10 [Report This]Date: August 15, 2008 06:41 am Title: red delicious
Oh I love this, callisto. I swear it's like you filled in a gap in S2 somewhere. You have their voices down perfectly, and it's nice to see Pam crushing on Jim. And the visual of him with scruff, and a short sleeve tee over a thermal? Yummy. So thanks for that ;) Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thanks kells! I love exploring the after-the-episode possibilities. Hope you like the rest! Thanks for reading. :)
Date: August 14, 2008 08:09 pm Title: red delicious
Absolutely lovely. You write Jim/Pam interaction very well! Can't wait for more :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you like the rest. :)
10 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 05:22 pm Title: red delicious
Callisto! My God, your dialog is PITCH PERFECT here! I especially liked the whole sequence as they start looking at the apples. I like the fleeting moments of melancholy they both experience, how they tease each other, that Pam fakes that she needs cereal to get Jim to reach up. That she shares the Snickers bar with Jim and then saves the wrapper.
I will be interested to see why you shift from present tense to past after the * * *
Can't wait for Orange Monday!!
Author's Response: Thanks VB! I like finding who they are in the little moments the best, and it doesn't get much more cozy than shopping together. I do have to say-- I am not doing the colors in order of the spectrum, though I will use them all. (I tried--it just wasn't working.) I'll give you a sneak peek when it's close :)
Date: August 14, 2008 04:24 pm Title: red delicious
Very sweet. I'm looking forward to reading more!
You've really nailed "the dance" that these two did for those first two years!
Author's Response: Thanks jkfan! I'm glad you liked it. :)
Date: August 14, 2008 11:29 am Title: red delicious
Callisto you have absolutely one of the best Jim/Pam voices around. It is so true and authentic. Your ear for their intonation and just the things they would ACTUALLY say is pretty damn fabulous. Add to that -- you alluded to one of all time fave episodes Email Surveillance (here's hoping that's what your next chapter is about). I, like Pam was always so curious about Jim's life outside the office, so I adore that first venture into the unknown. I'm really going to enjoy this series. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you LoveFool! I'm glad to hear the voices ring true. I sometimes just get bits of imagined dialogue in my head and have to write it down and stuff like this comes out of it. Thanks for reading :) Hope you like the rest of it!
10 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 10:43 am Title: red delicious
Callisto! So happy to see you at the top of the "most recent" list. This is box-of-kittens adorable. First person is a tricky, tricky thing and you do it so wonderfully here. The entire opening section, with Pam telling us about the Dundies, is great. I can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Hey Talkative! I love writing first person, so thanks for that. And I almost left out that whole prologue bit about the Dundies, so I'm glad it worked. I hope you like the rest of it. Thanks for reading :)
9 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 10:22 am Title: red delicious
You have this amazing talent to always get me to smile and warmly think, "Awwww." Very sweet
Author's Response: That is a really nice thing to say. Thanks, flonkerton!
Date: August 14, 2008 10:19 am Title: red delicious
Jim + chocolate = WIN!
But seriously, there is something so intimate about grocery shopping together -- the ways in which these two connect are really lovely.
Author's Response: Thanks lisahoo! Yeah, couldn't resist the gratuitous chocolate-thumb shot. And you learn an awful lot about a person when you go shopping with them.
Date: August 14, 2008 09:48 am Title: red delicious
This was really sweet! I love their interaction here. You have their hesitant yet flirty vibe down. Makes me nostalgic for S2. I can't wait to see what you do with the other days of the week/colors. Sounds like it's going to be quite a ride.
Author's Response: I've been missing season two awkwardness, for some reason. The always leaving things unsaid. Thanks for reading! I hope you like the rest of it. :)
10 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 09:05 am Title: red delicious
Very nice. Oh yeah, I'm sure Pam felt this way about kissing Jim at the Dundies. Love the description of weekend Jim. And this:
“Roy doesn’t like getting his truck scratched up with this stuff,” I explained. Jim didn’t say anything. He never did. Still, the look on his face made me feel weird. Defensive, ashamed, embarrassed.
So sad. But we saw it all too often in season 2. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks Cheeb! Yeah, I always figured she knew what she was doing at the Dundies. Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it.
Date: August 14, 2008 08:55 am Title: red delicious
Callisto, so happy to hear from you! You're off to a promising start. Love this: “As you wish.” He arched a teasing eyebrow at me. There were a few boxes missing, and he had to stretch up a little to get one, his layered shirts riding up a bit to reveal a thin white strip of stomach above his jeans. I caught a glimpse of dark hair, a contour of abdominal muscle, for just an instant before he was turning back around to me. “Here you go.” He set the box in my cart with a flourish, regarding me quizzically as he looked into my face. Princess Bride reference, treasure trail, stomach muscles...resistance is futile. And this perfect ending:
When I got home I licked the Snickers wrapper clean, folded it in half, and tucked it into my wallet. Nice touch : )
Author's Response: Happy to hear from you, NanReg! I'll admit I wondered about adding that whole cereal-aisle scene, but a little superfluous Jim-adoration never hurt anybody, right? And thanks for that about the ending :)
Date: August 14, 2008 08:49 am Title: red delicious
Oh, I love this! I can't wait to see what happens next!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I'll try to post this whole thing relatively quickly.
10 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 08:38 am Title: red delicious
That was really good. I see Sundays are going to be good days!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it, DunderSnob!