10 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 10:02 pm Title: Epilogue
I love this ending, and I love all three of your stories (to date). Keep writing! Also, it's really great how you update your stories so quickly.
Author's Response: Oh, grapejelly . . . I can't stand the idea of a story out there unfinished. Fortunately, I love writing them. Unfortunately, I get obsessed and ingore just about everything else. Ah well. Thanks for reading it and taking the time to review!
Date: March 07, 2008 10:01 pm Title: Epilogue
Aww, that was very cute and a great way to wrap it up! Fab job :)
Date: March 07, 2008 06:36 pm Title: Chapter 4
My birthday is Oct 18 ... is it a sign that Jim/John and I are supposed to be together forever? Maybe I should tell my husband ... hmm. Nah.
Love the story, FYI.
10 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 05:45 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, and BTW, the bonfire is still coming ;-) (Couldn't figure out how to add to my response...)
Date: March 07, 2008 05:37 pm Title: Chapter 6
First, I want to say that I'm very much looking forward to a birthday epilogue. It sounds like a nice cap to a wonderful story.
I was eager to read this chapter, to have Pam have her moment and be able to soothe Jim's fears and anxieties. And I'm not one to criticize in a review usually, but every chapter has beaten my expectations so far and I thought I'd be honest. This chapter fell a little flat to me with being told about Pam's confessions instead of "hearing" them. After a while, it seemed like a laundry list of every episode instead of conversation or even a soliloquy. I know there was so much to cover, but it just didn't match up with the rest of the very powerful story and confrontation you were building. Plus, I kinda wanted to see the "bonfire of the green panties" (which was a genius turn of phrase by the way!).
Anyway, I'm still a huge fan of your work and I do hope you'll wrap this up with a little birthday celebration :)
Author's Response: Jenn -- you're not the only one who thought so (see another review a few down...). I struggled a bit with it because I wanted to confession to be from Jim's point of view (instead of Pam's), and I didn't want it to just be a monologue -- as we saw in Beach Games, I don't think Pam would give an eloquent speech, and I wasn't sure how to write a dialog between Jim and Pam that would work and read smoothly. Just laziness on my part, I guess. In my hurry to update, I probably rushed it a bit. But thanks for you honest comments -- they really help!
Date: March 07, 2008 04:37 pm Title: Chapter 1
I really like this story so please don't take this the wrong way, but just a teensy bit of criticism. The constant comparison of masterful lover Jim to big dumb oafish lover Roy kind of takes me out of it. It wasn't a big deal the first time, because I mean, it's normal for a person to draw comparisons and I can see that, but it's kind of gotten distracting by this point. Maybe just cut back on the Roy comparisons just a touch?
I really, really do love it though. And I'm actually not a Roy fan. I agree with the general opinion that he was all wrong for Pam and yeah, probably kind of a selfish jerk in bed. It just feels like maybe it's being driven home a little bit too hard.
Please keep going though. I really like your writing style. And I really like the way you write Jim. (Especially masterful lover Jim ;) )
Author's Response: Point well taken . . . I guess I was a bit heavy handed. But I wanted to point out the comparison because, well, Pam's only been with Roy before Jim and perhaps didn't know there were any other . . . styles. Some women might like Roy just fine in bed. I just think someone like Pam, who had limited experience, would notice the differences. Especially after being with one man for 10 years (at such a young age). But I totally see your point. Thanks for your comments!
Date: March 07, 2008 04:20 pm Title: Chapter 6
I wrote a lovely and eloquent review and then I got logged off...I'll try again, but I can't promise my previous brillance to be duplicated.
That made me a little teary. I think that everyone has felt like Pam at some point. It doesn't seem to matter how long you've been with someone, or how much love there is between you...thinking about before, them with other people is so hard. And Jim and Pam had to witness most of it firsthand.
This was such a perfect resolution, beautiful...with all the right emotion in the right places. Fantastic job
Author's Response: Thanks PamPong! Yeah, that thinking about the one you're with with someone else blows. And you're right . . . Pam and Jim did have to just sit by and watch. Ouch. Thanks so much for your nice comments!
10 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 02:22 pm Title: Chapter 6
I LOVE how you split the story so that we get both Jim and Pam's POVs. And it's always bugged me that Pam never really tells Jim how insanely in love with him she is.
So it was worth the wait. But I would really like to push you to that birthday epilogue ;-) I think that it'd be some of the hottest Jamfic ever.
I've absolutely loved the story. (+adding to faves!)
Date: March 07, 2008 01:54 pm Title: Chapter 6
Flattered you liked the 'green-eyed panty monster' thing and of course you're welcome to it - though I thought your bonfire of the panties was far more clever. And what can I say? Tortured Jim, Angry-Sex Jim, Contrite Jim, Sweet-Loving Jim...hard to pick a fave, lol but they're all believable here. As was Pam's purge - and that he clearly needed to hear it as much as she needed to say it. Looking forward to this b'day epilogue...intriguing ;-)
Author's Response: Colette -- thanks so much. I wasn't sure if anyone would get the "bonfire of the green panties" thing . . . I clearly underestimated the readers here! ;-) I agree -- which Jim to choose (*taps chin thoughtfully*). They're all. so. GOOD. As always, I appreciate your thoughts!
Date: March 07, 2008 01:20 pm Title: Chapter 6
Thanks for sharing this story. Interesting take having Jim think that Pam's not as invested in their relationship because she didn't take as many overt risks like he did.
Your Jim/Pam dialogue really carries your stories, you do such a good job with it. I thought that this chapter could have been so much more powerful, and flowed better with the rest of the story, if you had given Pam an active voice during her "purging". I felt that all of the "She told him..." statements/paragraphs lessened the importance/effect of what she was saying . Does that make sense? I'm no writer, but I appreciate good dialogue, and you do that well. Just would have liked to have seen more of that here.
Thanks again for sharing, looking forward to seeing how you wrap this up.
Author's Response: ShunUnhsun, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts -- you bring up a good point. I guess it just comes down to style (and maybe laziness? impatience?) -- I thought about doing more dialogue, but there was so much ground to cover. How to handle all those topics in a monologue (or dialogue -- I just pictured it more of a Pam purging/venting vs. a give and take conversation) . . . anyway, it just seemed like too much to try to attempt. I guess I could have picked and choosed (chosen?) the things she covered, but I liked the idea of her spilling out to him all the things that we saw that Jim didn't see in seasons 1 - 3. Anyway, you definitely bring up a good point -- I'll keep it in mind for my next fic. Thanks again!
8 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 12:38 pm Title: Chapter 6
That conversation was a log time coming. Good work.
--Strider
Author's Response: Thanks for all your comments, Strider! Glad you enjoyed it.
9 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 12:31 pm Title: Chapter 5
Oh...sigh... I love angry sex. It's so intense. Good job.
--Strider
8 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 12:28 pm Title: Chapter 4
Poor Dwight. And poor Jim. They have so much pain to work through. You really do a good job of letting that pain rear its head at unexpected times.
--Strider
8 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 12:22 pm Title: Chapter 3
You know, I do marital and pre-marital counseling, and I can tel you, women do this all the time. They (we, since I am a girl) do expect men to read our minds, and we set them up to fail tests they didn't know they were taking. Jim's right to be irritated, but Pam probably needs some time to figure out how she's feeling...
--Strider
8 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 12:16 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is very realistic. SYmbolic things like this are never about just the thing itself, but about all the emotional baggage that is attached to them. Good insights. But they have to talk about it sometime, right?
--Strider
Date: March 07, 2008 12:10 pm Title: Chapter 1
What a great beginning! I loved hearing how they finally came together. But she can't think he's been celibate all this time...
--Strider
10 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2008 11:45 am Title: Chapter 6
fantastic!!! i really enjoyed this chapter. not line any one i have ever read before. really, really well written ... go PAM!!
Author's Response: Thanks Mary. Glad you liked it!
Date: March 07, 2008 11:41 am Title: Chapter 1
I am completely in love with this chapter. I don't think I have ever read something that so accurately describes why Pam acted the way she did. It was just completely perfect... and I'm not gonna lie I got a little choked up reading it. Great job!
Date: March 07, 2008 11:08 am Title: Chapter 6
I've got to tell you, this chapter made my breath catch in my throat; when Jim says, "If you break my heart again...I'm done," I gasped aloud. Such a gut-wrenching line, that, and this whole chapter is just....wow. I've been writing fanfic for well over a year now, and god knows I've thought about CN and its aftermath far too many times to be healthy (ha), but it never occurred to me that Jim might be afraid because he thought Pam didn't risk herself for him in the same way he does for her. What you've written here is just amazing because it really rings so true - and god, I love it that she just purged (an apt word for it, BTW), just let it all out. Because she so needed to -- they both needed to.
This was awesome! And hooray for a possible birthday epilogue!!!
Author's Response: Girl7, thanks so much for all your detailed (and really, really nice) comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It feels great to touch people (TWSS) -- we're all so (sort of sadly) invested in Jim and Pam and just, GUH, it's fun to deal with all the issues the show can't (or won't). Thanks again!
Date: March 07, 2008 11:05 am Title: Chapter 5
Okay, this? Was HOT. Whoa. Very hot. And you know, you really pulled it off well -- it could've easily read like mindless angry sex (and could've easily slipped right out of character), but you really do a great job here of capturing the nuances of the emotion -- particularly Jim's hurt pride and aching ego.
Seriously -- hot stuff, lady. Wow. :o)
Date: March 07, 2008 11:03 am Title: Chapter 4
Ohhh...don't you love those chapters that make you their bitch? The ones that -- as you said -- just kind of create themselves? So much fun to write.... :o)
I love this chapter -- your detail with regard to Jim's frame of mind when he was with Karen is just so real, so heartbreaking. Of course it was probably easier for him to sleep alone than with Karen, because he was trying so hard to make himself feel things that he just didn't. I'm definitely not a Karen hater -- actually really liked the character (well, before they made her all clingy) -- but I also think that relationship was doomed from the beginning because he was still in love with Pam.
And Dwight...guh, your Dwight is just heartbreaking (and spot on! Loved the way he asked Jim to have lunch with him - ha!). I really got the sense in "Money" that Dwight's pain over Angela is seriously resonating with Jim, taking him back to his own dark time a year before. So sad.
Excellent chapter, once again!
Date: March 07, 2008 11:00 am Title: Chapter 3
You may call yourself an unabashed Jim lover (yeah, I belong to that club, too), but I don't think what you present here is at all unfairly biased in his direction; I think it's a very real depiction of how he likely felt during all those months after CN, then after he was transferred back. I've always thought that there was no one to blame in everything that happened -- that they both just made some mistakes. But they were very understandable mistakes - and you do a great job of presenting that here.
Off to the next chapter!
Date: March 07, 2008 10:57 am Title: Chapter 2
I have to tell you, it's really difficult to write lengthy interior monologues that are compelling (says the woman whose very first fic ever was met with the sound of crickets because it was almost allllll interior monologue, hee). But you really just do an excellent job with it here -- I love the glimpse you give into what Pam was thinking and feeling over season three (and I think you present a spot-on depiction of her, too).
And their fight -- see, while I think it's easy to assume that once they finally got together, it'd be so incredibly amazing, with no bumps -- what you present here is a lot more realistic. They left so much left unsaid - and for so long - that those old feelings are bound to re-surface every now and again. Add to that some insecurity, and you've got yourself a fight that's totally irrational, but one in which we've all engaged at some point.
Just terrific!
Date: March 07, 2008 10:53 am Title: Chapter 1
So I decided to just ignore the pile of work on my desk and thought I'd pop on over here and read the most recently posted thing -- and here I am almost 45 minutes later, grinning like an insane woman (because I read the entire thing in one sitting and couldn't stop to review each chapter -- that's how drawn in I was! ...But I'm dutifully reviewing them all now. ;o) )
Seriously -- love, love their voices in this chapter; I laughed out loud more than once. And sigh. Colette's right -- green eyed panty monster is exactly the name for those damn undies. :o)
Okay, off to review the next chapter....
Date: March 07, 2008 10:31 am Title: Chapter 6
wow. try reading this while listening to 'make this go on forever' by snow patrol... sad. but still very JAM. great job, :)