Date: March 08, 2008 05:59 pm Title: Chapter 2
WHAT? xoxoxo said you left it on a cliffhanger but this is just cruel! I am dying to know what happens next. That's a good sign :-)
I always enjoy reading your stuff and I think this is such an interesting take. Pam didn't have the good sense to take Jim's Christmas gift but she was able to break up with Roy...kind of the opposite of what happened on the show. It's still believable and you've definitely got me hooked!
Author's Response: Hey there sudz. Sorry to be cruel :) One thing I wanted to suggest with this story is that not having Jim to lean on and talk to would put extra pressure on Pam's relationship with Roy, perhaps breaking it. I'm glad it came off as believable.
Date: March 08, 2008 05:33 pm Title: Chapter 2
Loved it! Can't wait for the next one!!
Author's Response: Thanks, skeber!
Date: March 08, 2008 03:04 pm Title: Chapter 2
I love the quiet way you ended things between Pam and Roy - and Pam's mom...and Phyllis' screen name...and Jim.
I know he didn't do much in this chapter - but it has to be said. :)
Excellent work. Cannot wait to see what comes next. So write fast!!
Author's Response:
Thanks, xoxoxo. This chapter was certainly more fun to write than the first one, where Jim isn't so lovable. Can't promise fast writing, I'm afraid, but you'll be the first to see what comes next. Thanks for everything.
Author's Response:
Thanks, xoxoxo. This chapter was certainly more fun to write than the first one, where Jim isn't so lovable. Can't promise fast writing, I'm afraid, but you'll be the first to see what comes next. Thanks for everything.
9 [Report This]Date: March 08, 2008 02:12 pm Title: Chapter 2
I thoroughly enjoyed it, brokenloon. Anxiously awaiting more.
Author's Response: Thanks, NanReg. I'm looking forward to writing more.
9 [Report This]Date: March 03, 2008 09:35 am Title: Chapter 1
I really like this take on the whole iPod saga. I don't think I've ever read a story in which Pam kept it and had to deal with the consequences, so you definitely get originality bonus points from me for that.
I especially liked (is "liked" the right word?) the scene when Pam realizes that there were additional gifts in the teapot. It was painful to read (which is maybe why "liked" isn't the best choice of words there :P), but it was very well written.
Question which I hope will be addressed in subsequent chapters: what happened to the card Jim wrote? Was he able to rescue it before Dwight claimed ownership of the teapot? Inquiring minds, dude.
I will say that I was a little taken aback with Jim's sleeping with some random girl at first, but upon reflection, I suppose it makes sense within the context of the story you're telling, as it was part of a bad pattern of behavior that Jim realized he was descending into.
Excellent work overall. Look forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks so much Mose. I know this wasn't a very happy chapter, but I hope you'll hang in there. I'm not one for writing tragedies. As for the card, your question will indeed be addressed in subsequent chapters. As for Jim, I agree, in general he is not a casual sex kind of guy. I thought a lot about how he might behave if he were bitter and shut down to his feelings. I imagine him taking the path of least resistance; he really just doesn't care. So, while I didn't want to depict him making a point of running around sleeping with everyone in sight, I thought he might not push an encounter away if one came along.
Date: March 03, 2008 09:07 am Title: Chapter 1
This is heart rending. I mean when you set your mind to writing angst, you do it full bore. However, it is so completely true to life and well done. Nothing here is overly dramatic, everything here is exactly as it could have been and truthfully probably would have been had the show been two real people trying to fall out of love with each other. There are some passages in here btw that are so completely spot on and well written - well the whole thing is well written but the part where Jim ponders why she didn't take the teapot and the part where she feels the abyss coming on...superb. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response:
I think I can only stand the angst because I'm in control of it. I was definitely shooting for realism here, so very glad that it rings true. Like a few of my stories, this one never happens if not for you. And, speaking of can't wait for more...there's a certain other Christmas party story I can't wait for more of. Thanks for the review and for everything.
Date: March 02, 2008 07:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
Holy smokes, brokenloon is serving heaping helping of angst for everyone. Thanks for not letting Jim be a total dick. I cannot wait to see what his plan is.
Author's Response: You know me, Hoo, I'm Mr. Angst. Not giving away future plot, but Jim's dick period is over. Thanks for the review.
9 [Report This]Date: March 02, 2008 04:42 pm Title: Chapter 1
Really interesting twist on the usual. Looking forward to seeing where this is headed.
Author's Response: Thanks, NanReg. More coming fairly soon, I hope.
Date: March 02, 2008 08:49 am Title: Chapter 1
A new fic from you is always welcome. I don't blame Jim at all for pushing Pam away and protecting himself, but I'm glad it was just a brief phase, and not an entire TV season! Can't wait to read what's next!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, EH. Well, I think the wrters on the show had to work pretty hard to stretch out Jim's shutting down his feelings for Pam for a whole year. I prefer this time frame too.
10 [Report This]Date: March 02, 2008 04:43 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh yay!!! When you told me you posted I expected to be left at the same point I was when you first let me read this. It was a lovely surprise to see the new sections with Jim and Pam.
I love how you describe the "demise" of Pam and Roy's relationship and the way you've written Jim's thought process in regards to other women is precisely why I adore him.
And I suspect it's almost fixed - or at least on it's way so I'm happy.
And of course - that's what's most important. ;) LOL!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. xoxoxo, and thanks for your help and encouragement. Glad to hear you found Jim adorable--I was worried that even his brief fall from grace would be upsetting. I'll likely be sending more along your way before too long.
Date: March 01, 2008 10:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Brokenloon--I like this a lot! I think your description of Jim's transition and torment is right on key, and I'm eager to see how, indeed, he plans to apologize. Kudos on making Roy's flaws and imperfections a subtle discovery for our girl Pam. I think you've set up a fabulous story here, my friend, I'm buckled in and ready for you to take me down the freeway-of-fun-stories at breakneck (or brokenloon?) speed! --CH
Author's Response: Thanks much, CH, and thanks for your contributions. I'm not exactly sure what brokenloon speed is--not terribly fast I don't think--,but we'll get down the freeway soon.
Date: March 01, 2008 09:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
I was so excited to see a new story from you! I love your writing. This is such an interesting twist. Can't wait for more updates!
Author's Response: Thnaks so much Annika. This is a different sort of thing for me, but it's been in my head for months. There will be more updates.