Date: June 04, 2008 10:45 am Title: Chapter 1
First: My apologies if I've reviewed this before....
Okay, this? Pure poetry. Seriously -- such lush prose, vivid imagery, an achingly poignant look into who/what these two. Following your rather awesome lead, I'm going to mention the parts that I thought were specifically brilliant (settle in; this might take a while....):
- Loved the line in the opening paragraph about the furture being "that shimmering white that heals all wounds, because they now know that they have one." ITA that regardless of how volatile their past was, they'd appreciate and value the future so much that it would eradicate all that past pain.
- The juxtaposition of black and white imagery in your second paragraph is also really compelling -- now that I'm mentioning it, the way you sustain the use of color imagery throughout the entire work is really mesmerizing.
- I think the insight you offer into Jim's character -- particularly his reason for (at least outwardly) not taking himself seriously being primarily fear -- are really interesting and spot-on.
- "For so long she was the essence of his dreams, the shape of his hope, the putrid taste of his fears. She’s broken his heart and now she’s putting it back together." Wow. It's lines like this one that make me certain you should change the names and submit this for publication. Seriously.
- There's a line from an old George Michael song: "You look for your dreams in heaven / but what the hell are you supposed to do / when they come true" that sort of sums up the heart of your story. Love the theme that you're exploring here, and the writers would do well to come up with something even a fraction as heartfelt and articulate as this for exploring Jim's journey in season 5 (if they decide to go that route).
So thank you thank you thank you -- not just for being such a thoughtful, generous reviewer, but for offering up a gem like this one. It was truly a pleasure to read.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to read something else you've written. :o)
Author's Response: Yous the best, girl7. This review knocked my socks off (quite a feat because I'm actually not wearing socks today!).rnrnIt really is quite a treat to be praised by a writer of your caliber. I have such respect for your opus, and to hear (read?) you say that you like my stuff is a definite pleasure! rnrnThe whole truncated season left me sort of adrift in terms of what they were doing/what they did with Jim's character, so I felt the need to explore that concept myself. I actually started several stories that just didn't feel right to me before "Gray" happened. I was actually getting ready to fall asleep and BAM! I was hit with this and it sort of poured out unintentionally and without hesitation. It's a strange, terrifying, fascinating place to go to as a writer, which I'm sure you know! rnrnThanks again so much for your encouragement, my friend! It means more than I can say here!rnrnPS: You+Barefoot wine=LOOOOOOOOVE.
Date: April 30, 2008 09:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
He can't remain a paper salesman forever, but he doesn't think about that now, not when all he sees is the promise of her dressed in white.
That. Was. Awesome. As God is my witness <Kevin> I am favoriting that! :-)
Author's Response: You're a rockstar, LoveFool. Seriously. Thanks so much for the kind words and the favoriting!
9 [Report This]Date: April 29, 2008 02:44 pm Title: Chapter 1
This was just.. gorgeous.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I appreciate it!
Date: April 29, 2008 10:13 am Title: Chapter 1
Holla. Very well written. A nice read.
Author's Response: Ha-holla! Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Date: April 29, 2008 09:51 am Title: Chapter 1
That was gorgeous. It's very lyrical, and despite an undercurrent of angst, there is something very soothing about how you wrote this. It's probably their contentment with the relationship translated into words. "On their first date, they fight about the past, that sharp black that snaps with ferocity, and on many dates after that, they fight about the future, that shimmering white that heals all wounds, because they know now that they have one." Love this line.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, MA! When I wrote this, it was like I was just purging it from my system. It's awesome to hear you say that despite the angst there was something soothing here. I love when people point out what works (or what didn't work, for that matter), and here you've picked a line that I wrestled with. I'm glad it worked for you! Thanks again for your kind words!
Date: April 29, 2008 08:17 am Title: Chapter 1
This is gorgeous and so realistic. The uncertainty and baggage and the way they watch each other and know what they are but still have that fear... yeah, really good!
But they fight about the future because it matters.
That's the kicker.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I truly think they're on the same road headed for the same place...they just need to make sure they're on the same page. Jim can't be hare-ing it to the finish line while Pam's content to be the tortoise. Or something. You get my point. Anyway...thanks again for your review! I appreciate it muchly.
10 [Report This]Date: April 29, 2008 07:36 am Title: Chapter 1
Catie!
I think this is a stunning piece of prose here. You've managed, in just a few words, to really capture where Jim and Pam must be at this point in their lives, emotionally speaking. Jim needs to do some growing up, and Pam needs to figure out where she fits in those plans.
I've re-read this three times so far this morning, and I can forsee me coming back to reflect on this story more and more in the future. In fact, let's just send this to the writers and say "Guys? Take a look at this, in case you're concerned about where Pam and Jim are headed." :D
And that last line slayed me with brilliance. :D
Author's Response: Oh Mose. You are just awesome. I mean, there's not much else I can say, right? That's never stopped me before though....rnrnGetting praise from an author I respect is always nice, but as we've become friends and have discussed the true nature of "bless his heart" in relation to your weather-strewn trashcans, it's more than nice. It's refreshing and much appreciated. rnrnNow, until that-which-I-am-waiting-patiently-for occurs, I'm off to immerse myself in brilliance of your completed fics.
10 [Report This]Date: April 29, 2008 07:18 am Title: Chapter 1
This is just incredible. You have such a way with words. Each sentence was like a new discovery, a new journey into the depths of the characters we see for too few minutes once a week. You've articulated the change, as well as the need for change wonderfully. I'm blown away.
As the Brits have it: Brilliant. Absolutely Brilliant.
Author's Response: Holy crap--this review is what's brilliant. Seriously. Your words and kindness have me sitting here with like a big (and weird, out of context) smile on my face! Thanks so much!!
Date: April 29, 2008 06:28 am Title: Chapter 1
Catie -- this is just mind blowing. Seriously, one of the best things I've read on here in a bit of time. Your descriptions, the tone, everything is just amazing. I've been reading you for awhile now and I have to say, this made me HAVE to review to tell you how great it is. Now I want to go back and reread your work so I can gush more for you!
Great job!! :)
Author's Response: Wow, kerber1920! You're so kind! And gush away my friend (I definitely don't mean that to sound as gross as I fear it does). Thanks a TON for the awesomeness of this review! It definitely put a smile on my face. :)
Date: April 29, 2008 06:05 am Title: Chapter 1
Holla is effin right. This was excellent. And I don't know if I have words for it right now, just ... the imagery is so palpable. Their black past and white future, and the grey road that is taking them there. Awesome.
Author's Response: Haha--funny story about the "holla." I was so excited to be struck with inspiration and thrilled to have it come out in a way I could live with that Holla! was the only way I could appreciate my gratitude at the time. Thanks so much for the kind words, I really appreciate your taking the time to review!
10 [Report This]Date: April 29, 2008 06:00 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow. All kinds of creativity abounding up in here over the past hours! I can see why this already has a blue ribbon! Well deserved. This was so moody and hopeful and nervous and just lovely. Excellent job, Catie.
Author's Response: I was so excited/surprised to see that little blue ribbon there myself, but I definitely appreciate it. I'm glad you picked up on the hopeful part, because really it's not that I don't think they'll get married. I absolutely think they will. I just think maybe Pam needs some time to kind of catch her breath. Again, if I'm wrong I'll be happily munching on my words back here, but this was just something I had to get out. Thanks so much for your kind words, NanReg--It's always nice to hear from you!
10 [Report This]Date: April 29, 2008 05:50 am Title: Chapter 1
I read this last night before going to sleep and wanted to reread it this morning and I'm so glad I did. It's so lovely and your imagery is rich and evokes so much emotion. I think you really have a handle on our dynamic duo. I can't quote the whole story back to you, but the ending? That's something I'm going to remember for a long time
"The road is uncertain between black and white, and gray is not well marked. There are entire sentences and one word in particular that get lost in the back of her throat, trapped behind years of muted suffocation recently alleviated but not eradicated, not yet. There are promises and truths that shine brilliantly behind his eyes, but there are shadows there too.
They fight about the past, though not often. But they fight about the future because it matters."
Author's Response: GiTC: It's such a compliment even hearing from you, seriously. This just makes my day. Thank you very much!!
Date: April 28, 2008 10:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
great job...just lovely.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
10 [Report This]Date: April 28, 2008 10:33 pm Title: Chapter 1
WHOA.
Where the HELL did this come from!? I've known from the start that you were a good storyteller; your earlier stories on the site immediately made me think, "Okay, this, THIS is a newbie I can get behind," but now? NOW you bust out something like this! Of course it's not that I'm surprised--your other pieces have been beautiful, too, but this is....I don't know. I really, really like this. An insane amount of liking is going on right now at Casa de CH. (So much so that I'm favoriting this story, and I NEVER favorite stories.) Your focus and attention to detail, and the subtle theme of the colors (or lack thereof--the use of the grayscale touches so many things for them: grey newsprint smeared on fingertips, white paper, black memories--GUH) really packed a punch with this story. I also love the small details, from the Pam's Harry-Potter-specs (well, maybe not like that, but still--those are somethin', aren't they?) to phrases like the light of their future and the dark of the past.
And this?
She knows from experience what this feels like and she wishes he’d take a chance on something other than her. In addition to her. She knows he wants to ask her, has seen the question in his eyes a million times before. Those are the moments that terrify her because it’s then that she knows she can’t be all of him. She can’t be all of him because then there’s nothing left for her but suffocating blackness.
That, THAT sums up everything I've been trying to say about this idea of them getting engaged. They're ready in that they love each other, and they know that they want that future together, but at the same time, there's something incomplete on the personal level that just has to be taken care of. To me, you have PERFECTLY summed up those ideas I've had that I just couldn't articulate. So thanks for this.
I've loved your writing from day one, my friend, but this just started a whole new ballgame, IMO. Well done, bravo, here's a Dundie, tkae a diet coke, and do a victory lap. --CH
Author's Response: Holy crap, CH. (Also, I now think I've said that to you more times than I've said anything else ever.) This is like freaking awesome. See--you've reduced me to sounding like this. rnrnI mean, almost all that I love in life I can find right here: Jim and Pam, Harry Potter, a Dundie, diet coke! This is my victory lap, my friend, and I feel accomplished. rnrnNo, but seriously, your words mean so much to me. I too am glad we've become friends outside of MTT and I value your input and judgment. rnrnI've spent a lot of time thinking about this Jim/Pam engagement extravaganza. I'll be the first to admit that I've gone back and forth and back again on what I think will happen. I want her to say yes, of course, I'm like dying for her to say yes and for them to ride off into the sunset together...but something about that strikes me as inorganic. I mean yes, eventually it will happen, because they are real people who fought long and hard to get to each other and it's a natural next step, eventually. But I think her 'yes' is going to come with a 'but' or an appendix or a '*see reverse side for side-effects'...just something. If I'm wrong I will happily eat my words, but I think you're right when you say that there's something incomplete on a personal level that needs to be dealt with. rnrnThanks so much, again, for your kind words. I truly appreciate them!
9 [Report This]Date: April 28, 2008 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 1
Great story. You have a style that is almost lyrical. I loved your descriptions, and I think your voices were very in character. Lovely.
Author's Response: Such a compliment! I truly appreciate it seeing as how it's taken me years (read: about 2 weeks) and a moment of blind inspiration for me to feel like I've approached saying what I really wanted to say. Thanks so much!
Date: April 28, 2008 09:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
this was so good, Catie9! Thank you for posting it!
Author's Response: You're welcome! Thank you so much for reading!