1 [Report This]Date: August 17, 2023 12:43 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
Very good!
10 [Report This]Date: February 13, 2009 08:31 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I loved this. I really did. I loved the way you got into Jim's head and explained everything... and how he was totally freaked out by the whole situation. I can imagine he would be. Great, great work. The JAM at the end was sweet, too. :D
10 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 08:23 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
Yes! I love this story :) You write Jim very well. And I must say that you wrote his irritation and hysteria really well and I can honestly say that I've felt what he's feeling in this story before. Not about the same subject but I've felt what you've written here. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks Lux! Sorry for not responding sooner. This was the first thing I ever posted here and it was so nicely received that now I'm totally addicted. Thanks for the feedback...I really appreciate every comment. :)
Date: April 28, 2008 09:58 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I loved this...it flowed really well and I really like how you wrote Jim. On the show he's always made out to be the eternal good guy, but I'm sure he's just as insecure and grumpy and jealous as the rest of us, and I think you've really captured that well here. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you! I love writing Jim and speculating on what he's really thinking.
9 [Report This]Date: April 26, 2008 07:05 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I'm a donkey on the edge!
That is seriously my favorite line from Shrek ever, and oh my God, it fits Jim and Pam so perfectly! Wow, I've never thought of that before. Anyway, I really like your story. The whole Tam, Poby, whatever moment called for some immediate mediation, and what better way to solve it than a good dose of Jam? Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks! Totally my favorite line from Shrek, too.
Date: April 26, 2008 06:59 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I really liked this! I know when I am really liking a story when I see that I'm almost to the end and I'm like, no, don't be over yet! I think this is exactly what they're like at home and I loved the first person because you totally nailed Jim's voice. Especially the sections where he's saying what he really thinks in his head and not out loud. Thanks for sharing and I hope to read more from you soon!
Author's Response: Thank you! I reformatted it once I figured out how to italicize and I'm much happier with how his inner monologue is portrayed. Jim is fun to write. He's so much more than the cookie-cutter good guy everyone wants him to be, don't you think?
8 [Report This]Date: April 26, 2008 06:13 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
Thank you for showing this little glimpse of the "human" version of Jim Halpert, not the often over-idealized personification of the perfect male we often want him to be. Trust me when I tell you that I have NO problem with that Jim, but it is refreshing to see the side of Jim that is jealous, irrational and sometimes downright grumpy. Well hell -- even when he's grumpy and jealous and irrational he's still the cutest damn male on two legs.
That having been said, I have to admit that this line made the whole damn thing for me:
I'm a donkey on the edge! my brain screams maniacally.
Because even at the height of frustration and irritation the man still thinks in cartoons. How do you not love a guy like that?
Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! The 'human' Jim is exactly what I was intending...we all love Jim of course but he's got the same emotions and struggles we all do. It's fun to try to get in his head because he keeps a lot of things quiet, but I can't help thinking he has all these dark thoughts like everybody else does.rnrnAnd that has to be one of the best Shrek lines, so...rn
Date: April 26, 2008 05:15 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I have been lurking here for months, and have loved many stories (which I must go back and review) but this story compelled me to review. I finally feel like someone clued me in to what the hell Jim has been thinking the past few episodes. I get it now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! There are so many great stories on this archive! And Jim is still a bit of an enigma so it's a fun kind of challenge to get inside his head. Thanks for reading!
Date: April 26, 2008 07:50 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
Jim went through a lot that night, didn't he? I like that you have him struggling with his jealousy, but keeping it to himself, aware of how it will affect Pam. Good first story.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I think Jim keeps a lot of stuff to himself but the dark thoughts are always going to be floating around...
Date: April 26, 2008 07:48 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I loved this. It was so true to character, I could really see the rest of their night happening like this. Loved the little bit of humor at the end, just like I'm sure Jim did.
Author's Response: Hey, I just realized I never responded to your review. Bad callisto :( because I really appreciate all feedback, and you've been so kind in other reviews! Thanks, several months late. :)
Date: April 26, 2008 07:38 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
That was really good. Great job for your first post!
P.S. If you need to learn how to do italics, I can help you.
Author's Response: Thank you! And thanks for the offer of assistance! I figured it out and my future stories will benefit, because yeah, turns out I use italics a lot.
Date: April 26, 2008 07:27 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I'm scared to death that you don't really love me the way I've always loved you. That I will always love you more than you love me, and someday, maybe someday soon, you'll leave me and I don't think I can survive that again.
There. That's the sum of all my fears and doubts. But how can I say that to her? She'll accuse me of not trusting her, and rightly so, I guess. Most of the time things are so great between us that it seems we've been together forever, but there's a tiny part of me that hasn't healed, a part of me that's still afraid she'll crush me with that one word, can't.
Guh--that just killed me. And you're so so right about what he's feeling. There's got to be a tiny part of him that hasn't healed yet. Simply amazing, callisto! You did a great job of giving some closure to a part of the episode that I felt to be lacking in closure. And holler--so great for your first post! I hope to see more from you soon!
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! I really like doing Jim's inner monologue because he keeps so much to himself, but I have to think he's still a little haunted and probably will be till he gets that ring on her finger. rnrn
Date: April 26, 2008 06:38 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
Aww, I love how you tie up all the loose ends that we've been wondering about. Why didn't Jim do something about Toby, why didn't Hank notice all the cars, oops, forgot to call Hank back, etc.
And the voice really sounds like Jim, too.
This second foray into management has only confirmed what I've always known: I must get out of here. Before I become Michael. So true, Jim. Don't become Michael, there are other managers to model yourself after. OK, not Josh either.
a full-blown nervous breakdown of Jan Levinson proportions -- love that turn of phrase!
It's not like I don't know the signs. I'm the expert, aren't I? Ok, who in this office isn't in love with Pam? Show of hands.
Nicely done, callisto. Hope to see more from you.
Author's Response: Thanks! So many lovely reviews. I'm inspired. I have dozens of these little snippets to finish working on.rnrnThank you especially for specific line-mentions...it's nice to know that some of my favorite 'turns of phrase' also resonate with others!
Date: April 26, 2008 05:53 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
This was really great. I absolutely believe that Jim still carries echoes of that pain around, and I am sure he's got to wonder if Pam will hurt him again. I wish we could see more of these private moments in the show, but if we could I am sure they'd be exactly like this. Very well written! --Strider
Author's Response: I think the hardest part of the show's format is that we don't get to see much of their private lives outside the office. But then, that's why we get to do so much speculating in fan fiction! Thanks for reading.
Date: April 26, 2008 04:34 am Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
This episode was so awkward for Jim it hurt! Thanks for giving it some resolution. Super sweet PBJ too.
Date: April 25, 2008 11:49 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
Ooh this was just great! I love how perfectly you captured Jim's unhappiness with work and how he handled/didn't handle Toby putting his hand on Pam's knee. This line was great: No. Yes. Don't smile at him. Don't smile at anybody but me. And that part about Jim thinking that he loves Pam more than she loves him. Really well done! =)
Author's Response: Thank you! That was one of my favorite lines.
Date: April 25, 2008 11:47 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
Great story :) I LOVED how everyone was just silent and staring at Toby's hand :P
The only thing that doesn't work as well is having all of it from Jim's perspective. Some of the reflections (and especially action descriptions) sound a little too deep to be an internal dialogue, and should probably be written from a narrator POV... just a thought :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I agree that some things are better explained/described with a narrator...I just have an attachment to first-person perspectives and the sometimes limiting viewpoints. Maybe I'll work more on third-person stories though :)
Date: April 25, 2008 10:41 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
You do a really nice job explaining this night and Jim's state of mind. :) Is this your first story, or just your first time posting here? It doesn't seem like a first story.
Pam's "You won't have to" is lovely. :) Good job, callisto!
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! This is not my first story, just first time posting. Something about that cringefest just begged to be explored.
Date: April 25, 2008 10:40 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I just love this! I think you got Jim's thoughts & interaction with Pam just right. Love that he belatedly remembers Hank at the end.
Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, I was wondering at what point he shot out of bed thinking "Oh crap!"
Date: April 25, 2008 10:26 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I like that you had Jim have an actual reaction.
Date: April 25, 2008 10:24 pm Title: Inertia Wasn't so Bad
I'm trying to be better about reviewing stories I really enjoyed- so I must say "great job". This was a lovely view into Jim's head and pulled together many disparate points that are probably banging around in his brain.
I think this story did just what fan fiction is supposed to do, and filled in gaps to more fully develop these characters in this story.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! It's so fun to try to get into their heads.