Date: September 22, 2009 01:20 am Title: Chapter 4
Hey, I just got around to reading this, so the review is little late... I hope you don't mind.
Anyway, I genuinely enjoyed reading this, and will probably come back to it, at least every time I'm brave/stupid enough to re-watch Phyllis' Wedding. If only it could have been like this...
You asked for feedback on you did Jim (um, dirty thoughts...) so here goes. I think you're first person Jim narration is quite good. It mostly sounds like him, especially the doubts and the calling himself stupid but still being unable to resist Pam's pull. The only thing that felt the tiniest bit off for me was his speech on this last chapter. The one starting: “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough the first time..." I feel like Jim might not speak that long or that eloquently about his feelings at that point, still riding high on relief and euphoria. I don't know, he just never struck me as a man of so many words, lovely as the speech itself is. But as always, it's open to interpretation.
And last but not least, Dwight in the bushes was a great detail! So funny and true to the character.
Date: September 12, 2009 02:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
Great job. I loved the words you put in Jim's mouth when telling Pam how he felt about her. I think I'll print them and place them in a special place to glance at from time to time. Oh, how I wish he had said them on that night. Very nicely written.
10 [Report This]Date: September 04, 2009 03:23 pm Title: Chapter 1
I LOVE this! Jims speech to Pam made me tear up! It was beautifully written, bravo!
10 [Report This]Date: September 03, 2009 11:49 pm Title: Chapter 4
Sorry...I'm back to gush some more :D I read it a couple more times and I just can't get over how great this story is. The first chapter absolutely crushed me. The way Pam thought she was invisible, how she felt everything had gone wrong but all she wanted was her friend Jim, especially this part, "If I could have my friend sometimes, I think I could be ok, too." My throat tightened throughout that chapter and the second one.
Then I cautiously cheered when Jim went after Pam because that's progress from the way they tiptoed around each other. But when I reached the third chapter and thought they were just going to "pretend" this away, I almost stopped since I don't usually like angst. And I'm so glad I didn't because the fourth chapter was just wonderful. Absolutely wonderful and stupendous and great.
Oh yeah, have I mentioned how much I loved this story? Because I really, really do.
*sigh* I'll stop rambling now.
10 [Report This]Date: September 03, 2009 11:03 pm Title: Chapter 4
Trogdor, thank you so, so much for writing this wonderful story. Even though I know how happy Jim and Pam are right now (with a wedding and a baby on the way), this story almost made me wish that Phyllis' Wedding happened the way it did in your story.
You did an excellent job in writing their perspectives. From Pam wanting to be happy for Jim but just couldn't because she didn't have her friend Jim anymore to Jim wanting to put distance between him & Pam but he just can't. I loved how he went after her and, thanks to Dwight, they finally became honest with one another. The happy ending was a bonus.
Thank you once again for this!
Date: September 03, 2009 04:41 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh what might have been. I remember having had such high hopes for something "happening" between Jim and Pam at Phyllis' wedding...something to get them back on the right track...and back to each other. Something so much like what you have given us in this story. Nice job!
10 [Report This]Date: September 02, 2009 02:26 pm Title: Chapter 1
I loved this! I always thought there should be an "alternate ending" to PW, and here is the perfect one. Great job!