy and sweet like here. Especially once she got that shirt off him. Ah, well, if Pam wants to take it slow, I certainly don't mind "suffering" through some more smooching and foreplay. All for a good cause. ;)
Author's Response:
Heh -- you make me laugh, EH. :o) I'm really glad you found the heat/joking to sound like them; I kind of think that they'd still be teasing each other even in moments that are more heated. As for Pam taking it slow -- it's that debate we've all engaged in at some point online, right? I do think she'd want to take it slow, but (spoiler alert! lol) I think she'd find that she's not able to last long. At all. And I shall say no more. :o)
Thanks, as always, for reviewing!
Date: April 21, 2008 10:26 pm Title: Chapter 17
awww...yay!! so cute.
I like that in your stories you have the story change totally by way of an inner monologue, something thats going on with one of them. i think its one of the unique things about the Office--that things aren't all spelled out on the outside but that we have to hypothesize about motivation and thoughts to understand the plot, and I like that its translated in your stories.
thanks for this happy chapter!
Author's Response:
You know, buymeacoke, that's exactly how I got sucked into writing fanfic in the first place -- after CN aired for the first time, I was absolutely obsessed with the notion of exploring what was going on in Jim's head...which made me curious about what was going on in Pam's head...which led to my writing a gazillion fics, and here we are. :o) But I definitely think one of the main reasons people are drawn to writing Office fic is precisely what you stated: That there's so much subtext left unexplored on the show, and it's always intriguing to explore it.
Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 21, 2008 06:47 pm Title: Chapter 17
Damn. How do you do it? How do you write such perfectly romantic scenes? Like, seriously. You should write a book about it. LOL And that line about running 4 way stops still cracks me up.
Author's Response: Damn. How do YOU do it?? Hee. (I don't know why it came to me to respond that way.) Glad you enjoyed the additions and the 4-way stop joke. :o)
Date: April 21, 2008 11:11 am Title: Chapter 1
Okay, I had to stop in the middle of this story to leave a review. I think everyone has covered how unbelievable-y sexy hot this chap is, so I'll let that part be.
I do have to comment on this one line "...makes him realize that he'd gladly propose to her right now if he knew she'd say yes".
I love love love that - it completely portrayed Vulnerable!Jim without over explaining all his Jam baggage. It was perfect and, even touched on (what I believe is) his hesitancy to come out and pop the question to her on the show. I think it is less about perfect timing and more about seeing how 'warm the water is'. It would be slightly soul crushing to hear an "I can't" again - even it is followed with a 'yet'.
Anywhoo ... I'm off to finish the story! Sorry for my gushy-ness! Sometimes a line just speaks to you, you know?
Job well done, girl7!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for stopping to review, FashionShow! I'd written the draft of this chapter before I saw CM, but I do see how it could set up the same sort of correlation. And yeah, I agree with you that there are no real worries for Jim & Pam on the show; I think there's no way we're going to get another "I can't." No way. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 21, 2008 06:06 am Title: Chapter 17
Now I'm sitting here grinning like a big idiot. Seriously, girl7! How you manage to do this time and again is beyond me, but this was fantastic. It was all kinds of hot and sweet and romantic and lustful and anticipatory. So, so great. PLEASE tell me that when Pam comes home on Sunday, she more than calls Jim. So great!
Author's Response:
Yay - glad I could make you smile! While my real love is writing angst (I have no idea why....), I have to admit that it's a lot of fun to write them bantering and to explore that UST. :o)
As for whether or not there's more than a phone call on Sunday, hmmm.... Do you want me to answer that? Or would you rather I take the Greg Daniels approach? "Oh, there's more than a phone call...but is it from Jim or ROY!!?!" (Cue dramatic music) I don't know why I'm knocking GD; he doesn't really do that, does he? LOL. Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 21, 2008 04:26 am Title: Chapter 17
girl7 you just made a delayed flight a much more bearable experience! I can't believe I just read this in a public place - so hot! You kept it really believable, though - I can totally see Pam wanting to wait. However...I am wondering if we're gonna have magic week now (the one that leads up to Jim feeling like he should buy a ring) where things just crescendo to complete awesomeness between them (not that you aren't already there, really). Or is that another story? I was already so happy about JAM this week and this only made it better. Thanks for posting!
Author's Response:
Eh, I'm sorry your flight was delayed! (But I'm glad I was able to help you pass the time....) It's great to hear that you find it believable that Pam would want to wait; I mentioned in an earlier response that I know the opinions on that vary greatly, and I worry about writing her as too naive.
It's funny that you asked whether or not this was intended to chronicle the infamous week leading to the ring -- actually, no, I hadn't planned that, but I have been batting around the idea of reviving my first date fic, "Stolen," which sort of chronicles in great detail their first date. And it actually could set the stage for me to pick it up and continue on for the remaining week. I haven't decided yet whether or not to do that -- I'm not sure anybody would be interested in reading it, as the story was finished (technically) months and months ago.
But I'm definitely interested in exploring that week in some fashion. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 21, 2008 01:14 am Title: Chapter 17
Oh wow. Fantastic chapter- the teasing and understanding between them, and Jim's inability to get out of the door... just wonderful.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I really wanted to sort of balance the tension and awkwardness of dealing with the issue of sex against some humor, you know? Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 20, 2008 10:56 pm Title: Chapter 17
Door kiss = HOTT.
"Oh my god...this is what Jim is like as a boyfriend; he wants you to drive safely, asks you to call him when you get back to town. ...Makes it okay when you turn into a twelve year-old dork about sex." Love this!
Author's Response: Heh, heh -- I must admit that I totally stole Jim's line ("This might take awhile") from an old boyfriend. :o) So glad you're enjoying this!
Date: April 20, 2008 10:31 pm Title: Chapter 17
Oh, that was just lovely! I love that Pam isn't quite sure of herself just quite yet, but she's really really close to getting there. Their goodbye was just the sweetest thing ever!
Author's Response: Thanks, Jenn! Yeah, she's on her way to getting it together (with Jim, of course). :o) So glad you enjoyed this!
Author's Response: Thanks, Jenn! Yeah, she's on her way to getting it together (with Jim, of course). :o) So glad you enjoyed this!
Author's Response: Thanks, Jenn! Yeah, she's on her way to getting it together (with Jim, of course). :o) So glad you enjoyed this!
Author's Response: Thanks, Jenn! Yeah, she's on her way to getting it together (with Jim, of course). :o) So glad you enjoyed this!
Date: April 20, 2008 08:25 pm Title: Chapter 17
AWESOME! I can't wait for an update!!
Author's Response: Thank you! And I'll be updating soon, promise! :o)
10 [Report This]Date: April 20, 2008 08:15 pm Title: Chapter 17
Quality
Author's Response: For some reason, your one-word review made me laugh -- though you could've said, "Righteous" and it would've been even funnier. :o) Seriously, though -- thanks for reviewing; I do appreciate it!