10 [Report This]Date: May 15, 2008 05:47 am Title: There's a joke in here about hot dogs, but it escapes me at the moment.
How am I going to get any work done today? I'm going to be revisiting this chapter again and again, I just know it.
Date: May 15, 2008 05:46 am Title: There's a joke in here about hot dogs, but it escapes me at the moment.
Melt. SG, forgive me for not reviewing right away, but you keep melting my brain.
Love the sleepy, hazy, dream-like tone of this chapter -- Pam and her trip back in time to old-fashioned romance.
And how vulnerable must Jim have felt, with her seeing his post-it notes to 'be nice to Pam' and 'buy Beef n' Cheddar?'. It's like reading someone's diary. And he just stood there and let her see past the bravado and the flirting. Guh.
10 [Report This]Date: May 15, 2008 05:45 am Title: There's a joke in here about hot dogs, but it escapes me at the moment.
*deep exhale* Pretty much speechless...that's me right now. Chills chills chills, and here's the reason:
Her hands trace him and slide across him and when she reaches the masculine slant of his jaw she realizes that he’s open-eyed and watching her, quiet and unmoving but most definitely awake with the warmth of his stare grabbing onto her and holding her still.
and this
She knows now that if she wants to be his Katherine Hepburn she has to let him be her Cary Grant, and maybe that’s why her life has been painfully Technicolor for so long. Maybe that’s why things are only now turning 1930’s and silver screen and only now being filled up with romance and a dependable man. Man...just got chills again. Total awesomeness, stablergirl (and sweetpea).
Date: May 14, 2008 10:12 pm Title: There's a joke in here about hot dogs, but it escapes me at the moment.
"She reaches up and brushes a finger against it and she feels like she wants to tell him her appointments and her birthday and the things she likes to do so that eventually her name will be on every post-it and will cover up and span the paint here, make the wood look completely yellow and full of her. " Guh.
Can't believe there's only one more chapter! Can't wait!
10 [Report This]Date: May 14, 2008 07:50 pm Title: There's a joke in here about hot dogs, but it escapes me at the moment.
Theres about a zillion things I want to say about how amazing this story and this chapter are, but the only thing I can get my head around is how the end of this was so lovely and beautiful and tender that I'm actually crying. Seriously.
I'll write more when I'm more coherent, promise. But for now just know that you've really managed to create something vibrant and real and honest and just .... brilliant. It's fucking brilliant and that -- as they say -- is that.
I'm off to smile and sigh and cry some more....
10 [Report This]Date: May 14, 2008 07:31 pm Title: There's a joke in here about hot dogs, but it escapes me at the moment.
Gorgeous. Such amazing imagery and emotion. Your writing is spectacular and the characterizations are utterly real. Really amazing work! I loved the post-its and Pam finding herself included so tangibly in his life. Fantastic.
This is such a fantastic, amazing story, so original, so well written, cannot possibly rave enough. Definitely one of the best stories on MTT. I'll be so sorry to see it wrap up!
10 [Report This]Date: May 14, 2008 07:17 pm Title: There's a joke in here about hot dogs, but it escapes me at the moment.
Oh, that was so good! It was soft and lazy, and just wonderful. I am so impatient to see how you end this.
Date: May 14, 2008 08:13 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Dying here, stablergirl. Where are you?! Updating this story should be your number one priority. Right? RIGHT???? I'M FEELING VERY FRAGILE RIGHT NOW! *faints*
10 [Report This]Date: May 11, 2008 08:48 pm Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Oh stablergirl, where areeeee youuuuuu? It's been almost a week. That's waaaayy too long to wait for an update. I know you have a real life and all, but letting it take over your fanfic writing time? Now that's just poor time management. Please grace us with a new chapter soon.
10 [Report This]Date: May 11, 2008 01:40 pm Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Well, the other day I posted a list of ten of my favorite MTT stories over on the NorthernAttack forums:
http://forums.northernattack.com/comments.php?DiscussionID=151&page=49
I said this is the best story of all time on MTT ... and I mean it! It amazing to me that you can pack so much sizzling sex, great characterizations and emotional development into this story. I know it can't go forever but I'm really sad to read your author's response above that says "a couple chapters to go."
You are one phenomenal writer!
Date: May 08, 2008 02:02 pm Title: It's not that I hate you, it's just that I hate everything about you.
Amazing chapter! amazing! the emotions I mean god, I'm completely in love
Date: May 07, 2008 08:49 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Stablergirl, I was just reading this for like the 10th time since you've posted this update (really), and I just had to let you know. It's really under my skin. It's just THAT GOOD.
Date: May 06, 2008 06:23 pm Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
ahhhhh...that was quite lovely.
Beautiful imagery describing the fall into love!
Date: May 06, 2008 04:18 pm Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
I love that you have the freaking BALLS to take this story beyond just total animal lust. There I said wrote it. BALLS, my friend. (Not that the animal lust wasn't immensely satisfying for all involved.)
This is the scary part of relationships -- when you let on to yourself (and the other person) that you actually care and then all of a sudden you have something to lose. And in Jim's world, he hasn't given away very much until now, not even bringing women into his apartment, or for that matter, into his 'real' life. So, what is kind of a throwaway gesture to anyone else, is bigtime for Jim.
And the risky maneuver here, is to take a character like Famous!Jim, and take him out of his fake world with girls with butterfly tattoos that he picks up at Tink's and what the hell does a guy like that do in the world of real-live grownups? Or Pam, for that matter?
And can they even be together with the backdrop of the 'fake reality' series behind them. Isn't this the "Summer of Limbo"? Does Pam need to be pretend-engaged to Roy? What is going to happen on the show? My head is exploding. (I know you can't answer any of those questions until they come up in the next chapters, but I thought you should know that I think about these doubly fictional characters waaaay too much.
P.S. You rock.
10 [Report This]Date: May 06, 2008 11:06 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
I love your writing style. Sometimes it's meant to be read slowly and methodically and other times I just have to tear through it. The words you choose make that happen easily.
10 [Report This]Date: May 06, 2008 11:03 am Title: Lions and tigers and housecats, oh my god, I hate my life.
This has been my favorite chapter... just had to mark it as such. :-)
"But for some reason, which probably has something to do with her sudden craving for the kind of cat that will pin her down and show her no mercy, she just sits here..."
mmmmmmmm
Date: May 06, 2008 10:22 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
You are so talented, Stablergirl. You get the thoughts in the head angst-I like her more than she likes me the self-doubt like no other!! I am so hooked on this story and i know it is ending, but dammit, i want 10 more chapters!!!
10 [Report This]Date: May 06, 2008 09:14 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Good God I have died and gone to heaven. No, seriously.
I don’t even know where to begin...
*goes out to fetch a cold beer and some oreos*
Okay, so these reviews take forever for me to do (hence the beer and oreos) and I say that not because I want to applaud myself for being thorough. In fact it’s sometimes annoying that I can’t just type up a couple of lines and be over with it. The thing is that when I find something I really love I can’t stop rambling about it. Nor can I read a piece of great literature, whether that be fanfic or not, without getting an itch to analyze it. So really it’s a tribute to you and to this story that I actually get off my ass and write a detailed review. It’s simply too good to just read without trying to put into words what exactly it is that makes it so amazing.
Anywho. This chapter. You have this ability to strike a tone in Jim’s thoughts that is calm but at the same time conveys this intensity in his response to Pam. Like here for example:
Pulling at him and making him pause for a second before he pulls out of the parking lot, making him look at her long as she reaches up and rests her elbow on the window sill, lets her fingers sit motionless against her neck and waits there, expecting the car to move. When it doesn’t she looks over at him, questioning, and he sighs and turns the ignition and the car roars to life, the humming of the engine matching pitch with the humming of his thoughts, the pulsing of the wheels beneath him keeping time with the pulsing of his blood.
I love the contrast here between Jim quietly observing Pam as she sits motionless, waiting and the pulsing that’s ignited as he starts the engine. The way his blood suddenly curses through is veins similar to the roar of the engine. If I recall correctly (or maybe it’s just my own interpretation) it’s exactly this that attracts him so much about Pam, her ability to one moment render him speechless and give him a sense of peace and serenity and the next invoke in him a desire that he doesn’t quite know how to handle. Another effect of those switches is that they’re essential in terms of getting that urgent feel I just described. The fact that it’s often preceded my more calm passages really adds to the intensity and gives you sense of Jim is feeling being caught up in the whirlwind that is Pam.
Did I mention it was hot? And what makes it so is that you avoid generic descriptions but manage to create images that are supported by feelings and intensity.
Another thing I don’t think I’ve mentioned before is the way you construct your sentences. Like the example above which basically consists of only two sentences. What’s so amazing and what I truly love about your writing style is that as a reader you don’t even notice just how long those sentences are because the words just flow effortlessly, one phrase after the other. They match the beating of Jim’s heart, at one time calm and steady while urgent and thumping the next. They make you feel and they make you see, which is what good literature does.
He thinks women are like lions that eat men for dinner, and he figures everything he’s doing with Pam is like he’s just begging to be sautéed and served next to a pile of white rice.
(…)
“Wild animals?” he asks quietly and she takes a step toward him and reaches out to push the door open herself, her arm snaking out and brushing hot against his stomach and she’s standing so close he practically groans.
And we have a reversed extended cat metaphor. I love you.
I also want to marry this paragraph:
“Jim,” she says, and it’s only three letters. He tells himself it’s only three letters because somehow it feels like way more, like it’s oceans and rivers and life as he knows it all nestled in between two consonants and a vowel. He thinks for a second that if you changed two letters his name would be hers and he figures that means something…or he figures maybe he got high somehow without realizing it because that definitely sounds like something he’d be thinking after a few hits and a beer. Eventually he figures out she’s waiting for him to say something so he licks at his lips and croaks out a word.
Oh how you kill me with the names and the letters and the feelings and the humor and the GUH!!!!
I could go on now but, I really need to stop. I’m out of beer. ;-)
Just wanted to say on more thing though as a reference to what I wrote in the beginning of this novel review. Every single time I read a chapter of this story I’m blown away and literally can’t figure out what on earth I’m going to say. What I usually do is that I pick a random phrase and starts analyzing. And every single time I find something useful that I can build upon because this story is so well crafted that it doesn’t really matter where I dive in, in some way or another what you’ve written is relevant in terms of the overall feel of the story. Brilliant.
PS. This is so fitting not only for how Jim is feeling (as I described earlier) but for my emotions and thoughts about this story:
Humming.
Thumping.
Right and solid and sober and real.
PPS. Honestly, I’ll stop now.
Date: May 06, 2008 09:02 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
You did a wonderful job with the tenseness of the weather change. It was palpable and believable. Loved the call back to the extended cat metaphor, too.
Date: May 06, 2008 08:03 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
wow.
Author's Response: thanks ;-)
10 [Report This]Date: May 06, 2008 07:53 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Gah. Best. Story. Ever.
Author's Response: thanks shass ;-)
Date: May 06, 2008 06:49 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
*sigh* i love you. you write the most amazing things. i want to go on and on and on about what i love about this, but i have a hard time putting it into words. it's just so GOOD. every SINGLE thing about it is perfect. he loves her. he just does. and that's enough. and i love that he's scared and that it's not just an easy slide into happiness, but a debate that is won hard and fair by his love for her instead of his fear. and i LOVE so much that she quotes him and strips off The Shirt. love it. i could go on for days, but i won't. i love this so much and i can not wait for you to update again. the wait for this was WELL worth it :)
Author's Response: thank you thank you! yeah who knew this would turn into such an old softy love story?? I'm really really glad you liked this and took the time to review. A girl can use all the encouragement she can get and I'm very happy that the wait didn't seem...not worth it. Thanks again, you're awesome ;-)
10 [Report This]Date: May 06, 2008 06:26 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Nora Roberts?!?!?! NORA. ROBERTS. It's official, I love you. (I want to know which book he's read, btw...)
This is just greatness. I don't know where you're going with it, but I'm enjoying the journey!
Author's Response: lol ;-) Just thought I'd toss that little homage in there. Thanks for enjoying the journey, it's almost over, but I'm glad you've liked it so far!
Date: May 06, 2008 05:49 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
My god. I have NEVER read anything like this ever before. No offense to my other favorites, but this is simply extraordinary. I felt like I was watching a movie. It was so intense, passionate and absolutely beautiful, Stablergirl.
Sometimes bad boys turn good, he guesses, and sometimes good girls aren’t as good as you think. Now isn't that the truth?!
He looks down at her and he wonders for the thousandth time how this happened to him and how he could ever be this kind of man. And then he moves inside of her and he sighs and he lets his forehead fall against her shoulder because even though honesty is hard for him there isn’t room for anything else. He lets her comfort him with her sweeping fingers, with her soft, dry kisses pressed careful against his neck, and with the gentle and easy cradle of her hips. That just takes my breath away.
I am truly in awe of your limitless talent and so honored that you choose to share it. I wish I could rate this higher than a "10."
Author's Response: thank you SO MUCH I'm really glad you liked this one because it's a little off track from the rest of the story, so it's hard to say what people will think, and of course some don't like it, but I'm so glad you do ;-) thanks a lot for the review and the compliments.
Date: May 06, 2008 04:45 am Title: Come on in, but I have to warn you, my place is kind of a mess.
Exhale and have a pop tart! This one was gorgeous. I love to feel needed, but this one was just you, cooking on high heat.
Author's Response: thanks sweetpea ;-) you did a little magic in there, come on, give yourself credit. lol. ugh yikes, two more to go...