Date: March 25, 2018 01:55 am Title: A Knock at the Door
Not really understanding why it now seem like Pam is still in love with Roy and need counseling about him cheating. Characters have done a random about turn which which makes us feel like Jim would end up being some sort of second choice when they get together.
Date: November 07, 2010 03:32 pm Title: A Knock at the Door
I really hope you'llcome back to this story. It's different than any of the others I have read an I'd love to see where things end up! If you're still around please continue.
10 [Report This]Date: March 25, 2010 07:27 pm Title: Back to Normal
Oh yes... here comes Pam! I'm so excited to see which direction you decide to take the fourth chapter, and like I said before, I'm always happy to help if you want, and I think I saw another beta mention this, but you may want to consider asking a beta to come on board, I know from experience that they are so helpful! Beta's can always give you a little nudge in the right direction or help you tweak things to make your story even better. Just a suggestion, and I'm looking forwards to what's coming next!
Author's Response: Once again, thank you for your reviews and thank you for following my story. You seem to be a kind and helpful person, so I was wondering if you'd want to beta my stories? I attempted to send you an e-mail asking you this but it wouldn't let me send it because of an error or something, so I figured I'd ask you here. Your help would be greatly appreciated, please let me know!
10 [Report This]Date: March 25, 2010 06:46 pm Title: Taking It One Day at a Time
Aww. That was really sweet! I'm so surprised I didn't notice this second chapter get posted, so I'm off to read no. 3 now. One suggestion, I would change the inner thinking at the beginning and the flashbacks at the end to italics. There's a way to do that with codes (on the screen shown when you post), if you don't know that. Let me know if you want help putting the dialog into italics, I'm glad to help you out!
Author's Response: I was planning on italicizing thoughts and flashbacks but I couldn't figure out how to do it before I posted it, so if you're willing I'd definitely appreciate help on that!
Date: March 22, 2010 02:16 am Title: Taking It One Day at a Time
Hi! Your story is off to a great start, it's always good to relive the angst of casino night through the joy that is fanfiction. I just have one suggestion for you, which is maybe try to get a beta reader to check over your chapters and edit them before you upload them? There are quite a few places in these two chapters that switch between past and present tense, sometimes within the one sentence (example: "She's glad it was over with."). That kind of thing can be a bit jarring for the reader so interrupts the flow of your story. Anyway I hope you take this on board as some well-meant constructive criticism and KEEP WRITING!! :) hope to see lots more Jam stories out of you :)
Author's Response: Yeah, I probably will get a beta to check over my stories before I post them. Thank you, I appreciate your input!
Date: March 21, 2010 10:59 pm Title: Reflecting
i like the twist of your story, its a little diferent from the others casino night stories. xD
just one little thing......"casino night" stoped been an spoiler a loooong time ago.
Author's Response: LOL I guess that's true!
Date: March 21, 2010 05:27 pm Title: Reflecting
I like the approach you're taking with this. I think sometimes in the fan fiction world, we like to get to the good parts fast, but in the real world, it doesn't always happen so quickly. So, I think it's cool that you're letting them reach a new relationship slowly and realistically... Don't get me wrong, I love all the romantic & happy stuff too - so don't let me down in coming chapters - I trust you'll be getting to that part soon!
Author's Response: Thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2010 11:47 am Title: Reflecting
I just wanted to review again in response to what you said - I completely agree with all of your reasoning and for a first story, that was just perfect! (And even if it wasn't your first, still equally good!) Also, I was just looking at your bio, it's nice to know that there are some voices of guys out here, not that I am one, but it's just good to know that everything posted here is all coming from more or less the same perspective.
Anyways, awesome job, and I'll be back for chapter two.
Author's Response: Once again, thank you very much. It's reviews like this that keep me motivated on coming up with the story. Yeah, I figured there weren't many, if any, guys on here, but thats OK. I can't help it that I have a romantic side to me. It greatly conflicts with my other traits and hobbies and frankly I don't understand where it came from. It just doesn't seem like me at all, but apparently it is and here it is coming out with my love for writing. Thanks for the review and I hope I don't disappoint!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2010 01:22 am Title: Reflecting
I'm loving this already and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thank you, I appreciate it. I hope I don't disappoint.
10 [Report This]Date: March 19, 2010 11:29 pm Title: Reflecting
Hey there. I really liked this chapter and your idea for this story, too. Your writing style I felt was very true to Pam, in that it was simplistic, but still had many strings of emotion and thought. A really nice combination, especially for the length of this chapter - you sure fit in a lot - but made it smoothly. My problem is that I'm so wordy I just can't move on from idea to idea without, kind of handholding the entire way step by step.
But back to your story, I'm really excited to see how you continue this and I'll be ready to review your next chapter when it comes on Wed/Thursday!
On a quick last note - I wasn't sure if you were implying that this was your first fanfic or your first Jim and Pam story, or first on this topic... but whatever the case is, nice first (fill in the blank!) story, and welcome to MTT!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it.
This was my first time writing a fan fiction story of any kind, and really the first time I'd written anything non-sports related, so this was definitely a change of pace for me.
I tried my best to explain the situation, thoughts, feelings, and emotions while staying true to character. I was a little unsure about the way I described Pam thinking of herself as sexy, as she usually tries to down play her looks, but I remembered how hard she tried to look pretty for Jim on his first day back from Stamford so I went ahead and did it. I was trying to sneak a subtle glimpse of Fancy New Beesly in there during that scene and I hope I was able to get that across.
I'll have the next chapter up ASAP, and once again thanks for the thoughtful review.
I look forward to your next one on chapter 2!