1 [Report This]Date: December 30, 2020 04:11 pm Title: Pam
The insecurity you've identified with Pam here, about how she's playing catch-up and how she doesn't quite feel worthy, feels very Pam.
And her future being "a blur of you and me" is a seriously gorgeous line.
1 [Report This]Date: December 28, 2020 01:05 pm Title: Jim
This is very poetically written. And I really like the idea of Jim's fear and their past still looming over him - "terrified that it was 2006 and my life was a countdown clock" is a good line and also feels a lot like something that would in fact haunt Jim.
Author's Response: I definitely spend way too much time overthinking every sentence I write, so I appreciate the affirmation :)
1 [Report This]Date: October 09, 2018 12:14 pm Title: Pam
You have captured Pam's voice beautifully, but I must say that third paragraph is perfection. There is so much there that just resonates there of how that season in their relationship might have been. And I really like how you talked about laughter being more than just funny...I think that's important and a big part of their relationship too. :) Thank you for this beautiful two-part piece!
Author's Response: Perfection? You flatter me too much. Thank you!
1 [Report This]Date: October 09, 2018 12:09 pm Title: Jim
Oh I love those early days of love when you will do anything for someone. I love what he remembers of the time in NY with her; so lovely. And I see that her going to NY would terrify him, thinking that he might lose her. You captured so many beautiful emotions in this letter; i dig the unique format.
Author's Response: This was a bit of an experimental story for me, so I’m glad the style worked for you! Thank you for reviewing!
Date: August 26, 2018 09:35 am Title: Pam
Oooh, I really like this one. You hit on Pam's tone incredibly well. Her self-doubt and gratitude feels very real. Even the writing style of this one seems very on-point. She's more analytical and thoughtful than Jim, more questioning, and I like that it's reflected here. This was just lovely.
Author's Response: This means so much coming from you. Thank you!
Date: August 26, 2018 09:29 am Title: Jim
There are a few things I really loved about this letter.
1. I loved this line/technique the most the first time you used it: "...we ate them on courtyard benches with fresh orange juice and I love you I love you I love you." I enjoyed it being in the middle of a paragraph, in the middle of thoughts, as if that one thought took over and he couldn't recount everyday life anymore.
2. The paragraph where he describes waking up thinking it's 2006. I could totally see this happening.
3. I especially liked how he says that he'll work at DM forever if he has to, considering how his feelings change on that. I love that injection of bittersweetness for the readers, since we know what happens and Jim, at this point, doesn't.
Nice. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for both of your thoughtful reviews! I really wanted to capture the deliriously in love state that Jim must have been in during the early stages of their relationship, and the “I love you” ‘s in the middle of the paragraph were the only way I could image Jim portraying that emotion, so I’m glad to hear that it was in character.
1 [Report This]Date: May 01, 2018 12:03 am Title: Pam
This was a delight to read, you manage to be very sweet without getting syrupy. I like that even though this is arguably their happiest time together, you seamlessly included some of the things that would cause some issues down the road, Jim's fear of losing Pam, Pam's pesky self-doubt and worry that she's not enough for Jim. But mostly you feel the love and happiness. Good work!
Author's Response: Thank you! “Sweet without getting syrupy” was definitely my intent while writing this one. I wanted to write something that showed their relationship in its early, happy stages without it becoming a cringy, muddled mess of emotion, which can be a hard line to walk, so it’s relieving to know that I achieved that. Relationships are rarely ever entirely sunshine and roses. Pam has a consistent streak of self doubt, and Jim spent so long pining for Pam that I think it’s entirely unrealistic to believe that all that simply vanished once their relationship began.
1 [Report This]Date: April 30, 2018 04:10 pm Title: Pam
This is just so sweet. You captured what early love is like so beautifully. I would very happy read more of these as they progress through their relationship, but I’m so glad you gave us these two. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you! I didn’t even think about continuing this, but now that you mention it...
1 [Report This]Date: April 30, 2018 03:58 pm Title: Pam
This was so cute! I love the thought of Pam keeping these little moments in a box like a Jim diary :)
Author's Response: Who doesn’t love a Jim diary? Personally, I have a habit of trying to capture moments that mean a lot to me, so judging from the mental pictures in Niagra, I figured maybe Pam does too :)
1 [Report This]Date: April 30, 2018 02:27 pm Title: Pam
Love this. Very nice first person, and I'm a big fan of letters as stories.
Author's Response: Thank you!